I have a question about something I've never really experienced before... maybe it's not so uncommon, but it was for me. So I was laying in my bed for a nap, and I was feeling a lot like relapsing M. However, I've been strong these 30+ days and in my mind it was out of the question. I put my hands behind my head and as I was sort of drifting off to sleep, I fantasized a little bit and started moving a little bit and ended up ejaculating.. My question is.. is this a relapse? I never touched myself.. and literally only had the weight of a blanket on me. As it was happening, I was like.. "lol this isn't how it works.. oh wait! Oh no! Does this count? omgggg. no. what?!" In a sort of half awake state. I'll admit I was fantasizing that ended up in.. you know. But I don't feel like I technically M'ed? I didn't really "decide" to go ahead and relapse and didn't touch myself. It was almost like a mistake. I honestly didn't think it could quite work that way. I really don't want to reset my counter.. that would be such a mental blow. Any advice? Similar experiences? What are the "rules" here? Thanks!
Whatever makes you ejaculate/fap/produce semen unnaturally (without sex with a partner) then it is a part of PMO. It might be hard to control Orgams (O only) at first, so you may focus on P/M for now until you are able to have full Monk Mode. Good luck.
This really reminded me of another recent post: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/did-i-relapse.254142/#post-2286033
IMO it's a reset, not a relapse. Had the same thing yesterday. I'll be real with you though, even though it might be a mental blow. Fantasying about P is about the same as physically watching it if you look at the neurochemistry part of it. By fantasysing you fire the same brain pathways that are related to P. And braincells that fire together wire together. BUT, you made some great progress in the past 38 days so it's not much to worry about. As long as you stay on you path to recovery you'll be fine. "It ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."
Thanks guys! I really appreciate the feedback! I decided I'll keep my counter since I did not technically P or M, and I'd rather keep a count of that (not in monk mode yet). But if it happens again it will feel more than a one time "oops" and I will wanna reset.
Update/side note: Yesterday I was taking a nap and I was dreaming about some things that almost resulted in a wet dream. But I think my brain sort of knew what was happening and was able to wake up. After I woke up I was in a very "sensitive" state to say the least. I realized that just by thinking about the dream, I would be able to ejaculate like before without touching myself. However, armed with the knowledge of my previous experience, I instead got up, and went about my day, putting all that behind me. I know now that under certain circumstances I can O without M in this state of sensitivity that 40 days has put me (never experienced this before. no way I could O without M before, barely even without P). So if I decide to use this new "ability," it will basically be the same as MO. And I know to avoid it now. But I think that these realizations and being able to wake up out of the dream are all things on the road to recovery and having more control over myself.
