Realizations from beating an addiction and not my meat.

64 Days in and It's been a pretty wild ride so far on NoFap and there were a few times when I really just wanted to give up. Beating an addiction can really have crazy side effects like some overt symptoms of depression and even physical body weakness but getting through that is still pretty worth it especially with all the growing up that had happened to me.

Everything feels real right now; the bad things feel bad and the good things feel better and somehow I can feel things happen around me instead of them just passing. I'm no longer a spectator in my own life, I actually have a good grasp on it...instead of something smaller.

Still, on the bad side it seems like my tolerance for bullsh*t has gotten way smaller. It's like I can also feel when stuff is all fake. Porn, modern educational system, modern work system and perhaps our society in general its all fake. I'm not saying that it doesn't exist but more like it isn't sincere and it all exists to take more from you than what you can get from them.

I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist here but maybe Porn and Fapping (and other adictive substances or activities) make us more numb to our problems and thus more compliant to the whims of others, forgetting ourselves in the process. It may not be by design ofcourse.