Thank you fapstronauts for posting your treads. It has helped me out at times of need. But....I'm scared. I'm scared because for the past 2 weeks I have PMO'd intentionally. I can't even at least get past 3 days. I'm also scared because just today I had a light conversation with a girl in my church (I'm orthodox. Also Christ has Risen!) and I want developed a better friendship with her but worried that I'll focus looking at her body rather than her eyes (she has pretty eyes ). Pray for me guys. And it will be awesome for advice or trick to get through this vortex.
I'd get a pencil and piece of paper. Then write down your goals for masturbation and porn. Start small and work your way up. "1 Day without PMO." Then "3 Days without PMO." Then "10 Days" ETC. Then take that piece of paper and look at it every time you wake up and every time you go to sleep. That's a trick I learned that's helped me a lot. Then when you accomplish a goal you can cross it off and not only are you reminded each morning and night of how far you want to go but also how far you've come. You can overcome it man!! Stay invested!
Hey! One of the things that's actually helping me a lot (besides the support on this page) is trying to find support within my faith (I'm catholic)... I managed to be out of POM for about 30 days (Lent turned out to be a really great period for improvements in my life) and the feeling was absolutely awesome (it was something I hadn't experienced for more than 8 years). After that, during this period I have fallen twice to POM and the feeling just afterwards was totally awful, not for the idea of having betray my goals but for the difference I experienced between my 30-days-out-of-POM state and my post-POM state. The only thought that keeps me away from it right now is the recently-got certainty that I'm happier avoiding it than giving up to it. Being myself a helpless romantic, I really hope you can use those pretty eyes of hers to help you find the strength you need to free yourself from those thoughts. Value the chance you have! I'll keep you in my prayers!
She is reflecting to you your true strength. This is a great sign for your recovery and your spiritual life. If you keep up NoFap and give her her own space you will find that what she shows you is within yourself. I would suggest to focus on not masturbating and watching porn and also ignoring here a little cause you really don't need her. When you don't need her you will be able to offer her support cause the love she will want to give to you will support herself and her life. This makes your recovery very magical and exciting! You might become friends. If she tore out her own eyes gave them to you and you ate them there would be nothing in them so it must be what You see! You are seeing the beauty which is in you. The result of this is that you will be able to help others see this beauty. This is just my opinion.
Christ is Risen Indeed! Alleluia! Getting past 3 days can be tough because at the end of three days your testosterone levels are at their maximum, which creates strong urges. Best way I've found to get past the 3 day mark is to take 3 to 4 cold showers on the 3rd day, always have an icepack ready if you need to use it, and meditate frequently (I use the Jesus Prayer, which I have your church to thank for ) If you want to go really extreme, just stay away from the internet for the whole day on the 3rd day.
I don't think you should be scared. Being scared doesn't help, I think. I don't think I need to say what does help, as the comments above stated it well. I think posting this thread also definitely helped, and people's prayers will help.
Something that you may find helpful is an idea from Archbishop Fulton Sheen that a way to overcome lust is to Love something else more. Doing something is usually easier than NOT doing something, so instead of focusing on not doing bad, try doing something good and productive. I noticed a couple of you guys mentioned being Catholic or Orthodox. Someone started a thread for us a bit ago: http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/catholic-orthodox-fapstronauts.35224/ We did a week long Rosary challenge last week and I'm sure we could do another (or something similar) if you asked.
Hey bro. I'm going to shoot really straight here, because you're a brother in Christ. Until you've sorted out your porn addiction, you aren't ready to pursue a lady and honour her in a way that honours the Lord. If some one had said that to me while I was still addicted, I probably would have disagreed, but you definitely have a different perspective on the other side of addiction. I'm urging you to put the girl situation on pause or forget about it until you're in a better place. Bless you, bro. Stick in there.
I went through the same sort of thing recently. You have to just soldier on through it. Put an image of what you desire in your head and you shall gain it. For about a month I did what you are doing which was devastating because I managed 25 days before that; now I'm back on track and am on my 20th day. Faith definitely helps. Having a higher being on your side is always good. As for the girl situation I wouldn't worry about it. I do worry about the same sort of thing but I use talking to women, or trying to, as practice for forming genuine relationships. I'm not saying that some of the people posting here are completely wrong. They are not. You do need to distance yourself from women a little bit however at some point you will have to socialize and interact with women. Stay positive (or as positive as you can be) and keep trying and eventually one of your attempts will succeed.
The only way to get through this vortex is to change your attitude. Currently you are attaching PMO problem to religious images (judging on terms you use - "scared" "pray" "christian", etc.). Why? Because it is enjoyable for your ego. You're feeding ego with stories about how you do something right or - in this case - wrong. This gives you more identification. Just stop imagining things. There are absolutely no good or bad things. Stop looking at events through the prism of 100% conditioned (learnt) images of your mind. You will see that all this is just psychology and ultimately it is not such a big deal what you do. This body was born, it lived and it will die. Nothing is that important. And thinking of yourself as a "wrong" or "bad" person is very pleasing for ego but at the same time is very destructive and unrealistic.
