Sharing my story for the first time. I want to stop.

My problem. I have a problem. I have never truly wanted to acknowledge it but it’s there. I am 29 years old, with a master’s degree in Engineering finishing top in my class, and will start pursuing a PhD this year. I just got married last month, handed out my dissertation thesis and I’m planning to have kids in the nearby future along with moving out to another country. I have just finished a year long psychotherapist therapy due to my excessive anxieties and fears culminating from my childhood experiences. It’s been a roller-coaster of a year. But in all of that, I’ve yet been able to confront my pornography and masturbation habits, which are ruining me bit by bit. I’ve never had the nerve to present this problem to my therapist and my wife. It’s something I’ve always been ashamed of and couldn’t bring myself to truly confront my problem. I’ve tried several times to stop, but never really could bring myself to stop for more than a month. Now I’m ready to share my problem and take it as seriously as it needs to be taken.
I’ve been exposed to pornography since a very early age. My parents divorced when I was 9 years old, and my father has decided to move with his new lover to a new country a few days later. When I would visit him with my brother and sister we would be exposed throughout the house to Playboy calendars, pornography movies in the living room sitting next to the DVD player and even more videos stored in his laptop. It was very weird at the beginning but eventually we grew very accustomed to it and it became just a regular part of our visits once every year or so.
As a result, I found myself starting to masturbate to porn very early on in my life using my father’s materials. It’s been part of who I am since I can remember myself. With the introduction of the internet and the abundance of porn, my habit grew stronger and stronger. I would masturbate daily, sometimes once, sometimes even more. Later on, when I turned 18, I would start drinking and smoking while masturbating, to elevate the pleasure. At the age of 19 I was drafted to the army and I served as a combatant for 3 years. I couldn’t really masturbate freely since I was always around people and was always on my feet, but when I would come home after being away 3 weeks at a time, I would find myself masturbating as much as I could, as if I’m fixing myself a “drug” that I desperately needed. This problem continued on in my engineering studies. Every time I would feel stressed or anxious I would masturbate to porn, adding some alcohol to the process.
Long story short, my problem is not temporary as I’ve always said to myself. I always told myself that I would always be able to stop doing it, the same as I’ve done by stopping smoking but I find myself coming back to it again and again. I don’t have a stop button. I'm sad about it. I'm ashamed. I'm wasting my years on a bullshit habit.
I want to be better to myself. I want to be better to my wife and be as upfront about my problem as much as I can, so I can improve our lives. Today I’ve decided to share my story. This is the first time I’m doing it and the first step I’m taking. My wife doesn’t know about my problem. We are sexually active and we actually enjoy sex a lot with each other. She is the love of my life and have made me a better person. But I’m really afraid of sharing this with her. I feel so much shame. I don’t want to share this with people close around me. So I’m doing it here as a first step.
So here I am, I'm trying again, maybe the fact that I shared my story can help me actually stop watching porn, masturbating excessively and hurt myself. I know that abstinence from porn is good for me, I've felt it. I want it to be permanent.