I know many people, both men and women, who watch it and they have happy lives and relationships. I also know people who are sensitive about it and it leads to addiction but these people are lonely men. Thing is, porn is just a visual represesantion of sex, which is a normal eveydya thing for a lot of people. But for some peole its an unattainabke dreamso porn gives an outlook to something outside of their reality, a window to a better life they will never achieve. And its like a drug which makes it addictive. Its a matter of perspective really. For examle, i play guitar and when i hear a difficult piece of music, i can keep up with it and learn it. But some other guy, with less abilities will be overwhelmed. Same with porn, if sex is a normal thing, then porn wont be a problen. if sex is an impossible thing, then you will be overwhelmed. When doing NOfap, you have to look at yourself and take dcisions based on your plight. You have to asess what you read and keep the stuff that is benficial for you. NoFap is about you and only you. You set the goals based on your situation.
That's the whole point; your goals and your situation. If you dont have goals then sex and perversion and masturbation will have greater importance in your life and you'll depend on them more. If you're goal orientated and wish to do something meaningful with your life then lust will mean less to you.
Porn is definitely bad for me and I don’t like the way I behaved while using it. Lots of weird compulsive behavior and wasting time looking for the perfect vid to nut to. but I don’t buy the arguments about misogyny because they give a lot of emasculating fetishes a free pass. I also don’t think most women are against porn as much as they’re against men watching porn. Go one reddit and they’re all thirsting about James Deen no matter who he injures on set.
Some people seem to be fine watching it, but I don't know anyone in a long term relationship who watches it and has a satisfying sex life. Remember normal is not satisfying, sex once a week could be normal, doesn't mean its enjoyable. I also don't know anyone who has sex daily after 6 months of a relationship, if that since the honey moon period wears off and we get into life's routine. The problems I've had with porn and sex, is even if the sex is available to me I can't be bothered nor am I interested. I can just sneak off and watch whatever I want, without having to worry about stimulating someone, and someone trying to stimulate me when I don't what that. Stopping this returns your mind to seeking out this physical interaction once again, which is important to a loving relationship, as it is the closest form of intimacy and where we are most vulnerable and open to our partners.
Man this was a home run statement. Selfishness is about your own satisfaction and not the giving of ones self to a partner in vulnerable ways.
Also to add to the above, porn IS NOT a normal representation of everyday sex, especially if it has become a replacement for a non-existent or disappointing sex life. Many of us look at things that are unrealistic and will not happen, nor would want to happen, e.g. my ex would watch porn of multiple masked men grabbing and having their way with women. She obviously did not want to get sexually assaulted by a load of men, nor did she want to have that fantasy in a safe environment. Similarly, men will watch all sorts of strange and bizarre stuff, some may even turn to trans porn, feeling disenfranchised with women.
Porn is not normal, it is perverted. It is like being a creep, hiding in someone’s bedroom and watching them have sex. It is only for perverts and weirdos who don’t believe they deserve true pleasure. Porn is fake, the people are fake, masturbating to porn is nowhere near as satisfying and pleasurable as fucking a woman who is really into you and who you are really into.
The bottom line is humans can 'normalize' anything from weed smoking to gay marriage to transgendered people, does it make them good for society? Probably not. Delusion comes in many forms.
It is like alcohol. Alcohol is inherently bad for any animal, it kills organisms on contact on a microscopic level. But many people have no problems consuming alcohol, they don't die and they don't even become alcoholics. But there is nothing good about it if you want to become an athlete or accomplish any other bigger goal.
Sex doesn't work properly if couples consume porn. Its like lung capacity on cigarettes, it can only get worse. Sure, you might not necessarily die and you might still be able to walk up and down the stairs, but you will never be an athlete. You get good at satisfying yourself (with porn) OR you get good at satisfying your partner (without porn). Not both. Anyone is free to make the decision for themselves.
Those are excellent points. In addition to our circumstances there is also our brain chemistry. For example, some people can try highly addictive drugs without a problem, and other people are hooked immediately due to differences in brain chemistry. Also, porn is part of a spectrum of sexually stimulating material. My problem began with ogling catalogs depicting models in lingerie and bathing suits. When I have abstained from porn for long periods I have been triggered by advertising that uses sexy women or even watching a TV news program with sexy reporters. If we can't define porn clearly then we can't say it is inherently bad.
Been with my wife 10 years and we have sex most nights..in fact , more than when we were in our 20s! We're in our 30s now, and yes, we have on ocassion watched p0rn together to spice things up. It's hit and miss, every couple is different. But I think the longer a couple stays together, the more enjoyable sex they have! I don't get this notion that it's amazing in the beginning then fizzles out??!
It's a bit like alcohol. Not everyone who drink an alcoholic beverage becomes an alcoholic, and just because people become alcoholics doesn't mean alcohol is evil. Trouble is a number of people on here are religious fundamentalist who believe in sin. I'm trying to get away from that attitude and that's one reason why I don't come here so much. I think it's unhealthy to believe you're a sinner or were born in sin.
I thought your post was interesting and informative. But I disagreed with this bit. I don't think I have ever seen a video in which porn is just a representation of sex (and, unfortunately, I've seen a lot of porn). The adult actors are performing for the camera. A script has been written, different acts have been agreed beforehand and the level of enjoyment is exaggerated (or faked). Lot's of former porn actresses say that they had to do loads of things that made them uncomfortable or were painful. Even amateur couples are performing for the camera. If porn isn't inherently bad, it isn't inherently good either. Lot's of people can incorporate some junk food into their life without damaging their health, but that's in spite of it being bad for you. Same goes for porn - it's always unhealthy, but some people are able to handle unhealthy things in moderation.