P is poison

no dont aim for hundreds of days streaks. aim for forever free from porn. that's it

i would not drink a poison even tho once per 30 day's, because i knew it might kill me

 

Hi Redapple,
don't be so absorbed with statistics and goal setting my friend. You are not preparing for an athletic contest! Abstaining from the 'evil' of PMO is infinitely more complicated.
You are right to take it one day at a time. As the lyrics of an old song put it " yesterday is gone sweet Jesus and tomorrow may never be mine.' PMO is not a tap to be screwed on and off at will.
Ergo do not even countenance ending your abstinence streak after 30 days. YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO STOP! I know this from all too bitter personal experience.

Take care pal and good luck!

 

Hi pal,
Patrick Carnes states that a porn addiction is 14 times harder than a heroin addiction to overcome. I don't understand the science behind this. But if it's true it's a terrifying statistic.
All living organisms primary function is to reproduce. That is why the sex urge is so strong and ejaculation brings so much pleasure. In primeval times, indeed until quite recently, infant mortality was very high.

In order to survive our species females had to have a large number of pregnancies. We men still have these strong drives. But in the modern Western World, large families are an anachronism. This explains the ubiquity of birth control measures.

We are programmed to seek out and perform acts that will never be redundant. But do not have the same existential importance as before. Combine this with the stealth bomber of internet porn and a real danger exists.
You and I Redapple, like most other men today, have easy access to the internet. Frankly we can view more naked women in 10 minutes, than our forefathers did in an entire lifetime.
But there is hope Redapple! It will require constant vigilance on our parts. This price we must pay. Otherwise our physical and mental health will be destroyed. Given the escalating nature of porn addiction we could well fall foul of the law also!

Take care friend. I hope I have not painted a hopeless picture. We can be free but it will take considerable effort on our parts.

 

Have you ever fasted? If so, you might have noticed that hunger isn't exponential: you don't get more hungry the longer you don't eat. In fact, after long enough, you get less and less hungry until you forget about it altogether. The same is true for porn. The longer you go without porn, the easier it is to keep going. The evidence here isn't anecdotal, it's scientific. I encourage you to read www.yourbrainonporn.com.

Commit to quit porn entirely and forever. How do you do that? What I did is write down my entire sexual history in excruciating detail, everything that caused my porn addiction and everything that followed it. I left absolutely no stone unturned. It was extremely painful to write, but I didn't leave anything out. After I read it back, I realised just how much porn had fucked me up. Being able to absorb on a page exactly where I was made it so obvious to me I had to quit.

Maybe what works for me doesn't work for you, and that's totally fine: everyone's different. But what I know for sure won't work for anyone is only aiming for x or y days. You have to aim for forever. If you leave the door open even an inch, your addiction will put it's foot right in there.

I hope this helps. Believe me, it will get easier.

 

i do agree, when you done with your target or 90 days restrain yourself from going back to your oldself and the benefit will be in you at long time

 

Hi Gorge,
regarding your warning about leaving the door open only an inch. I was always told that temptation usually enters through the door left open for it!
The secret, in my opinion any way, is to rewire your brain. If this is done then temptation and triggers will lose their power. I have tried to practice chastity. But I have failed miserably.

For me the best course is celibacy. To achieve this I do a meditation called 'The 32 Parts of the Body.' During this practice one reflects on the foulness of the body. It has proved successful thus far. But only just!

This approach is of course not suitable for everyone. As a 47 years old morbidly obese man I have given up all hope of a sexual relationship or having a family of my own. In addition I have no confidence whatsoever with women. This is because of the plethora of women who have rejected and humiliated me!

A younger more virile man would find such a practice counterproductive. The best course for him would be to marry and abstain from PMO. Each of us must find his own way.

Good luck comrade!

 

Hey Dexter, I feel sadness reading this, because I am sure that you have a lot more to offer a woman than just your body! Porn teaches people that looks are more important than character but this is simply not true (although of course a lot of people are shallow like that - so you may have been unlucky).

I hope you won't give up hope and that you will (learn to) love yourself enough to appreciate your body which will also make you want to look after it. After all, it is our home and we live in it. But even more importantly, I hope you will know that there are (many) people out there who (will) appreciate you for who you are! Strength of character is what's most important, and having overcome porn addiction you have already proven that you have that!

 

Hi Alicia,
thank you for your kind words. Please see my journal " Dexter's Journey.' This will give you a better understanding of how I have reached such a stance.