Cant take it anymore

It's good man. Success often comes after many failures. I've been on this site for a long time and look at my counter - 0 days. But I've made it to 90 days once, and I swear to you, the feeling of rebooting will make all of this hardship worth it. You have probably reached a very low point, so you now have a great opportunity to improve.

 

Hello,


I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling. Rebooting has its ups and downs, just like life. We see many people experiencing both the ups and downs during the reboot, and though it may be hard to see now, these feelings you are having won’t last forever. It will get better with time, if you are patient and wait.


In the meantime, please seek professional help. I know the idea of calling a helpline might terrify you, but in times of crisis, we often need someone their to put our lives in perspective. So please contact someone who can help and don’t hang up on them. The International Association for Suicide Prevention maintains a list of suicide prevention hotlines for countries all over the world. Also, if you don’t feel up to actually talking to someone on the phone, StopSuicide maintains a list of online instant messaging and chat suicide prevention resources.


You are not alone in this. There are ways to treat depression. Please contact people that can help you. Being depressed often makes it feel like you don’t have any more options. But that is a lie. That is just the depression talking. These feelings you have won’t last forever. We are in this with you, and we will all be cheering for you to get through this!

- The moderation team

 

Hello!

Man, i have something to say for you. One day I was reading a book and in the book there was this phrase:
"If you see the problem, but you can't see the solution, the problem is YOU. If you see the problem and you know the solution, then its a matter of commitment" - think about this.

YES you have a solution. YES you can overcome that addiction. YES you can have a normal life. What lacks inside of you ? SPIRIT. You want to change ? I think so. So CHANGE. Who the fuck will stop you ? Who the fuck will say to you: No, keep going on PMO and waste your life ? No one !!

You are the only person that can overcome that addiction, why the fuck you cant fight it ? You are the same as me. We are made of the same thing, i have blood, you have blood, I have a brain, you have a brain, why the fuck you say ou can't overcome the addiction ? Who is stopping you from killing that bad root ? No one !!

You want to change ? You want to have a fucking normal life ? You want to feel pleasure in living ? You want to have a normal sex life ?

YOU KNOW THE SOLUTION

NOFAP HARD MODE !!!

Start today, RIGHT KNOW, do a commitment to yourself !! LOOK AT YOUR FUCKING MIRROR AND REPEAT LOUD, SCREAM IF YOU WANT: I WILL BEAT THIS SHIT !! PMO WILL NO MORE BE A PART OF YOU !

Scream with all your fucking lungs, scream as loud as you can!!

Make a commitment, you want to change, you have the tools, you have the KNOWLEDGE.

Seriously man, you shouldn't be sorry for you ! No, no one here is sorry for you ! You have discovered nofap community. How many guys do have a PMO addiction and don't find the Nofap ?? I feel sorry for them, because there are guys who don't know there is a solution to their problems, BUT YOU KNOW THE SOLUTION.

START TODAY, START RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
BREAK YOUR FUCKING PHONE, THROW THE FUCKING PHONE TO THE WALL.
CRUSH YOUR COMPUTER!!!
BURN ALL YOUR PORNOGRAPHY MAGAZINES
SAY TO YOURSELF: I DONT WANT TO JERK OFF ANYMORE, I WANT TO STOP!!!

LIVE LIKE A FUCKING MONK, NO PHONES, NO COMPUTER, NO MAGAZINE = NO CHANCE TO WATCH PORN!!

You start Nofap Journey. Do you feel horny ? FINE ! DO SOME FUCKING 20 PUSH UPS, SLAP YOURSELF !

Do you feel in doubt about your journey ?

PICK UP A FUCKING PENCIL, RIGHT DOWN IN EVERY FUCKING WALL IN YOUR HOUSE OR YOUR BEDROOM: I WILL NOT JERK OFF ANYMORE, I WILL NOT WATCH PORN ANYMORE. I AM MOTIVATED AND I WILL OVERCOME THIS ADDICTION.

You recognized the problem. You know the solution. You have a whole community with hundreds and hundreds of people to help you. Do you feel bad ? Are you facing a flatline ? Are you having suicidal toughts ? Create a thread, message me, I will answer every fucking message you send to me and I will remind you why you started this journey !!

YOU KNOW THE SOLUTION, MAKE A COMMITMENT.

(Sorry for the cursing, but sometimes you need to hear things like this)

 

Don't worry! Porn is not that bad to think these kind of extreme thoughts to. Its actually natural for us males to be attracted to female novelty... don't be so hard on yourself

Bro, you are not alone. There must be over a million 'nofappers' all over the world literally struggling. Its all good
The beauty is in the struggle. Trying... failing... relapsing... its all good. Part of the journey.

Over here especially none of us will ever judge you. We have all been through it and all of our individual experiences are different. The key is to acknowledge you might need help... and here we are!

Is there anything particular affecting you? Maybe I can offer some assistance?

Take care... and fuck suicide. Enjoy porn if you must, but your life always come first. Then we fight this hard struggle!

 

Don’t let porn take everything from you. It hasn’t yet.

 

Your life is not over because you have porn addiction, Ishee.
Your porn addiction does not cause your OCD, depression, anxiety, panic and "brain fog".
But that which causes your OCD, feeling of powerlessness, anxiety, panic, "brain fog", etc., promotes your addiction, too.
If you really want to get well, you will have to do one thing, and start doing it now.
I guarantee you that there is a way out of your situation, but only you can do it.
Wherever you are, imagine that there is a child with you now, he's not a living real person, but like a spectre, a non-physical kid (since it's just your imagination), who is nonetheless aware of you and everything in the room. He is smart and weak, shy and a little lost. Now hear him, a being of 7 years old, tell you how he is a failure, how he let down his father, how he is not a man his family needs him to be... I'm sure you can continue on your own, see him say and MEAN about himself all these hateful things you say and MEAN about yourself.
Then watch the child hit himself with a large heavy object in his belly and his head. Watch him bleed, scream, and do it again, to just scream again. Now watch him quiver in pain on the floor, and ask you "Am I a man my father wants me to be now? Will you help me be even better?".
What will you answer?
Will you take the bat and hit him some more, to help?
Do you think what I wrote above is cruel, sadistic, bizarre and utterly insane? I hope you do, friend. But this is what you do to yourself. That kid is you.
In pain and confusion, long time ago, you found something that made you feel better. It didn't end up being ultimately healthy or helpful for you, but that's how it is with all things - we grow out of stuff that once was (or seemed) helpful. Your entire issue - the list that I made above, including your never satisfying search in pornography, stems from one thing - lack of empathy, kindness and generosity to yourself. I believe that you want to be of value to people - to take care of them, to be a strong presence in lives of others. Charity starts at home, bro. With this I mean to say that you can only start that by being an adult, an advocate, a protector and a supporter of that child in yourself.
You cannot give what you do not have. You cannot provide security and support to others if you deny it to yourself.
There are different solutions to different situations, and for you, right here, right now, I'd say to delay the "be a man, just do it" approaches. They're extremely well-meaning, but they may not be what you need right now. Let everything be. Let yourself be. Sit in this particular moment, and notice that right now, just right this second, you are alive, and breathing , and the planet is moving, and you are okay. You don't know the future.
See if you can find words for the child, do you think he is going to achieve success by doing what he does? Or do you have suggestions for him?
You turned to porn because you felt bad. You won't quit it by making yourself feel bad.
It doesn't matter right now if you watch porn. It doesn't, because that is not the cause. Feeling bad is the cause, and the only one who can help with that is you. By being compassionate and understanding to yourself.
Porn doesn't matter. Whether you stop judging yourself - does. Now.
I'll also add: I'm not a psychiatrist, and I'm not in any way professionally qualified to give mental health advice.

Hang in there, kiddo.

 

Ull die anyway so why not doing something big like defeating ur demons? No point in speeding up death, its for granted anyway

 

You can't beat porn with willpower and motivation. You can't. You need to fight against from the root. Here's what i mean: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...t-pmo-urges-the-easy-way.277077/#post-2545415

 

I know it must be hard to keep relapsing over and over again , we've all been there and some of us still are. But to start with have you got any filters on your devices? do you have an accountability partner?? Have you wrote down reasons as to why you want to quit porn and masturbation ?? do you journal everyday?? Make no mistake porn and masturbation addiction is the hardest addcition to quit its not a joke so you need other tools to fight it . You can't just rely on willpower it will eventually run out when your in a vulnerable position. Suicide isn't the answer that is just taking the easier route, you must face these demons and fight them. Stay blessed and take action now !!!

 

You are WRONG!!
We men are more BRAVE and POWERFUL than we think !
In this world, women try to be man and man try to be women, the most powerful thing in this universe are US.

Men shaped the world, men built the world as it is, with all the bad and good, but WE men made de world this way, men fought wars, men ruled huge empires !!

Your ancesters were asked to go to war with a rifle on their hands, we just ask to stay a minimum of 90 days of hard mode.

Do you really think that willpower can't win anything ?
We don't need help to do sh*t, we are more than enough.

That's being small minded. We can do EVERYTHING if we want to !

 

That is correct. People can achieve whatever they desire. But one thing you need to understand is, we are not living in 1949. This is 2020 with high speed internet porn. Back then, people doesn't have to deal with the stuff we are dealing with in today's generation. That's why their brain function a lot better compare to us. Don't want to judge you, but you are underestimating porn addiction. I've been on a 100+ days streak back on 2018-2019. Then i relapsed for 3 months straight. Despite i know how harmful porn is. And i still do it because i underestimated the addiction. Willpower only last for so long, trust me. I'm just being realistic here. Your brain doesn't care how much of a man you are, if you let your guard down. It will force you to relapse and pull you down to the bottom whenever it wants. Porn addiction isn't something to be taken lightly. It has to be treated relentlessly if you want a chance to get out. I suggest research the science about how porn affects your brain. Please read the thread i linked up there. Don't want you to relapse, not looking down on you. It just I have seen enough on this journey.

 

You are saying something that doesn't make sense.
What you said in your previous comment is that only willpower can't beat this addiction, and that is incorrect.
I understand what PMO addiction is, I have witnessed many cases of that addiction, I'm not underestimating, porn addiction is as bad as alcohol addiction, drug addiction, it's just another addiction.

My point is, willpower can beat everything! The most powerful thing in this universe lies within our heads. If we dominate our heads we dominate everything else.

I masturbated 3-4 times a day for 6-7 years, always watching porn. I'm on my way to day 24 hard mode and i don't feel a single urge to watch porn ? And why ? Because I wasn't addicted to porn ? No, because i made a COMMITMENT. I want to stop, I want to have a normal sexual life, so I will fight for it! Nothing comes easy in your life. You can't expect to beat PMO addiction if you don't do anything about it, that's what lacks inside of people.

VPNs ? Living without phone and computer ? Yes, that can't work, I still have a phone with me, a computer, I have Instagram with a lot of hot chicks, sometimes I stumble upon a sexy photo. But guess what, I don't do anything about that, instead of letting myself go, I resist, and that is the difference between someone who want to fight the addiction and one that don't.

The problem is not when urges come, or when you see something that triggers you. The real question is: What will you do next after seeing something triggering ? What will you do next when you have an urge ? Do you masturbate and watch porn or you just accept what you saw and carry on with the objective in your mind ?

 

We all feel that way. Some of us right now in fact. I’m not gonna write any profound wisdom but I can tell you we have all felt it. It’s a nightmare. I’ll pray for you and the strength to u need

 

If you can do it. Then hats off to you. But im just saying willpower alone isn't safe enough. You need to stay PMO lots of other things implemented in your life. Most people have no troubles getting to a month. It's not difficult. We all have incoming mentally weak moments. And when that comes. You will be in a position that very sucks when PMO urges comes. Just make sure you have developed new habits in your life. Exercises, diet, cold shower, mediation, etc etc etc. Combine these with your willpower. Then yeah. You are pretty much safe. Just don't underestimate the addition. So you won't let your guard down. Good luck hitting 90. I'm going to share my 40 days experience

 

First you said that he can't beat porn only with willpower, now you say it isn't safe enough. You need to decide. You know what changes people ? PAIN.

You want to know why I am so commited to reboot myself ? Cause I faced an experience that for 90% people would find traumatic. The moment I couldnt fuck a women It was the moment I knew that I needed to change. Despite all obstacles, despite the urges, despite the flatline, honestly ? I couldn't care less, i will go through HELL if that means that I can reboot myself.

Mental weakness it's very vague. I have moments when I feel weak, I have moments when I feel there's no hope and my mind floods with questions: "Why am I doing this ? Is this worth it?". Im no Superman.

As I said before, you can talk about triggers or whatever you like, I watch many things that triggers me during my day. The hot chick in Instagram, Facebook, that sex scene in a movie, like anyone else, but you know the difference ? I don't react to that triggers, and why ? Cause Im strong mentally ? No, because I made a COMMITMENT.

When you talk about mental weakness you need to take something in mind, we all work at different paces, we all think and look to the same thing with different perspectives, but deep inside us, deep inside in our heart and mind, we are ALL the same.

I was reading a book these days, and there was a story of a grandfather and his grandson, they lived in a tribe in the middle of the woods, and the grandfather said to the kid: "Inside of me, there is a battle, between 2 wolves. One wolf represents my fears, my anxiety, selfish, lack of confidence, all the evil that is inside of us. But the other wolf. He represents the kindness, confidence, all the good things that are inside of us."

And the grandson asked: "And who will win the fight?".

The grandfather looked at his grandson and replied: "The one I feed."

Understand what I said ? Everytime in our nofap journey, we have choices to make, one of them are about the urges, that random urges that happen everytime at any hour. But when the urge comes, you have 2 choices: Relapse or resist and continue your journey.

When you have a urge and you decide that you will resist, you made a choice. A choice that will feed the good wolf, and the good wolf will grow bigger and eventually will kill the bad wolf.

This is what reboot is all about. Train our mind to "kill" our neural pathways of PMO. Everytime you choose to resist an urge or whatever, the neural pathway of PMO will be less and less present.

 

Nothing is impossible my friend.
I don't want to talk to you stereotypically and repetitively, but just try not to focus on it; You are so much stronger than you think, dear. I don't know how old you are, but I can only tell you that your mind and brain are more powerful than anything in this world.
Of course, as long as you want to in the first place, and put aside these ridiculous thoughts.

 

I have once gone thru a streak of 9 days without fapping and after that I fapped everyday. I can fap up to 5 times a day. After that, it leads me to a realization where I really need to control myself and reduce fapping. Therefore, now I have forced myself to look into this seriously by participating the #NoFap challenge. I designed my own challenge which runs from 13th May until 31st May, a total of 19 days and today is already 18th May which means I am on my Day 6 without fapping. I will equal my own personal best record in 3 days and beat my best record in 4 days. To be honest, the past 5 days had been a hell for me because a porn and masturbate addict like me couldn't fap and jerk off. I felt so insecure for the few first days but thank God I have slowly adapted to it and here I am at Day 6. The urge is still strong though but I always tell myself to hold it because if I don't help myself, no one is gonna help me. I still watch porn, but I just manage to control myself from ejaculation. To reduce my urge, I always find some other things to do, like push up, read a book, watch YouTube videos/Netflix etc to keep myself occupied.

I still do not know whether I can hold on until the 31st May but I am sure I can beat my own personal record (9 days) this time. It's very difficult, to be honest, but you have to make sure your will is much stronger than your lust. If you find it really difficult, start with small steps, then gradually increase the challenges. I am sure you can do it!

 

Hey man,

I know exactly how you feel bro. We're all here with you, don't worry everything will get better. I feel like I'm honestly going mentally insane sometimes, I'm planning my relapses, to prevent HOCD. I HATE the fact I'm giving in, and the fact is I think I'm weak, I don't know how to fight anymore, I've gotten plenty worse since the start of my recovery over 2 years ago. I need this 'Perfect Relapse', and every time I relapse it kills me. I don't even really have a deep voice, and it kills me everyday, I'm trying hard not to give up. But, with all that bad, there is good too.

I have made it to 56 days highest streak once, and I can say that there are loads of changes. It's hard, but you have to push through. Recovery and Addiction are absolute hell, but once we're out of it; it's heaven. You will feel better, confident, have a deeper voice, less social anxiety, etc. Those are just some, but trust me. Thing's will get better brother.

Start with small goals, and extend them as you go. Say, a week at first so try and get to that goal, then go to 14 days and work as hard as you can. Read as much posts of NoFap as you can on tips to beat this addiction. You are so much stronger than you think, you have the will power even if it isn't present at the moment, let me tell you; IT IS IN YOU. Forgive yourself for these latest and all relapses, and just breathe in the moment. Ask yourself how was life before all this? And, how is it now? If it was better before, then fight for that! Fight for the freedom that you strive for, we all are right here with you.

 

Bottom line: Exercise more, meditation, diet, coldshower. These will help improve your willpower and make it a lot easier.