Why do we become PMO addicts?

Because to the fast build up of arousal (dopamine) combined to more dopamine (masturbation to orgasm), represents a very fast increase of dopamine levels, comparable to taking a small dose of morphine in the same time window. Addiction has been described as pavlovian and instrumental conditioning, which PMO certainly does, it is sexual conditioning want it or not.

 

I have no idea how I became addicted.

I always knew what I liked, i still like/ get turned on by the same thing as I did when I was little.

And some day I guess a curious little me found the internet and noticed I could search for what i liked and there it is.

I never used PMO to escape anything in the first place. It was simply pleasure. I've never had problems passing exams, get a job, girlfriend, hookups etc.

So I guess I simply got addicted by the feeling and never really cared about it until I noticed I wasn't able to have successful sex with a real woman.

 

@LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

Hey Losemyself, I will try and engage on your points.

So, right, we get a dopamine reaction from various events. Some healthy, let's say sex, food, you mentioned achievement, yes, I agree. Some not so healthy, say drugs, alcohol, unhealthy fixation on sex, but for purposes of this discussion, compulsive use of PMO.

Abstinence, yes, completely avoiding a dopamine high, for at least 90 days, seems to be the best way to reset. I recommend that for almost everyone. But after that there is life. The first, best, purpose of this place is to teach people with a PMO problem how to fix the PMO problem. It is, as you have said, about resetting the brain through abstinence. When Alexander talks about "the cleaner the recovery, the better"--and I will address @Garek --on this point as well, he is talking about how to fix the problem in the most efficient means. The quickest way to fix the problem is to avoid using artificial sexual stimulation, even to the point of planning on avoiding sexual thoughts as much as possible, for at least a few months. 90 days is somewhat accepted as the time frame. There is a tipping point in that time frame where you want to stay clean more than you want to get high, and it is also helpful because it teaches the user what I have called the impossible thought: I never have to use again.

I know that. I know I never have to use again. I know I never had to use. But all you have do is look for nubes in the forum who are still under the thrall of porn's great lie: I can't quit. Of course they can! They just have to be willing to pay the price of quitting, and for one who has used so much they come to consider themselves addicted, the price of quitting is pain. There is a very simple way out, but it hurts. As to @Garek's question, the answer is the same as Alexander has said, "The cleaner the recovery, the better." We use different words, but what he is talking about is efficiency. The most efficient fix is where you do not play with the problem, and do not feed what the problem really is. The problem is not really porn, it looks like it, but the problem is a conditioned reliance on a dopamine rush. Avoid that dopamine rush for 90, then get it healthy for the rest of your life. That is the fix.

A neurological brain reward event will be with us until we die. If we did not have it, we would die. Its purpose, which it serves actually quite well, in humans, and other species, is to encourage reproduction. For those of us here, though, the first generation to be exposed to High Speed Internet Porn, HSIP has hijacked that otherwise healthy and necessary brain function. It's OK, its about learning what it is, why it is, why we react the way we do, and learning to fix the problem.

Much love.

Billy the Kid.

 

Okay, and when my skin starts to crawls and I feel as though I am on fire on the inside? What then?

 

@LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself

Answer: No. The physical manifestation for me was inability to reach O during sex. I could reach it every time with P. Gabe Deem says that is a test for addiction. If you can reach O without P, either through sex or M, you may not be addicted, but if you have to have P to reach O, you are probably addicted.

@Garek

If quitting what we call porn addiction was easy, it would not be called an addiction.

When quitting, people usually withdraw. Withdrawals are physical, mental, and emotional pain. When I quit I went months is almost debilitating anxiety. I thought my teeth hurt. They did not, but my brain told me they did. In a sense, withdraws are your dopamine soaked brain's way of punishing you for not giving it that fix. If a dopamine high is a 10, then when quitting, we don't go back to 0, we go to negative 10, and over time work our way back up to 0. When I quit, and I this though many times a day, I though to myself: This feels like dying. I hate this feeling, this is the worst feeling I have ever felt in my life. I literally want to die. But if it takes feeling this feeling, every day of my life, for the rest of my life, I will feel it, if feeling it is what it takes to never go back.

That was a long time ago, when people were first identifying as addicts, and few had walked it to this side of clean. Now we know that around 90 days, the withdraws, for most, start to seriously fade away. Back then, I thought it might be a lifetime, but we know better now. And knowing better makes it so much easier. Will you still feel like you are dying? You will feel bad, but now we know you will only feel bad for months, as opposed to life. Garek, if you are looking for an easy way out--it won't happen. The question I think everyone quitting has to ask is: Do I hate being addicted more than I hate the withdrawals when I quit If your answer is no, don't even try.

Peace.

W.

 

I was a super horned up kid growing up so it all started there. I swear, lol. Now it's just boredom that does me in

 

@Hold it in

I could probably say the same. By the time I began wanting to quit, I did use it often just to kill time. Boredom as you say. Where it became a problem was the feeling I had when I quit it for a second. That was way before I understood about neurological reward events and dopamine highs. I just it felt BAD. Did not know why. Still felt bad once I knew why, but knowing why took a bit of the terrifying prospect away. To feel that way for an unknown reason and to think I might feel that way every day for the rest of my life was terrifying. Now we know one quitting will feel bad, but it is temporary, as in months.

Peace.

W.

 

We're going to find out.

 

@LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself Very Well Expressed.

Let us all become ‘Will Swims”!!
Let us make another great personality: “Will Swim” so much so that Will Smith notices it.

 

@Boxerito
Perfect.
We are like that dog Pavlov experimented on.

And this is THE REASON why we get aroused and obsessed by any averagely exposing picture of a woman or in real life.
We have been conditioned to M on seeing an attractive body.
It’s almost a Complex Conditioned RELFEX.(I know its a big claim), But yes, because it goes up on seeing someone with a mere Tight Chest! That’s The reflex my boys!

 

Ehm, according to what Gabe Deem says and what I've read online I think it is PIED. I "did the test" and it seemed to play out the same as it does for someone with PIED. But I'm not sure. What I also found to be strange is that with some women I can come faster than when I fap alone.
I can come to fantasies alone etc.

I can also have successful sex.
I know how this sounds but, it depends on the woman.
I dont know what is my problem. I honestly have no idea. Some things are accurate.

 

Could be.

Yea I've tried 90 days. But the thing is. I never go 90 days without getting laid and I'm not the type of guy to say no when a woman clearly wants to have sex with me. And its actually the women that wants to incorporate porn into the sex because they wanna know what i am into etc. I basically just use pmo as an outlet between the women. And it becomes addictive when I keep telling myself that i dont know when Im gonna get laid again. Which usually occurs every 30-60 days...

I dont know. Maybe i am trying to remove an addiction that I dont really have...

 

No I wouldn't say so. It happens every 30-60 days so if I can trust in that then I might be able to "recover" while still being able to enjoy sex. Its all about the balance.

I don't agree with that. You make it sound like theres one way, the only way to do this. I fully believe one can have real actual sex during a reboot. Its not black and white.

 

Because porn is really really fun.

 

Yea I agree regarding the dopamine spikes.