Good morning world....Day 21 starts today....finally three weeks....according to science 21 days are enough to change a habit, but according to me its only our determination and willpower that helps us in changing ourselves, i have been getting erections for all day long, i am experiencing boners even while eating or workout, its hard to hide always in front of family ,but i am still trying to hide it,,still fighting, and will keep fighting until i overcome pmo....is there any remedy to dont get boners all day long?
Hi All, For accountability I'd like to share the fact that I looked up a sexual term in You Tube to see if there were any 'harmless' clips on that term. Thumbnails came up and about 2 or 3 of them were P, so I shut it down and went no further and felt like shit, like really guilty. I don't personally think this is a relapse, as I did not click in to any of the videos, but the fact that I went and looked in You Tube for a 'harmless' clip was the exact opposite of what we are trying to achieve here. Would one of the more tenured members be able to confirm to me that I am ok to continue on this stretch? I guess I am, but would like someone to help me by confirming. On Day 12 of no MO but on day 47 of no P. Thank you so much in advance.
I'm not so sure I quality as a "tenured" member of the community ( ) but at the very least I can offer my opinion. The language you used implies you knew you were taking a risk when you looked this up, and knew porn might appear. This sounds like fishing to me: this is basically your addictive brain wanting to look at porn but managing to convince you that what you're doing is totally fine ("it isn't technically porn", etc). What I would suggest in the future is to try and cultivate mindfulness and always be aware of what you're thinking. You should never look something up just to see whether it's safe or not. There may be rare situations where you're "forced" to take a risk but you have to be honest with yourself. I wouldn't call this a relapse or cause to reset your streak but it definitely is a slip and something you should take steps to prevent happening again. Hope that helps.
Coming at you from the early evening of day 4... Speaking of fishing... I did it again today. This time I can't really use the excuse of autopilot either, although I definitely didn't think it through. I did see a mild trigger this time and for me that was my kick-up-the-butt "what the hell are you doing?" moment. Seeing as this has happened two days in a row now I think it's clear this is a pretty big risk factor and I need to take preventative measures. So far both times I did this I had strong conviction otherwise and didn't let it lead me down the wrong road, next time it may not be that simple. So from now on I'm going to try and be more mindful when I'm spending time on the internet. I've been getting more into dieting and strength training lately, and while that's definitely a great hobby to pick up there are no shortage of triggers from the female side of those communities if I'm not very careful. I should only really read articles/consume media of this kind at times when I am unlikely to relapse and preferably in situations where I can't (eg around other people). Of course, this goes hand-in-hand with the general extra sense of mindfulness I'm trying to cultivate right now. I'm going to try and be more conscious of what I'm doing and how long I'm spending on the internet from now on.
Day 4 I dont feel as confident as I felt 7-10 days ago. It's me who caused it. PMO makes you feel that you are worthless because your brain knows that you tend to pm when you feel sorry for yourself. So, there are 2 options: 1) continue to masturbate and watch porn and feel sad for yourself for the rest of your life. 2) quit pm, suffer at the beginning of the process and feel confident and happy as hell after that. I am not the one who should talk, to be honest. I've never reached 2 months. I am writing it because I want to write what will happen when you don't stop pm, because that is the hell I am living in.
There is no such thing as 21 day magic.Bro.I think it's going to be a long battle which lasts for months and years. Watch this video