I'm addicted to porn and it is negatively effecting pretty much every other aspect of my life. I'm tired of it and I'm realized how bad it's gotten because of this rough time in my life. The only way I can get out of this rough time is to stop and start improving myself. My goal is no porn for 90 days and NoFap for at least two weeks. I know how important this and how much I've been holding myself back and I'm done.
You can do this. My advice is make sure you have a plan for device usage, internet access and screentime. Most guys relapse due to self-sabotage when browsing Youtube, dating apps or using their internet browsers for no specific reason. Get offline and away from the TV, as much as possible. If you can set rules for yourself, lock your devices away and don't be alone/bored with the door locked and curtains closed, then you have done most of the hard work of controlling for temptation in-advance.
I've been completely lazy lately and letting porn take over my life. It's not just porn just being on my phone addicted to procrastinating and not doing my school work , working out or anything else productive I need to do.
One thing at a time. Stay away from PMO. And in doing so, start these new habits to support your new positive lifestyle. Use no-MO - which is an Internet Addiction - to guide the rest of your journey to self-improve. What happens is that PMO is the most hedonistic, unproductive, lazy thing you can possibly do, except for hard drugs. So by quitting that, you are already making life more difficult and discipling your mind. When you invite PMO into your life, you also invite other negative behaviors that are mapped to the same malfunctioning reward pathways: over-eating, alcoholism, video game addiction, etc.
This is exactly my case as well. Step 1 - love yourself and be positive. Write out your accomplishments and things you are proud of each day. Don't hate yourself when you slip up. Step 2 - Have a clear goal of what you want to do that you aren't doing right now. Do you want to go a month without PMO? Do you want to quit porn entirely? Step 3 - Put all your energy into accomplishing this goal. And learn how to be most efficient at it. Learn techniques from others on how to avoid PMO and what to do when you get urges.
First day went ok I fap once but no porn but still a lot of time wasting. I spent the the whole day on my phone. I should probably define what porn means for this reboot, any sexual imagery ? Or any nudity at all maybe.
And I've been spending a lot of time on this dating app which I know is not good or helpfully at all. But I'm lonely and I want a pretty girl to talk to me and give attention I don't talk to anyone since my breakup and I'm not sure this is a good thing or not. The only person I talk Ed to on a daily basis was my girlfriend but now we're done so I have nobody that's why I started doing it. In hopes that a girl will actually want to talk to me. But it's probably better on my own so I can learn to be alone.
My problem might be more so that I'm addicted to my phone and procrastinating. I really struggle with this.
You already know the answer. Ditch the instant gratification seeking behavior with the dating app and begin bettering yourself in the offline world. You are doing a disservice to the girl by introducing all of your problems and desperation into her life. She wants a healthy, well-adjusted man - not a brain-damaged addict seeking validation. You need to be happy with yourself first and then bring that happiness into the relationship.
I completely agree. I need to focus on myself and my goals. I studied for biology last night for two hours and it felt good to do something productive.
slow down and focus on one thing that you can change right now. I am struggling with school, but I can study tomorrow. Setting a plan for your day helps
PMOed twice this week so I realized that I should catch myself again before I slip up too far. I really believe that not focusing on it and just trying to live your life the best is the best way to do this. For example, I went a few days last week no faping at all, and worked out almost every day. I wasn't really "trying" it just happened because I was being healthier. my problem is that I'm home alone every day for most of the day and its up to me to do thing things I know I should. porn is not always a part of my life it comes and goes but when it comes I see how it kills all desire and motivation to do anything good. Faping has always been there but does not hinder me as much but I know things are when I eliminate it. There are so many things I want to do and want to be and so many things I know I should be doing. It's like I don't actually believe that I can become this perfect idea of myself and that it could never really happen. I can't do all those things I know I should be doing that improve my life because I believe that would be too good to be true or something. I know that nobody is perfect and has their life completely in order but I should be trying my best.
I only have a month left of school my grades are fine but I've been cheating my way through two of my classes. I'm not studying enough to understand the material in these classes. I've been lacking motivation in school because I'm unsure if I have the right major and what I want my future career to be. I've been doing lots of research about majors and careers and what I want to do but so far I have not found anything. I know at the very least ill probably enjoy studying what I am now if I continue down the same path. I want it to be something that I enjoy, I'm good at, and will make me decent money. I'm not sure exactly what jobs I would or could get with my degree are and found out it's not the best especially for an undergrad. I want something that fits my criteria and puts me in a decent position with an undergrad. Having all these thoughts and questions makes me unmotivated to actually do what I need to. This is important because I need to figure out what I'm going to do with my life but I have already picked out my classes for next semester so I have some time I guess.
use this as a journal to rant my thoughts sometimes. I'm wondering if I should continue doing this on here but I also want to start my own personal journal as one of the good habits I want in my life. I do like it to be able to look back on it and see my thoughts. It does make it more interesting for other people to be able to read it as well though. should I do both or just one maybe I'm not sure.
