i stopped myself from doing something horrible, but i still feel horrible

I've had compulsions to do risky sexual stuff since my teens and it's been several months since the last time I acted out in any way except for PMO. I have found recently that just giving your brain a break from anything sexual is a big help in fixing this type of problem. Had a 29 day streak which reset a couple of days ago and the change is incredible in terms of freeing me from fantasies, compulsions and now I have a much better controlled libido (as in not lusting 24/7). Trust the process and stay as far away from triggers as possible.

Btw it's not a relapse unless you act on it so well done for resisting!

 

Agreed. We all struggle with temptation and, while trying to quit PMO, you may find yourself tempted to do things that you've never done before (at least, that's what I have experienced over the years) . . .

Try not to worry too much about the thoughts and the twisted things that tempt you. Focus on actions. @zen3001 I read a lot of positive actions in your opening post. You deleted images of an ex from your phone and you walked away from a site that was tempting you to do "something horrible". Focus on the things that you did right. For someone on day one (now day 2?), you are doing great!

 

I've spent a lot of time over the last month recognizing triggers and trying to learn from them. I can't stay away from every trigger, but I can learn what they are and be prepared for them. I know one of my porn based perversions was the desire to have men view my wife and for me to watch her have sex with them. Through porn that desire grew and grew and grew. It impacted me negatively more and more and more. I never acted it on in terms of showing her pictures. I was always able to tell myself that my issues should never impact her, but I understand where you are coming from. Whether she is your ex or not, think of the potential damage it could do to her, and even if she never found out, how disrespectful that would be for you to do. This process has been full of ups and downs, but I can say in my case there have been many more ups than downs. Keep going. Be proud that you did not act. Get through today. Then you get through tomorrow when we get there.

 

Hello!
I am one of those many guys who actually have went through with the impulse, sharing pics of my lovely gf.

It’s almost 3 years ago by now, but yea. I was 22.
I was deeply stressed and pretty messed up from many previous “traumas” (breakups, parents with deadly diseases, failures in life in general all in a few years) wich I couldn’t cope with, so porn and PMO was my escape.

it escalated to the point where I used to show lightly dressed pics (no completely nude ones) at a site for a specific kink.
I made sure to never include her face or any tattoos or such when I used pics of her body luckily, thank god for that.



Anyway, I realized what I was doing wasn’t something I wanted to do, and I felt so lost and disgusting so I decided to tell her about it and be a man.
Owning your failures and wrongdoings is the right thing to do.

She was very understanding as she knew I had been struggling with the problems in life (those mentioned earlier), and she was very supportive.

Now I’m almost 26 and more of a man than a stupid kid, and I wouldn’t do it again.
We are engaged and it’s all good.



What I’m trying to say OP and anyone else struggling with this weird behavior is that it doesn’t necessarily have to ruin who you are, it all depends on how your partner handles it.

If I would have someone showing my body online as an example, I would feel flattered and good looking, while some would feel exploited.

Not saying what you almost did wasn’t wrong, but it’s not just all black or white. Every situation is unique - it’s not like you almost raped or kill someone, but it’s a bad thing to do, though it’s not something you should ruin your mental health with.




Stay strong and stay the fuck away from porn!