One day clean again. Last Monday I talked about my porn addiction to my church small group. I feel a lot better about myself because of it. They were all very accepting of it. It was absolutely terrifying to do in the moment and I felt good afterwords. I have decided to try to learn to play guitar and even though I am absolutely terrible at playing it right now. It is actually really fun to do something that requires dexterity.
Latest update: Day 75 - Faced difficulties walking through the winding paths of Emyn Muil. A fallen brother named Gollum offered help and guidance. He doesn´t seem reliable but he knows the way out of the maze
Day 156. @Alex_Al this is exciting! I had hoped you hadn't left the forum before finishing the last sprint! It will be encouraging to us all to see someone at the top of the list.
day 6: an Urak-Hai again! @RiseToGreatness Last time i made it to a hobbit. So hopefully i will get there this time too.
Day 2 Feeling really depressed as hell yet happy I hope I will make a good streak this time.. Guys and girls be careful while using nofap. Always use it on incognito mode if you don't want anyone know about your PMO history.. Sometimes I forget to use incognito and delete my history but that is something you should avoid.. If you are not comfortable with people knowing that you are an addict I just read about a brother whose wife found out about his addiction.. That is why this though popped in.. It is good to share your struggles with your SO but most of the times people don't understand and people can't put themselves in our shoes and see our perspective.. So stay safe.. Anyways today I was feeling very depressed.. Problems in my personal life are healing.. No emotional triggers. I am talking break from all toxicity - friends, uni mates, etc etc.. My health and well being comes first. I am feeling internally very happy It is just this addicting thing bringing me down... I dream if reaching 30 days and writing about a success story.. My my dopamine =motivation, drive is messed up.. I cannot even write a tweet.. Earlier I used to be so active on twitter with deep intellectual debates etc.. Right now I seemed to loose enthusiasm and drive for everything.. And this isnt internal problem it is this dopamine thing. Messing up.. Hopefully will be more active from tomarrow
amazing brother. yes, it´s always better to tell the truth to her, because this is a real issue, and probably partners suspect that something is wrong because our behaviour is unstable. now, don´t turn her into an AP, because she is too involved to be objective (tecnically PMO is cheating). just tell her that you´re on recovery
you found the problem. now fix it. the addiction always gives some signs when it´s about to strike. it can be a subtle lowering of defenses, a slight interest in peaking, a dwelling in porn thoughts... etc. but the pre-relapse signs are there. whenever you see them, take action, because you´re on the path to doom.
i want to add that whoever reachs white wizard rank, will always be so . his name will always be on the top rank and will never downgraded, even if collapse occurs afterwards. this is because someone who stood 500 days (1 year and 4 months +) in sobriety, have develop all the necessary tools to live the rest of his life sober. That is White Wizard rank