I am one day clean again and in an hour I will be two days clean. There is no room in my life for worshiping God and using porn. The porn has to go and so that will be my last relapse. No more porn.
Day 10 I had some dreams again that I relapsed, it's nerve-wracking but at the same time, it shows me that this is really really important to me. Happy to be 10 days in honestly. It felt longer this time but that's okay, not every journey is the same. Can't wait to get to Hobbiton Hope y'all are having a great weekend <3
Day 1 Another filthy orc joins the ranks of the fellowship.Right after a relapse yeasterday but motivated like never before
Day 19 fellas Here are some wise words from universal man : (which I have edited) Greetings Conqueror, One of the most frustrating cycles I've faced on the battlefield of the will is that late-afternoon/evening realization that you didn't get nearly as much done as you wanted to for the day. Often this would hit when I was elbow deep in some junk food, eyes stinging from staring at a screen, and brain fried from escapism and NOT from any sort of productive effort. Back when I was really a mess, this would just drive me DEEPER into escapism - maybe needing to turn to something like p*rn in order to take the edge of frustration off. The best you can do at this point is to try to learn from your mistakes and set plans to do better next time (see my Metascript Method on how to do this). In the process of doing this, I found that things tended to turn south when I felt like I "needed a break". A "break" for the modern person tends to mean "I want some low-value dopamine stimulation." After doing a bit of work, I almost ALWAYS felt like I needed this. Sometimes, I felt like I needed this as soon as I woke up because I was already stressed! This meant it was time to click some social media, internet surfing, videogames, or whatever it is I felt would feed my neurochemical sweet tooth. For an embarrassingly long time, I couldn't seem to figure out why my days kept disappearing in an escapist haze... Until I realized that my "breaks" weren't actually BREAKS! A break should recharge you. It should rejuvenate you to the point where you feel like you are ready to go back into productive action. But "dopaminergic escapes" don't do that - they actually drain you FURTHER. Basically I was always caught in the cycle of feeling like I needed a break from my "break"! I realized that the next key to my discipline was to actually focus on being disciplined with RELAXATION. Instead of trying to figure out how to make sure I forced myself to work harder... I actually just needed to be better at doing the things that rejuvenated, centered, and focused me rather than doing the things that stimulated but ultimately drained me. So here are some simple things that you can use to replace your BS anti-breaks: - Nutritious Meals - 10 Minute Walks - Stretching - Quietly sitting and sipping coffee while staring out a window thinking - Exercise - Doing a menial chore you don't mind If your work is more physically oriented, then you could potentially even throw in more mentally stimulating stuff like reading. The key is to make sure it's something that you'll naturally "be done with" after a bit of time... instead of something that has you reaching for one more scroll, one more game, one more episode etc. This is very different from a lot of electronic stimulation that you'll have to force yourself off of because the infinite novelty will keep your brain wanting to click. Keep winning, Mark "Commander Q" Queppet Good luck to me as well as other fellas trying to implement these
Day 13, had a a dream where I had relapsed only to wake up and find out that I hadn't. That kept me irritated for the better part of the day but once i was occupied, the thoughts went away. All in all, an unproductive Sunday but very much in control.
good evening my friends good to see the thread running good. i hope all the challengers are going well and in a good pace towards Amon Amarth. i´m back my brothers and sisters, feeling 100% stable like i needed to. what i actually lack all this time was being 100% commited to the reboot, to put the reboot in top priority in my life, like i did before. once that become crystal clear to me, here i am i will not read all the posts before this one, sorry , so i will update the challengers as they will post from now on. so, are we doing this or what? Let´s go brave Warriors. One day at a time!! Through pain, fire and ash. ONWARD!!!!!!!!!!!
7 days again. Getting past 5 days seemed to have been the hardest. I'm back on track now to leave porn behind. I felt yesterday like my confidence came back like before the relapse. I've been here before and I know how good it feels. Keep going brothers and sisters.