Can spouses of addicts find support/advice here?

I am not an expert, so take what I say with a grain of salt. Anyway hope someone more expert than me will answer. Anyway, I think it must be something that comes from him, my ex gf didn't want me to watch porn, besides I esperimented a lot os sexual disfunctions thanks to pornography, but it didn't prevent me from doing it.Addictions are very serious, are often related with feelings someone wants to avoid, when the addiction stops you are face to face with those feelings, and it can be very unpleasant. Don't try to save him, it won't work, in my opinion a friend's advice has more chance.

 

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know how hurtful it is to wives and I’m truly ashamed of the pain I’ve put my wife through. As someone who suffered alone for years with this addiction, I also understand his frustration and despair. It is so difficult and exhausting to continue failing. You begin to believe that failure is an inevitability and that purity is impossible.

It is also hard to be in support groups. I’ve done in person support groups and I just had so much difficulty being honest because I was so ashamed. I didn’t believe anyone could help me or understand when I was in moments of obsession. We need someone we trust won’t judge us and will have compassion in our darkest moments.

It would be great if your husband could come here and join since it is anonymous. He could join an Accountability Group and I’d be willing to be his partner if he is open. I’m 36 and married for 12 years.

 

My (now)ex refused to choose his family over himself. We are shattered now. I know some recover. But few.

 

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. I'm glad to hear you were invited to a support group. Unfortunately, from what I've seen in this area of life, with this addiction being so strong and so many addicts just not illing to turn from it, if he won't do it himself, he won't do it at all. It took me a long time to get serious about recovery. I had to see hurt and pain in my wife's eyes as she listened to my lies until I finally had enough and realized how selfish I was being and that she wouldn't stick around forever. Now I'm in the 12 step SA group and in weekly CSAT therapy sessions. You can journal and let him read it, you can tell him how it makes you feel, but the ugly truth is that if he doesn't make a daily decision to give that crap up and choose his family over his "drug" of choice, there's not many options I can see that you have.

I'm so sorry. I hope things get better and he sees what this is doing to him, but more importantly to his family.