Hello everyone, I’m struggling right now and would like to share my journey so far and would appreciate advice from others thanks! I started nonut (Pmo mode) January 9th and went until 27th until I relapsed. I felt great right on that 3rd week right before I relapsed. I was so ashamed and depressed that I had pmo again, all my happiness and clarity had left me, I started over and went another 2 weeks of no nut (pmo mode) until I transferred to NoFap (pm mode) when I got back together with my ex. I felt fine after having a natural O without PM. I felt good for a week or so continuing NoFap until I hit what I believe to be a flatline. I haven’t P or m for 29 days now, and have been actively been having sex with my girlfriend. I am currently experiencing hollow depression and I am hoping its a flatline that I am fighting to overcome. But this leads to my next question, last night, I shameful thought of another girl during sex, I felt terrible about it but now am worried that it activated those chemicals from P and M since I was fantasizing briefly, is this true or am I just overthinking? I appreciate all responses
Hey mate, well done for making it to 29 days. Honestly I wouldn't worry about it too much, we ultimately cannot control our thoughts and just coming back to the moment is something that helps me, which I do via conscious breathing. These thoughts coming up are not surprising and fantasising briefly isn't an issue. Yes this may be the case if you deliberately thought these things for an extended period of time may not be beneficial, but no, having these thoughts pop up is not harmful! Well done mate keep it going, I wish you all the best )
Thanks man I really appreciate it, a response like this is what is pushing me forward! Are you currently on nofap or nonut?
Congratulations for arriving to the 29th day. Sexual thoughts are not a problem, because they are necessary
I wouldn't worry about it too much. Despite what we like to think, the mind / thoughts are pretty much not in our control. So you really shouldn't beat yourself up for a thought or even a short little fantasy that crossed your mind. A lot of sex has to do with the mind. Of course, being a recovering addict, it might have been your neurological pathways trying to make things a little more exciting during sex, but it definitely didn't activate the same dopamine rush you would have gotten through watching P. I would say forget about it, but be aware of it if it occurs again and just try not to lose yourself in it. You can't stop thoughts and mental images from occurring, but you do not have to entertain them. Worst you could do right now is make a big deal out of it, beat yourself up, feel guilty, ashamed, etc. Ironically, this can lead right back to pmo in an unconscious attempt to get rid of those feelings. The vicious circle of addiction. So, instead of being worried about chemicals being activated, be aware of negative emotions being activated.
Thank you very much for this response! I’m honestly still feeling my some depression and brain fog after a O even tho I’m not doing p or m. I’m hoping overtime I can get my brain to rewire just avoiding P&M
