The Importance of Discomfort

Discomfort. We all know it, we all used to avoid it like the plague. The reason that I say used to is because we're all undergoing this nofap challenge and nofap is a form of discomfort. I wouldn't characterize it as pain, but it's about as close as you can get. When you're fighting through an urge, you feel anxiety. Restlessness. Indecision. Most likely you're feeling boredom as well because if you weren't feeling bored these urges wouldn't pop up. At least for me, boredom is my main trigger and it's something I constantly fight against.

For a lot of people, I believe although I've never asked, boredom is more or less one of the main roots of the problem of PMO.

Another main root is a lack of confidence in yourself and your abilities as a person.

I'm just writing off the top of my head, there probably are a lot more roots to the jerking off problem, but these are the ones that affect/affected me and so I'll focus on them.

In short, whenever you're bored or you feel bad about yourself, you jerk off. Or used to jerk off. Now, however, you realize that jerking off to porn is detrimental to the problem and the solution to it is no longer working. Jerking off to porn no longer masks the feeling of shame/disgust you feel with your life and so you vowed to quit.

Being extremely motivated you make it past the first few days. You feel great about yourself, "This new life improvement strategy is fantastic!", you think.

Then the urges hit. You feel uncomfortable. Remember the times when jerking off made you feel good? Our brains are douche-bags. You completely forget all the pain that comes with jerking off. Then as soon as you do, it all comes rushing back. You feel inadequate. It sucks. You vow to quit again. Cycle repeats.

The reason that not a lot of people do quit for good is because they think that by fighting fire with fire you can beat it. They think that all you have to do is stay motivated and fight against every urge that you get is a viable option. It's not. Just like you can't run all the time, you can't always be motivated and on your guard 24/7. It doesn't work. Eventually you'll have an off day or something happens that throws you off. And that fucks you up so you jerk off and binge.

Getting back to the title, discomfort. Embrace your urges. Realize that it's going to be difficult to get through them. Roll with the punches. Every urge is just a feeling and every time you don't jerk off when you feel an urge, slowly your brain reverts to default status and doesn't reinforce the cause and effect of, "Feel an urge, jerk off, feel good."

But anything worth doing isn't going to be a complete picnic. There will be weeks of hell and weeks of bliss.

It will be a journey. And along the way you will start to realize that discomfort is just a feeling that will pass. Eventually, you'll understand the necessity of it. Being uncomfortable lets you grow. It pushes your comfort zone into newer and greater heights. Try to understand that every feeling of discomfort is not a knife of discomfort, but a tool for building.

I'll make the analogy to cold showers. In the beginning, they suck. They're freezing, there's no rush of warmth, and it paralyzes your every muscle. But then you kind of learn that, hey these actually aren't too bad. Being cold is just a feeling and yes, usually when you're cold it's in your best interest to find somewhere that's warmer so that you don't die. But five minutes in a shower won't kill you. And you start to realize that yes, your body gives you information via your nerves. But all that is is information. You may choose to obey that information if it's beneficial, but ultimately it's your choice. You're not prey to your senses every whim.

And after a while, you actually start to like the showers. They give you a rush and make you feel alive. It's fantastic. Still uncomfortable, sure, but fantastic in the sense that what you get from the experience is more than what you've endured. It's a sense of freedom and free will. Just because you're cold doesn't mean you need to find some way to get warmer. Just because you feel an urge doesn't necessarily mean you must obey.

Discomfort. It's the secret anecdote for life that masquerades as a disease. Use it wisely