Maybe suicide is the best choice.

Maybe it isn't. You are only 15 dude. You got plenty of life ahead of you. You can make it better. Lots of people have bad teenage years. It gets easier.

 

There's an unatributed quote that goes "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle". I'm quite intrigued to find out that this kind of applies to almost everybody it seems. It is sometimes very brutal to go against one system of beliefs.

No to say that you shouldn't question things (you should) but that you can (and should) expand your horizon. And that's what teenage years are. I'm sure that from your perspective life is dark. And it surely is because that's what becoming an adult is. But one thing is to be thankful of the life you've been given and another is to have confidence in it. I know it's sounds very cliché but there's truth in this. Make the best use available to you of your teenage years. You'll have plenty of time for becoming the person you want and become someone with a purpose after that . And it begins by asking the good questions for you, opening doors for yourself.

Hope I haven't been to cryptic. Wish you the best .

 

It sounds to me like you have a wicked case of depression. You should open up to someone you trust about these feelings. It's possible you have situational depression due to masturbation - but I suspect that if it is situational depression there's more to it than that. It's also possible that you have clinical depression. Clinical depression requires medication and therapy to cope with. I, myself, have a mental illness. It's nothing to be ashamed of but you do need to open up and get help. Regardless of whether you need medication or not, I think you would benefit from therapy. Talk to your primary care doctor if you can or a trusted adult. These feelings aren't normal and there's no reason to live with them.

Also, don't listen to the guy telling you school isn't important. It is important. I dropped out of school and it's one of the decisions I regret most bitterly. You can get a job without going to school - it just wont be a good job.

Anyway, I hope you find the light at the end of your tunnel.

Peace,
Jarvy

 

I know how hard it can get and how hopeless we become, but take a look at this man. He spent his life since the 50s in this machine.. He could have simply gave up, just think about the possibilities of being loved, creating a family etc, would be close to 0 if not 0. Yet he kept going, insane.

 

Congrats on 32 Days!

 

Thank you man

 

I have to ask, why did you choose your avatar? lol

 

Because I kinda like it!

 

NO!!! I am athiest too, the rest of my family is religious!
NO!!!

 

It is fine to have doubts about religion, even god encourages you to ask questions. It seems illogical just to do something that forces you to do something because it said so somewhere right? But in actuality, there are answers to pretty much everything religion states, and of course a lot of the time, it's not up to people like your brother to answer those questions, hell even I sometimes can't answer some questions. Your brother might be worried that you're straying to the wrong path, but from what you said, your brother may not be the person to ask if he lashed out like that, there are genuine people like scholars you can ask questions to on so many websites. This is very normal and saddening and happens to a lot of people who just genuinely want their questions answered.

Even I was atheist for 2 whole years, imagine that. I was faking prayers and everything because I was scared of conflict of interest, just because I was asking the wrong people. Then I came to realisation, and I thank god that it was self realisation. Of course, you are a man of your own decisions, so it is up to you to decide everything. It's sad what your brother did, I recommend you confront him about it and tell him you were just asking. He definitely should not have reacted like that.

 

oh haha.

I chose this avatar because drinking bleach is obviously stupid so I thought the idea of chocolate bleach was rather funny.

I'm glad

 

Just, please hold on buddy, I am literally crying at the thought of you leaving, and I don't even KNOW you!

 

I snapshotted it for my girlfriend, she was like "oh boy".