How to remove obsession of having a partner?

Deleted Account · Jun 12, 2021

well. I'd suggest going out and dating a few women. Nothing serious just a casual thing. You want to develop yourself socially to the point where you have an abundance mentality in regards to dating. You might also want to develop yourself by looking into different hobbies and interests, perhaps things that are more outgoing and allow you to socialise with other people.

DiegoSR · Jun 14, 2021

Wendigo Overlord said: ↑

I'd suggest going out and dating a few women. Nothing serious just a casual thing. You want to develop yourself socially to the point where you have an abundance mentality in regards to dating
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This is good! The aim here is to try to step outside your comfort zone right?
Go in a public place, a shopping center or something, and start a conversation with somebody you never met and you probably won't meet again. Speak to a girl, try to have a conversation
For me that helped a lot!

cresyhorse · Jun 15, 2021

LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself said: ↑

Just a few thoughts. Use them if they seem right. If not, no biggie.

I was like that as a teen and into my 20s.

But the thing that I couldn't have understood at that time, which is hard for most
men to believe is that having a gf/love/marriage really doesn't solve it.

The reason is because your loneliness or lack of self-esteem is an internal problem.

No woman can change that, not with her love or sex or companionship.

If you got a woman right now, what would happen is that you'd have sex with her
and discover you are still not happy. And she could be perfect, be in love, romantic, but none of that will change how you feel about yourself.

Because getting love for you right now is escapism. Some dudes drink, some play poker, some take trips to Europe, some take drugs to deal with it.

What's the answer then? The answer is you need to be with yourself and find out the root of why you feel lonely. And the reason most people are unhappy is because they were supposed to achieve something and couldn't or didn't.

I know it's all a bunch of psychobabble nonsense. But being happy with life is built from the inside to the outside, not the other way.

Like the other poster said, you need to find out your mission in life, your skills, your goals, your career, and put in the work. You exercise a lot, so you already have the discipline. Don't overlook that asset. Too many morons in America forego fitness and live in decadence, thinking it's all going to work out. It works out alright - on the operating table with a clogged up coronary artery!

And then one day, out of the blue, you will work your way up, and the self-esteem gets repaired. And she is going to find you. You won't do anything to get her.

The foundation of self-improvement is NoFap, so keep the reboot going. Hard mode.

Just my opinion, I'm 47, I've been through all that.
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Thank you for this answer, I appreciate the fact it's coming from someone who solved the problem and is giving advice, not just his theory.

happy camper · Jun 15, 2021

Ghabbbyyyy said: ↑

Hey guys,

Is there a possible way to stop fantasising about being in a relationship with a female. Like many young people here, the thoughts of having a loved one and being loved is captivating my mind both day and night. It's killing me to such an extent that my mental health is declining.

It's almost as if my mind and soul has been convinced that the only way i can experience happiness in life is if I have someone to share it with. But the thing is, the thought of marriage won't be happening anytime soon.... perhaps years..... perhaps I may never find true love.

My life has been so incredibly unfulfilling this past year, particularly these last few weeks. I have no friends, a dead social life, no "meaningful" hobbies. My interests are exercising, solitude walks in the park and playing video games which are pretty bland.

Each time I go out, I feel lonely and unworthy. Maybe that is why I have been overly obsessed with finding a partner, but I have severe low self confidence that it would make it impossible to find one if I even tried.

Is there anyway to remove these excessive fantasies? Thanks
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You are who you've been looking for

Continue to work on yourself and become the best version of yourself that you know you can be.

Deleted Account · Jun 15, 2021

Ghabbbyyyy said: ↑

Hey guys,

Is there a possible way to stop fantasising about being in a relationship with a female. Like many young people here, the thoughts of having a loved one and being loved is captivating my mind both day and night. It's killing me to such an extent that my mental health is declining.

It's almost as if my mind and soul has been convinced that the only way i can experience happiness in life is if I have someone to share it with. But the thing is, the thought of marriage won't be happening anytime soon.... perhaps years..... perhaps I may never find true love.

My life has been so incredibly unfulfilling this past year, particularly these last few weeks. I have no friends, a dead social life, no "meaningful" hobbies. My interests are exercising, solitude walks in the park and playing video games which are pretty bland.

Each time I go out, I feel lonely and unworthy. Maybe that is why I have been overly obsessed with finding a partner, but I have severe low self confidence that it would make it impossible to find one if I even tried.

Is there anyway to remove these excessive fantasies? Thanks
Click to expand...

Your never going to stop thinking about having a partner. Your body wants to reproduce and spread it’s offspring to the person your attracted to (based on your sexuality). It’s a fantasy to think you can turn off your sex drive whenever you want.

You either get so busy with work that you try to forget about finding a partner or you have multiple hobbies to pursue to fill up your free time.

TheLightOne · Jun 15, 2021

What you are trying to do is to use a girl to cover your fear.

Well.. im kinda simular yet i dont want to spend time with ppl. I dont crave to get friends. I just do my own shit.

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