There is this colleague at work and she is so hot. We talked 2-3 times but nothing really special. So we barely know something about each other. But when I see her, I can feel my heart beating faster and get urges. Normally, I would grab my balls, ask her out on a date and probably get rejected. But the thing is, I am married and I want to stay married. So I need this girl to get out of my mind fast and effective if possible. But how? Ask her out and get my rejection? My mind would probably say afterwards "she's a bitch anyway". Or just ignore her completely? Like christian boys 200 years ago feeling ashamed to even look her in the eyes? Or should I try to have a normal conversation with her, so my brain doesn't objectify her anymore and recognizes her as a normal human being? I really appreciate your help.
Surely the last part?? Sounds like you already know the answer lol and if you’re married surely not a good plan to be asking someone out…does she know you’re married?
It could be that we like each other and then feelings get hurt. That's why eventually ignoring her could be the better solution. But then again there will always be women who I'll find attractive, probably can't ignore them all... But it's about asking her out AND get rejected. But yeah that sounds crazy. I don't know if she knows. I'm always wearing my ring and most women notice it.
Work relationships are not a good place to be, more so if you are already committed. When you feel something for her, try thinking into something intimate, ... like she taking a dump on the floor. If you have barely talked to her, you don't like her. You like the fantasy of her.
Thats true. So I have to eliminate the fantasy of her, maybe with that dump on the floor thing. Or by taking away the space for fantasy and have normal conversations with her. Thx for your feedback, I'll keep you updated.
You having such feelings means your marriage should be thoroughly examined. It is lacking excitement and you are trying to get it from somewhere else. My advice is to ask God to help you improve your marriage. And to become a better man with a stronger will
Been together with my wife more than 8 years, so the excitement (in bed) is not like in the beginning, which is ok. But we truly love each other and there is still romance. I think the less I watch p, more fantasies with other women come to my mind, so thats how the monkey in my head tries to compensate the lack of p.
You have to conciously stop yourself. Stop expecting for some magic to happen. Women are attracted to married guys I'm not gonna lie to you. You have the power. It's your choice whether or not to abuse it.
of course you should ignore her. Asking her out is a terrible idea, unless you want your marriage to end. And talking to her more could put you off her, but is just as likely to make you like her all the more. I suggest you take some time off work, have a second honeymoon with your wife. If you don't have any money, just stay in bed
No. Just no. Someone who consistently obsess about others isn't in love, come on. You are comfortable and enjoy your wife, thats another thing. My husband slept with his coworker and I was like "but he still loves me!" A male friend asked me, "do you really think he loves you when he did that?" I got angry, defensive. But of course he was right. Someone who loves you doesn't wanna do those things to you. Of course you can find other people attractive when you are married, but sexually obsessing about others is another animal entirely. Maybe you should discuss these things with your wife so she have the chance to do what she wanna do as well. I sure wish my husband had done that to me instead of robbing me of everything.
Update: Haven't seen that girl for more than a week and I barely thought/fantasize about her. I think it's like I stated before: the fantasies compensated the lack of P for the monkey in my head, whenever I tried to quit PMO. But this time I threw the monkey in a cage and I'm ignoring his screams. So I never really been obsessed about her, but about the idea of her (like someone stated before). The monkey will die of starvation one day.
Now try to focus on your wife and what she brings to your life, that is real not fantasy. These situations are tricky, been there myself.