P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

Definitely, PAWS symptoms are alleviated to certain degree by what you mentioned. I think it is inflammation in the body, when you brain goes through another set of changes the inflammation returns. That's what I think too.

 

Checking in

Currently at 146 days free from MO, 218 days free of porn. 1 MO relapse on day 72 (no porn)

Anyone else experience the internal body vibrations? This happens to me overnight. This can be anywhere, some people its on their chest , arms, legs etc. For me it's my chest, my heart rate is healthy same for my BP. That and my stomach has been killing me, but I believe that was caused from the fish oil I had been taking for a while, just waiting for it to filter out.

 

Well think about it. When we constantly PMO and flood our systems with dopamine we change what homeostasis is. Take that away the body is tricked into thinking it is unwell activating the immune system thus we have PAWS.

CBD seems like it might work well. Unfortunately I quit smoking weed at the same time I quit porn. I don’t really want to go back to anything cannabis based. Those were pretty difficult hooks to get out, and I want to stay away from anything pot adjacent out of an abundance of caution.

Does anyone here notice a difference in PAWS symptoms related to their diet?

 

Hey guys. I just wanted to say that regardless of what the cause of this whole season that we have to go through be it dopamine down regulation, inflammation, or the terrifying idea that guy Whysolong says as a placebo effect, this really sucks. The whole world has no idea what you are going through, but I do. The fact that every day you continue to choose to suffer and not go back to the shackles of porn addiction makes you guys some of the most impressive people I’ve ever encountered. I don’t want to come off like a cheerleader but I see you and I see your desire to be better and in my opinion your efforts are huge.

I am a Christian so you will have to forgive me if you don’t dig on that but 2 Corinthians 4:17 says something that I think applies a little bit to our situation. “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.“ Keep fighting and I will fight with you!

 

How many of you have muscle cramps and physical weakness? I feel really weak physically.

And one more thing, I think that all this hype around testosterone is pretty lame. I've had my blood test done and it comes out normal every time.

 

Yup, muscle cramps are a big thing for me, along with a profound sense of physical weakness. And here's something - it affects your heart too. I think the heart palpitations that I have are equivalent to the muscle cramps and spasms that I have pretty much anywhere in my body on a regular basis. And for context, in the past, I only ever suffered from these symptoms in the days after a PMO binge - before my health took a down-swing 2 years ago, and all this stuff became semi-permanent. This wasn't random, or correlated to mood, diet etc. It was PMO.

 

I don’t think using cannabis itself would be a good idea, because THC is psychoactive and seems like it can cause/worsen PAWS for a lot of people. But from what I’ve read isolated CBD that doesn’t contain THC can be very helpful for pain and mood disorders, but is not addictive because it’s acting at different receptors.

 

Oh I completely agree. I think CBD would probably be a great idea. My only reservations are completely personal. I love the taste and smell of marijuana. Every CBD product I’ve ever used tastes and smells like Marijuana. I’m afraid of a relapse. For me the initial withdrawal from pot was such a terrifying psychologically hell scape that I never want to go near the stuff again. I’m excited to see if CBD gives you any results though.

 

It comes down to your brain chemistry being all messed up. Messed up dopamine reward system/receptors end up creating that physical weakness. I mean hey, before all this I could deadlift 375 lbs for 3 reps, do 20 pull ups no problem, basically exercise for 1hour to 1 and half hours every other day. Now, I'm basically doing stretch exercises and some very low rep body weight training with some short walks/stationary bike. The important thing is, start where you can with training and gradually work your way up week to week. This can be, just stretching at first, with some walking and then when its easier add very low weights. All this to help promote a healthier brain. Of course meditation on the daily too.

The issue arrives when you have people who just wait for things to get better without putting in any effort to gradually do things at their pace and incrementally increase. Now again, your pace might be just walking for 1 minute at first. I mean, the first week I was in this hell I did 20 seconds on a stationary bike.That was what my body could tolerate, but I still did that and kept increasing as I could. I personally think this is why certain people claim to be in PAWS for over 2 years with ZERO improvement. That or they edge, relapse etc. I also think hard mode is required to heal. In all PAWS related reference guides, a healthy diet, meditation and a healthy level of exercise promote well being and assist in recovery.

In no way do I say that its easy, but it is necessary in my opinion.

 

This is my observation as I enter the 20+ month phase: it's similar to the end of a car ride. The first 11 hours go by much, much, much faster than the last 1 or 2. Time is inching by because I'm watching the clock, in a sense.

Also I feel anxiety about how long it will truly take. Will it be 24 months? Will it take longer?

I'm also at a point where I don't really care about minor changes. I want the whole thing now. I want it all to be over. There are no more small victories, I'll only be happy with the whole shebang.

Also want to add that things have been even more difficult, if anything, these past couple months.

 

We are in the same boat brother. The only choice we have is to keep on going. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, because it will all be worth it.

I will leave you with a short comment written by a guy that went through a brutal 2 year flatline:

«Everyone who is on this path and are facing withdrawals, listen to me: Keep going. This shit is real, and I would go through that flatline again a thousand times to get to this point and have this feeling that I’m experiencing daily»

 

Approaching 24 months, I'm experiencing very bad symptoms again after some good months: joint pain, weakness, flu-like symptoms, panic attacks, ectopic beats, sleep apnea, tinitus, hypersensitivity to sound, nausea, depression, anxiety, indigestion, alienation.

I thought I had overcome all of that, but it's back. Only sleep is still good after my insomnia issues from 1 or 2 years ago (thank God). Already 10 days back into hell. I hope it'll get better again soon. Damn it!

 

Addendum: for the last 6 months I'm able to sleep on my left side again. Previously my heart would do weird things if I lie on my left side.

 

Sleep is the only thing that really got better for me but it's still not optimal. I also think sleep is the last thing that resolves itself and it's also the reason we feel bad on so many days. On my good days throughout his whole process I always had a good night of relaxed sleep before.

Keeping a good sleep hygene is also pretty essential to not feel extremely bad while being in PAWS. Unfortunately I'm doing not good in that area in the last few weeks. Sometimes it's just very hard to just fall asleep, especially when its the warm time of the year.

 

Yeah, I experience this. As I understand it sleeping on your left side places pressure on the heart because of the extra body mass lying on top of it in that position. That shouldn't be a problem in a "normal" / healthy person, but if your heart is prone to arrhythmias and generally beats more erratically because of excessive PMO / PAWS, as it does with me, then lying on my left can cause it to beat erratically, or to cause pain. The problem with lying on your right side though, is gastric discomfort - at least for me.

 

Exactly, that's the reason. In fact I injured my right shoulder because for a long time I could only sleep on my right side. Fortunately that is better now.

But last night I woke up in panic at 3:20am, thinking I was being poked from underneath, through the mattress, and then I was afraid it was Satan. Really crazy stuff. I started walking around the house and the fear wouldn't go away. I could only fall asleep again around 6am. This is what I used to experience 2 years ago when I started my reboot and I thought it was not going to happen again, but I was wrong.

They say benzo withdrawals can last for years and I suspect it can be similar with PMO addiction. But I am convinced this is part of my recovery, altho sometimes I wonder if I am losing my mind.

 

Nah I've had similar experiences recently. One night I woke up because I thought a rat was gnawing on my hand. I recoiled so hard that I fell out of my bed and slammed by back against the banister that's next to it.

Another night I thought there was a horse that had somehow made it's way up to my bedroom. This doesn't sound that evil, but I've always been scared of the power and unpredictability of horses. They frighten the fuck out of me, and in that moment I thought it was going to either kick me in the face or start biting the shit out of me. I stood up from my bed and started running down the stairs, and was convicned of the reality of the situation for a solid minute or two.

So yeah, you're not losing your mind. This shit is so fucking sinister that I'm continually blown away by what it has done to me.

I'm also so fucking scared of what it will do to me in the future, especially after hearing your story and how this happening to you at the 24 month mark. Please keep us filled in on what happens to you in the coming months, because you're the first I've encountered who is experiencing these satanic hallucinations.

Someone posted a list of PAWs symptoms caused by alcohol and drugs, and one of the "severe" symptoms was hallucinations, so that kind of makes sense, though you wouldn't think they'd occur this late in the reboot.

Maybe it just means our brain is healing the deepest part of the wound. That's the only way I can make sense of any of this fantastical bullshit absurdity.

 

Used to have this kind of fear happened a lot in nofap days. I used to wake up with anxiety attacks in the middle of the night thinking I was going to die. What help a bit is Drinking Some Water.

 

I've experienced those hallucinations as well. In fact, I've got more actions in term of getting women, having money than real life. I thought it was real, then 3 to 5 minutes after I realized it was all dreams.

 

You can’t make up the shit I‘m dreaming. It’s the most absurd stuff that you could ever dream of. There is definitely a correlation between all our sleep problems and weird dreams