I passed Day 5 guys. More motivated in other aspects of my life too. Doing things at the beginning time in my routine. Hooray! What helped Sleep! No Caffeine! Less or no meat! Chilling with a friend and getting some much needed release and feeling of connection and meaning Making space and time for self-care and converting my feelings from negative to positive+productive Difficulties I encountered Criticisms from loved ones about weight, appearance, grooming, career/education shortcomings
Relapsed. Day 0. I'm going to take the loss and move forward with new knowledge. This is an experiment. I will get there as others have gotten to sobriety. What led to relapse Sleep Schedule sleep deprivation bad sleep schedule and being awake at night, lonely, nothing to do have to fix up room for sleeping trying to stay up for 24-48 hours to fix sleep schedule --> will power is down to nothing --> very hard to fight temptation --> even using internet for legit tasks during this time =relapse Checking out girls + Rage when rebooting, checking out girls on the street dressed in nothing causes a lot of rage and on reboot there is no real outlet for it. gotta stay away from them. rage spirals into anger/bitterness about life circumstances, negatives about romantic relationships, lack of romantic relationships --> blame game. be in sunlight, eat yoghurt, and sleep well. What was good I displayed quite a bit of control and the focusme app blocking internet and delayed acting out for like 10 hours. If I went to sleep or something I probably would have been ok. I reached out to my counsellor and accountability buddy before relapsing. I was conscious enough while wanting to act out to do something to try to stop the relapse. Lessons learned after talking with friend When will power is low - Have list of reminders, triggers, written out and accessible, in wallet, on paper, in phone etc. So u dont need recall memory to access Use a tracker so you can see big picture of acting out (%age of days acted out vs not acting out), also tracks other habits that can correlate with sobriety/acting out. Depend on library computer vs family member computers when needing unfiltered internet - until you have this under control
12 days to go . best of luck guys , our goal is far beyond this . 14 days challenge is one of the biggest wall and toughest wall. we can overcome this .