hello, i am a bit (correction : A LOT) tired, and almost going to bed. so i apologise for the incoming rant, put on some soft rock 70's music () and come along for this short reading journey if you dare.... where to start ? i have not fapped since 8 days ago so that's good ! HOWEVER : my needs of touch have not been met recently... i am ok with the fact i am twenty three years old and still virgin... i am ok with that actually and even kind of proud ! (it's just a bit sad that the probability of getting a virgin lover might be lower with time), never kissed a girl's lips... i miss being with a girl and feeling the warmth of her body next to mine... though the temperature is hot, i feel so cold deep in my soul... i have walked a lot today, and feeling lonely, even with my family i could hardly focus on something else other than 1/ either the good looking girls around (thank God for Beauty !) or 2/the fact that i am single and is not getting any physical love. because even though i love hugs, we are not very "physical touch" people in my family including myself... tonight i just don't want to relapse, i don't need porn or the substitute of warmth (masturbation) in my life... i need real physical connection and love... i need to reach 100 days on my counter to see if it is worth it, if another way is ever possible, because it is, there is always another way... the reason WHY i am on this nofap journey is this one : i don't want girls, and women to look like genitals with a body in my mind (no more objectification through porn), and i don't to go to the path that leads to porn as far as i am concerned (which is masturbation), and finally i need my masculine energy !!! i want someone in my arms... i need a hug, please... PS : have i mentioned that i am meeting no girls in order to focus on other goals right now, like being reliable and having a fit body ? yes maybe this makes it worse does it ? PS2 : please future me, tell me how you handled this second week of "normal mode", i need feedback !
I feel you man ...im a virgin too . And sometimes i also need a hug ,i need it so bad . I recognize myself in your words when you say that you walked a lot today . Sometimes i walk alone in the night during hours ,no joke i feel so lonely sometimes . God be with you .
thank you ! walking in the night, i have tried, if there is no music in my ears when i do that, or if my brain is not focused it is not a good idea... when listening to good music it can be a nice walk !
yes finding love is a game... but i am changing my perspectives on love... last year i realised that i do not know what to expect from a girl that i should love, who should live with me... you know. i don't want to punish myself if i am not able to find love, that is okay... i feel better than in may (after being broken hearted because of a failed attempt at a relationship), before i started this nofap journey... but i don't think i would be able to focus on the right things if i tried to start a relationship... do you see something i might be missing to understand that ? is there even something to look for when looking for a girl to love ?
Your post reflects a very blue pilled mindset - an unreasonable set of attachments to and expectations of women. It's normal and it needs to be outgrown. Take the red pill. Listen to what Rollo has to say. Richard Cooper is good too. Are you chasing excellence or are you chasing women? If you haven't ever considered the question you should. Odds are you can't tell because you are clouding your mind with porn. Mark Queppet's channel can help with that. This is the closest I can get to giving you a hug. Take the red pill.
@silex_jedi Your words express what I feel even as I am much older than you. I am not in a relationship but trying to meet new people (Okay women.) Last night I was out with a woman my age (about 59) ...platonic, got a hug. Just talking with her was great. We were at a restaurant and our server was this beautiful charming young lady. I did not get her name. I have not enjoyed myself this much in months. If I had to give you advice, I might tell you to engage in group activities (Covid restrictions not withstanding.) For example, I just started taking group dance lessons. Do not underestimate the power of simply holding hands.
thank you, 1/ for reminding i need to watch the Matrix 2/ for the "Are you chasing excellence or are you chasing women?", it has not been considered before 2021 (and i am 23) because as you mentioned : wrong expectations of women due to porn, music and movies, there but here is my answer : i used to think i needed a partner, now i am not so sure... what is sure is that i have never been a leader, a man driven by his convictions, but i would let people have opinions and follow their, even though i disagree with things in this world. so right now excellence is the way. but it is very recent mindset, not deeply rooted in my belief system thank you i will check it out then
once i can trust my intentions towards girls, for sure i will consider it ! thank you, have a nice day !
Hello silex_jedi, I've been there. I feel really alone sometimes too, sleeping alone for years on end. I'm sending you a hug, and I know that one day we will get to the point where we want to be! God Bless.
thanks, yes, hope is what and have to carry us all the way through, so there is no reason to give up. there are reasons, but who wants to be the villain of the story of life ?
Hello, young squire. Loving the lyrics: "And the moment when you wander far from me I want to feel you in my arms again." Thanks for posting this. This was a bitch of a weekend for me, too re: loneliness, or Jeez, wanting to be touched. No luck. Some nice Snapchat connections, though. To your future self: You just put up with it, as well must put up with whatever can't be changed. And keep asking women out. And you share here. And don't masturbate/look at porn. I just figure it won't kill me not to be touched. Also, if you want a hug, ask for one! Works for me. Had a great one two weeks ago at an art gallery opening, was talking to this beautiful, curvy latina woman. Finally I just said "You have a really beautiful figure! May I please have a hug?" Which may sound simpy, but right into my arms she came, her belly touching my belly, her breasts crushed against my chest. Wow! Electric. Last week, at a club, same thing - woman right into my arms, no perving, nothing but two people being close, no sex required. "Wow! You give great hugs!" she said when we came apart. One day it'll be more than that, but right now, full speed ahead on other shit. I also asked the beautiful woman at the bike shop out. She smiled and lit up when I told her she was beautiful, but she took me outside so we could talk and she said "I'm sorry, I am a longterm relationship. But keep coming back. I love you." Meaning I always go in there and make her laugh. I think. !!!! I came back the next day with a chocolate square for her for being so nice to me. Life is good. Also, the yummy ones usually have a BF. But I'm glad I asked. She sure is cute. Also- One day, you'll remember when you were free, when you could come and go as you please, when you could do anything you want Friday and Saturday night, or nothing. Plus women cost money. So save money.
indeed we are ! thanks day 29 but i am only barely seeing good results today, even though i feel better !
Me too. Its been a week since I have been bombarded with lonely thoughts and feelings. Every morning I wake up promising myself that its going to be better today. I even do some exercise and meditation to get myself in a good mood but that only lasts for an hour or so before I get back into the same pattern again. Its comforting to know that I am not the only one and just getting things off my chest by typing it here really helps, even if its a little bit.
