14 days Tomorrow I'll become a hobbit. I'm gonna make it for sure because I will have a bunch of work, so I can keep myself busy.
very good bro, thank you, i also thought that you were minimizing the problem. well, ironically, i don´t think masturbation is the problem here, masturbation as a solo act, no. masturbation to porn, yes, that´s incredibly dangerous. the problem is for most people, the link between porn and masturbation is super entwined, like 2 faces of a coin. so for the sake of things, it´s better to get rid of both. plus masturbation drains the body and mind of vitality, it´s not a good behaviour. but i find in your words, a little safety about the "no porn" streak, but truth is you´re only 2 months sober from erotica, so the addiction is still very alive. bear in mind, in a basic level, erotica is still high stimulation, it doesn´t matter if society see it as "a lesser evil". If we´re not careful porn subs can easily hijack us, and activate the porn dopamine receptors that we have. so i think you should be alert on all levels, masturbation and lustful content. althought on the most explicit one (hardcore) you´re doing a great job. Keep going!!
don´t beat yourself up bro , in the beginning is always hard. so do your best, improve each time you slip, or each time you feel close to slip
Try to calm yourself down bro, do meditation, go for a walk, breath, etc. first calm down, then talk to yourself. racionalization doesn´t work if you feel like a bulldozer. another very important thing is: do not feed lust in your head. as soon as you spot a lustful thought, desingage from it, come back to reality, focus on the present moment. don´t dwell in those thoughts because they will drag more thoughts of the same kind, making urges appear. another good thing is cold showers. take them daily, they will pump your blood, alertness, and reduce urges
Congratulations bro!! breathe the free air Now let´s go destroy the thing that you carry . Good luck!!!!
Checking in Fellowship Sleep more hours today, because i felt my sleep was lacking and, now, althought i feel a bit sleepy for oversleeping , i feel overall better, and with very little anxiety . Another very busy day ahead, so i´m gonna hit the grind . Before i leave, here´s my reboot read for the day, the continuation of the science behind porn addiction. Have a great day brave Companion!! . Checking out. "Your brain on porn", page 55 "Are We Really Talking About Addiction Here? Some psychologists and clinicians outside the addiction-neuroscience field claim it is a mistake to employ addiction science to understand behaviours like compulsive gambling and out of control consumption of internet pornography. They argue that addiction only makes sense when talking about substances like heroin, alcohol or nicotine. This view often finds its way into the media. But the latest research into the nature of addiction contradicts this. You may not be aware of it but addiction is perhaps the most extensively studied mental disorder. Unlike most disorders in psychiatry's bible, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5), addiction can be reproduced at will in laboratory animals. Researchers then study the causal mechanisms and resulting brain changes right down to the molecular level. For example, they have discovered that same molecular switch (protein DeltaFosB) initiates key addiction-related brain changes (and thus behaviours) in both chemical and behavioural addictions. These kinds of discoveries are the reason that addiction experts have no doubt that both behavioural and substance addictions are fundamentally one disorder. Already, some seventy brain studies on internet addicts reveal the presence of the same core brain changes seen in substance addicts. If internet use itself is potentially addictive, then obviously internet porn use is too. Indeed, in a study entitled, "Predicting compulsive Internet use: it's all about sex!" Dutch researchers found that online erotica has the highest addictive potential of all online applications (with online gaming second). This makes perfect sense because addictive drugs only cause addiction because they magnify or inhibit brain mechanisms already in place for natural rewards, such as sexual arousal. In other words, existing internet-addiction brain studies (many of which include internet porn use) already indirectly establish the addictiveness of internet porn as a matter of hard science."
Good morning, fellas! I've become a hobbit!!! And it truly means something, cuz since yesterday the urges escaleted quickly, from slight and easy to intense drives. It seems that sauron has already spotted me. I think it has something to be with the avocados I ate this week, I know they are great for provide good fats that our body use for testosterone production. Anyway, I took a cold shower just by the morning yesterday and today, and I was surprised by how it really helps us to put our head in its place. Its like throwing water into a fire. For the next days I'll try my best to avoid mindless activities like surfing the internet, which leads to fishing, which leads to pmo. I've been feeling a little bit stressed, but I'm still managing it well. I thought that I was entering the dangerous days last week, but it seems that I reached it just now, so I'm gonna keep my attention high up. The panic button will get tired of me hahahah. Good luck for us all! LEZ DESTROY THAT DAMN RING! PS.: I liked a lot the recommendation from @ListenPaul, so here's mine: beowulf - today is a gift (back on Spotify!) - YouTube It's tottaly connected with the advice from @RiseToGreatness of living each day by a time!
Day 1 If I can become a hobbit I will be thrilled. Reading the Hobbit now and will follow it with the LOTR books.
75 days – You face difficulties walking though the razor-sharp winding paths of Emyn Muil. A fallen brother named Gollum offers help and guidance. He doesn´t seem reliable but he knows the way out of the maze, so you decide to follow him.
A day of mixed feelings and unstable emotional mood, interrupted sleep(woke up 1.30 am because of bad dreams surprisingly they weren't wet, the feeling was like if you are all stoned and can't move) but with more energy than yesterday.
daily checking in Don't worry you are lefting the pmo, like members of the fellowship said avoid the binge section and you will recover more fast.
Day 8 - Relapsed - Back to Day 0 I somehow accidentally figured out how to bypass my phones blocker which gave me the biggest urge ever. I think not relying on my blocker in the future as a mental barrier will be beneficial but at the moment I'm just really upset with myself. For some reason this relapse in particular has made me really scared if I'll ever actually escape this addiction. I mean sure I've had many many life improvements this year outside of my addiction since discovering my addiction. But in terms of actually how much I'm improving with my addiction, I'm not really improving at all. I keep thinking I've figured it out and this streak will be different because of this or that but my longest streak was 9 days and that was back in fucking February, I've been trying for nearly a year now and that's genuinely fucking scary how little progress I've made in that amount of time. I'm just really scared now and I'm starting to doubt if I'll ever actually get better.
Checking in. All good. More urges now, but practicing the habit of noticing the urges, realizing that I might always be addicted but I can choose not to feed that addict mind with fantasizing. Observing the thought, and letting it go, redirecting the mind toward my goals instead.
I reset last night, and again this afternoon. This in spite of the great and uplifting things I read here. Totally my fault. I need to do some journaling and figure some of this out. I'm not staying down. I beat my last quality streak by a day. Now it is time to go much further.