Get Rid of PORN in 2021.

Thank you very much, Means a lot !!

 

So I went into an argument with my mom yesterday, It was not worth it and you cannot win an argument with your parents, they will never accept it, They feel so terrible when their son advises them on something important because parents are supposed to be right all the time and not their child, children are supposed to ask them questions and not tell them answers, I fuckin' hate that mentality. Plus they are your parents so you can't really do much about it.

Good thing is I didn't smoke, I realized there is no point in harming myself for something this stupid, I have already done so much damage, And If I keep relapsing and Smoking cigarettes every time i get into a fight with my mom, I'll damage myself heavily and my future relationships will also suffer. It's true i can't really do much about my mom, but my future wife, my children, well they are my responsibility, And If i end up addicted to smoking and drinking, Man My children will also face the same situation in which I am right now.

Considering my mom, well she's been through a lot in her life and I guess I should cut her some slack. She's mentally damaged though, Like completely gone. Our house is a ticking time bomb to be honest, I just need to find a way to diffuse it.

Relapsed yesterday, waited it out today to stay aware of the chaser effect, reset my counter minutes ago, Next couple days are gonna be tough.

Hope it works out, Peace.

 

I have plans,

Just put out my shoes for tomorrow morning and my workout clothes.
Will wake up at 5 and go for a lil' jog.

No more Smoking.
No more drinking.
No more caffeine.
No more junk food.

Wish me luck !!

 

Had an urge minutes ago, I was taking a bath, passed it somehow.

come to think of it, had an urge yesterday as well. I guess the chaser effect is still active !

Feeling scared !

 

Dude, Proper example of what consistency and discipline can do, and what indiscipline can, it's been a whole year, didn't even realize.

 

Ahhh, went for a jog this morning, Walk actually, waking up was quite the struggle.

Felt good !!

Getting ready for my day now.

 

Man these winters are tough, I mean in the morning, that blanket is so warm and soft and fluffy and fuckin comfortable that you just don't want to get out in the cold weather and do uncomfortable stuff like working out. So Difficult, It took me 40 minutes to convince myself why i should get out of my house.

Anyways, I won at the end and went out, cold air makes me uncomfortable, maybe I'll have to get used to it.

Have a big assignment to submit tomorrow, And the procrastination I've done, It is not even close to complete, I guess today is gonna be a busy one.

Also, I skipped my meditation yesterday, My skin was all dry and the clothes were so uncomfortable, I was irritated and didn't feel focused enough to meditate. Day became better afterwards though, Been talking to a girl these days, New friend, Don't know if there is a spark or not but it feels good hanging out with her. I also think that she's into me, but, I can be wrong.

 

I fuckin' hate myself !!

 

Procrastinating like crazy !! Haven't even touched the assignment !!

 

And I relapsed. So to sum up, Today sucks !!

 

In a positive mood today,

I'm growing a beard and today is maybe 4th or 5th day and this thing is painful, so itchy and uncomfortable, plus the dryness in my body makes it even worse,

I think its a good measure for my progress during nofap as well, just like the initial days during nofap are hard, it gets comfortable after some time and Man it feels good then.

it's obvious I won't be able to complete my goal for 2021 as there is only one month left, but if I can go through this month with my progress, the start of 2022 is going to be great.

Hoping to push forward through this tough time.