Checking in Fellowship!! I want to be frank with you all, you deserve no less, i got drunk on saturday at a birthday party, and now pmo withdrawal is upon me like a motherfucker . yesterday was bad, today is beyond bad. it´s almost like i have pmo´ed I need to develop to say "no" when people offer me booze, that´s an old issue of mine Anyway, i just wanted to take this off my chest, feeling better now I didn´t say this before, because i was secretly hoping that i could get away with it, but nope, here it is, withdrawal in all it´s splendour: extreme fatigue, brain fog, paranoia, anxiety, unmotivation... shit, i was feeling so much better lately Checking out my friends. Living and falling and rising again
Hey, no judge, one of my resets was due to drinking too much. So I feel your pain, man. Day 1 Things are calm right now *knock on wood*. So far I've been sticking to my new routine. I actually started reading the Harry Potter books again, and I confess without the noise coming from the youtube videos (save for the lofi), I've actually been finding it real peaceful. With me working a mentally demanding job, I actually need the quiet, so maybe this is a change I've been needing. Don't know if it'll help with the PMO problem, but I do believe it'll help me in the mental health department.
Day 67 I need to start taking my routine a lot more seriously; I’m lying in and frankly just being lazy in the mornings, leaving with just enough time to get to work. Instead I could be getting stuff done, chores, self-improvement etc, so I’m setting my alarm and hopefully getting out of bed for it tomorrow morning. Urges were fairly low today, and today marks about a year since I was most heavily using PMO, nice to see how things have changed for me mentally and spiritually. I need to start getting earlier nights so I’m clocking off now - need to start posting a little earlier in the evening!
Day 6 I am completely focusing on my career change. Although urges were mid-strong with even erection. I could safely ignore them. Yesterday night I had problems sleeping due to the anxiety and my mind keep suggesting MO, and I said NO THIS IS NOT WHY I CANNOT SLEEP AND WON'T SOLVE ANYTHING. Eventually, I fell asleep. Have a great day / night
Day 20 I've been enjoying these time in which I don't have any responsabilities, but honestly, I kinda miss my filled up routine. I have some plans of visiting a city this week, but I'll start to get ready for getting my day to day back. I know that when I don't follow a routine I end up getting in a rut. Also, I wanna use wisely this time before starting medschool. Gonna find some interesting things to learn and a part time job for getting some cash in. Had an enticing dream last night, nothing explicitly sexual, but it surely had effects over me. I'm pushing myself at maximum in my workouts, tiredness keep me away from PMO. Thanks, bro! I like kinda everything, but there are two main areas that most draw my attention: oncology (hematology, imunology, etc) and emergency (also intern medicine and intensive care)
Day 46. I took an Internet break and spent some days at a cosy small village with few friends. A lot of drinking was involved, overall a good time. I still have another weekend break this week [looking very forward to it] and yeah - there's nothing that exciting to say, unfortunately whatever is going on in the world pains me profoundly and on a very emotional level, but so far I've been strong enough to keep this urge away from me which is amazing. As I get back to work, this week will be one where I slowly regain the habits I've stopped doing - since I already considerably work a lot and that doesn't seem to have changed, I'm going to take things slowly and give myself 1-2 weeks so I can get back into it while dealing with everything that's going on. Also 4 more days and I'm a Dwarf... nice.
Checking in. I'm having a little trouble focusing on the stuff i gotta do and i've been having a lot of sexual thoughts as of now. It is weird because i thought the urges would reduce, but instead, they are coming stronger and stronger by the day 90 ahead. And i'm deeply pissed off at the media producers these days, yesterday i went to see the first episode of the Pacifier series on HBO and i was caught by surprise when a sexual scene appeared and it showed the breasts of the girl, i got so mad that the media is trying to force Pornography on me that i cancelled my subscription to HBO Max. All i wanted was to end my day with comedy and action and then they force me this kind of promiscuity! Absurd! I'll have to embrace the suck and that's about it. Strenght & Honor!
Unfortunetely, this is how they get views. Social media is based on the same stuff, but they make the very people do the porn for themselves. Only Fans is a huge example of how degenerate our society is. The way to get out of this is to only consume innofensive media, or not media at all. I started to watch only family-like series, most of them are pretty old, actually. Also, congrats for reachig this far bro! Keep going, I've already passed through some tough tempetions, you can get through these tough days!
I have noticed that HBO Max is wide higher in sexual explicit scenes. Also its children protection is very weak. Stay with Netflix and Prime Video, Disney +. Series in HBO only the very famous like Friends.
For sure, that's what i was thinking too, only family series and light comedy. Thank you for your support and congratulations on your medic school! Must have been very hard! I've noticed that too! Unfortunately Netflix has that same amount of danger! The only good ones was Prime and Disney, never seen any explicit sexual content there.
Day 380 no PMO. Good day yesterday. No urges. Headed out of town tomorrow for a family ski trip. Should be a good time.