Getting in a relationship is not a cure

I have seen it mentioned elsewhere, when a guy says if he gets in a relationship all his issues with PM go away.

I used to be one of those guys who believed that. Sure enough, when I get in a relationship, my habits do stop. I have no more urges. Unless the relationship breaks down.

However, I have come to realise, this is not a fix. Its like having a broken leg and just placing a band aid on it. Th underlying issues are still there, they are just being repressed and ignored. Then when the relationship breaks down, we go back. Fractionation kicks in.

What is fractination? It is when we alternate between two extremes, when we leave one extreme and then go back into it, we go deeper. It is used in hypnosis, if we are put in a trance, taken out of it, when we next go in, we go into a deeper trance. Hence, relapses can often result in binging. Fractination can also be used for... other things.

But yeah, sure like I say, when I get in a relationship, I cut out a lot of bad shit. However to be truly cured, the motivation needs to come from within, not from outside. Until I heal what is broken inside of me, I will never be truly healed. The broken bone needs to mend, no matter how good a band aid feels, the mending has to happen.

Also, this attitude will make us slaves to relationships and probably not the best ones we can have either. Once we heal the rot inside, we will become more attractive and have more self worth. Self worth is rare in this porn crazed world. Rare = attractive.

Healing needs to be done for ourselves. Relationships are just a side effect.

Be the best you can be. All times, not just in the presence of a partner. Do it for yourself.