The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 422

 

Day 21, trod on!

 

Day checking in:
I left this piece of song of the Lotr

 

Day 1 begins, let's rock..

 

Simply amazing man

 

Hello everyone, good to be back. Starting off day 0. Feeling down and defeated but keeping my head up

 

Day 2 complete

 

Day 4 as an Orc

 

34 days – Bree sends aid! Bill, a strong and kind pony, joins your quest by carrying rations and items.

Quest Aid – Bill, the pony

Been busy with some webinars today. Started No More Mr. Nice Guy again. This girl was staring at me on the bus... It's probably a good sign when they notice you, but I'm not ready for it either. Still kicking myself over that one girl in the mall... That was super blatant interest. Not to be too crude, but it kinda turns me on thinking about it and makes me tempted to relapse (which I won't). This shows though that maybe a certain amount of damage is being repaired if I can get excited about something so tame compared to porn.

 

Day one complete. Orc!

 

I kicked my THC habit in February, now it's time to knock down this PM habit.

 

I have finally hit day 50 (Dwarf) but it comes with bad news, I gave in yesterday lads, relapsed once (my current record is in my signature). My goal is to get to 90, and I know this is a very good streak, so I will not update the counter so that I keep the positive attitude to get to 90. I can feel the chaser effect, and even I relapse again I will set to 0. Stay strong lads!!

 

It's been a while, but recently I've started relapsing more and more often. It seems with the counter-off and without really keeping an eye on it, it slowly starts to creep its way into my life... that is why, once again, I shall retake my throne!

 

The beginning of the first day.

Yesterday after my reset, the moment my girlfriend came home she asked me if I’ve watched porn. So either she is a witch or the change is just so obvious…
But we’ve talked about it, and I was completely honest and I think that overall it showed me that I am not lost and that I am no longer the same man I was.

For me it was the internal discussion, and I think that it is even worse because of that. I realized what was happening, and it started by simply watching music videos of music I actually like but that was a bit much, and from there the fishing started and level by level I fell down into porn. I think that overly sexual music video are p-sub for me in a way they were not before.

 

I’m not sure I understand the point of the EDIT. It’s ok for you to watch porn?

 

Day 415 no PMO.

 

What all things you consider while having strong urges if going outside is not the option?

 

1st DAY DONE Successfully, resisted 3 urges, Meditation and Cold Showers

 

Good question. No, it's not ok for me to watch porn. But this is a commitment about something else. I'm not addicted to movies so it's a realistic and achievable goal. The reason for the commitment is that I want to use my time differently and change this habit.

Of course I also commit to stop watching porn. I do it actually all the time. So I think, that I need progress first before I can make a meaningful commitment relating to porn or even MO.

Do I make sense?

 

Dawn of the 26th day.