I don't know where to start given my history on this journey goes about 9years now. And I keep rising and falling. I was sort of exposed to porn by my brother and my best friends at a very young age, but before being exposed to porn, I have been exposed to knowing the things about the opposite sex since age 4. This is what I grew up, lusting towards women, both old and young, perverted to my worst imaginations. Then porn came and made it much much easier to see and fantasize about these things, but anytime I watched porn all I could think about was doing whatever it is I saw to some female out there, or wishing I was the guy in the video. I grew up with this, some years I stopped, some years I masturbated without porn. 2018-2022 has been my biggest years of consuming porn 2020 -22 i have consumed soo soo much porn. I began to take the faith seriously, so I stopped for about 4 months straight. then it became rising and falling, 4 months no porn, 1 months porn spiral, 3 months no porn, 1/2 weeks porn spiral... I still wanted a stronger relationship with God so I kept going. But it has only gotten worse, I have drawn back fully, In my attempt to stop it I have opened so many dating sites and apps to look for ladies. cause i cut off most of the girls i used to be with when I took the faith seriously.. But these sites have only managed to increase my urge and send me back to porn. Im under the impression that If i start fornicating again then I can finally drop porn. I have abandoned the faith... As I speak to you whoever is reading this now with so much shame but at the same time, I don't feel as pricked as I used to , I don't feel the sting from Gods spirit. I have lost it. And as i speak to you i still have those apps logged in and open. But i don't know what to do. Yes I struggle a lot with lust towards girls, but I've managed to not fornicate for 2years and I'm beginning to believe the devil that this is the problem. Perhaps if i begin fornicating again my porn consumption will reduce but that leaves me defiling my body again just in a different form. I can't even begin to talk bout the social damage and low self esteem this gives me. I just want to beat this and continue the fight with just lust towards girls, but isn't this what sends me back to porn.. My name is Drey and I am a porn addict
I personally wouldn't fornicate because of STIs, but I know other men who would. Some STIs, like HPV, can cause cancer. Syphilis can kill. I wouldn't be surprised if dating websites made you feel like watching porn. Some dating profiles are actually just hidden prostitutes who sell sex and porn.
I cannot say anything to you that you do not already know. We have been over this many times. Only you can decide when you will pay the price and cut off your access to all sources of P in ways you cannot easily go back on. Until you are willing to do whatever it takes to break free, you will remain trapped. It is that simple.
That’s the thing! It’s not that simple. I can cut off everything but I cannot cut off myself from the World. And as long as I’m in this world I’ll be absolutely tempted. I’ve struggled with these habits for years… that’s why when I go for months I only end up coming back! Porn is only a substitute to whatever lies beneath, to what is really in my heart (which I need to find out). I’m in this world and no matter where I go no matter what I do I’d be surrounded by girls, and as much as they don’t hold my views I’ll be tempted my many of them. In my attempt to fight these I fall back to porn. I need to figure out how to stop lusting towards ladies, how to realise that they’re human beings just like me. Besides I’ve told you this I am the only one walking this path. I’m sure almost everyone here has a community, has a church or a friend. Who is around them? Who they can speak to when they need to? I don’t have that. I walk alone
You make P sound like something you cannot escape. You are tempted and you lust and then you "fall back" to P. It only feels like a gentle falling because you have greased that pathway to the point of it being frictionless. But it is a choice, every single time. You *can* choose differently. You *can* sit still with your lust and refuse to allow it to dictate your behavior. It is very hard, but it is not impossible with Christ. You say you walk alone while you are on a web site for a community of men and women who walk alongside you. It seems to me your head is filled with many lies that you have chosen to believe. You know how to get free: Take every thought captive, run each one by the Spirit of Truth for his help in finding the lies and exchanging them for truth. You did the hard work and tasted freedom, only to cut yourself off from caring community and run back to sin when things got tough. Again, this was your choice. Now it is more difficult to get free. I will tell you the truth: It will never get easier. The time to be done with this is now.
Are you sure you walk alone? Is not the Lord with you? Is not the NoFap community with you? I know the Lord is helping me. And I've gotten a lot of help and infornation from the NoFap community via reading journals and such. Besides the Lord and NoFap community, I have nobody. My dad thinks bad sexual habits are good My brother would defend prostitution. They are both not Christians. If I can stay strong with this type of nonChristian family, I feel that you can overcome your struggle too. Maybe not overnight, but you will win.
P does not hold magical powers, nor does it have independent power. It only has the power that we give it. If we day dream of carnal pleasures and dwell on carnal images we will eventually succumb. No one's willpower is sufficient to fight continual exposure. You must flee from it at the first glance or impulse. Don't give up, Christ stands ready to help you but not on your terms. You cannot have the peace that comes from a pure heart while continuing to commit sin. You must choose and if you choose to do God's will, you must pray, frequently and sincerely, for Christ to fight your temptations for you.
Hello Iam Kstoman and i struggled with perversion and masturbation all my life untill i was so sick of me that i started thinking of God first.He is the Master and we let sex and girls take his place.God designed you to have fellowship with you and the devil blocks that with all these other things. I pray that you have some victory in this battle for that is what life is.
