Day 8/135 I can't keep living this way So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage. I'm standing up imma face my demons, I'm manning up imma hold my ground. I've had enough, now I'm so fed up, Time to put my life back together right now. Song: Not Afraid by Eminem
No M or O: Short term= Day 1/7 Long term= Day 1/49 (start = 14th December 2022) No P: Day 1/30 (start 14th December 2022)
38/37 So I did it, there goes my longest streak since I can remember, probably since I was 10 years old. Wasn’t that hard actually, I got to the point where I was not interested in PMO for the first two weeks. It happens to me every now and then after I "over-consume" the crap. Things were getting more serous at 20 days mark, I would wake up in the night and get urges to watch. If it was not to my content blocker on all my devices I would probably relapse. I was also very low on energy during those days, but that might be the weather and short days. The benefits I can feel from abstaining for this long are clear thinking, no self shame, more energised when doing sports, I am able to work and think systematically. At this point P seems distant and I do not really need to watch it. I am getting some urges to touch myself, but I am able to stop that. Had zero wet dreams during the whole streak, weirdly enough. So I hit my goal to beat the streak, now what? There were days where I insisted on not relapsing just to beat the freakin' streak, LOL. What is going to motivate me now? I think I can make it to 100, that would be nice. I do not need PMO in my life, life’s much better without it so why bother? Just do not relapse ever. Best luck to you all trying, you will make it, just don’t give up
Day 0/135 Damn it. Starting again. I MOed two times once without P and once with P. Reason: I had been having constant sexual thoughts from last two days and last night I gave in to compulsive feeling to relapse. How this could have been avoided, or what to do next time: Well I gotta realize that having constant sexual flashbacks and compulsive urges is a part of the journey and a big part of rebooting the brain. Plus I gotta remember my goals, I know getting rid of this addiction for good is gonna improve my life in every sphere then be it career wise, confidence wise, appearance wise and what not. Giving in to those compulsive feelings for 2 minutes of false dark pleasure which actually isn't a pleasure is not worth it.
I unfortunately relapsed to a trigger this morning and went down a brief downward spiral. Back to Day 0/17
No M or O: Short term= Day 2/7 Long term= Day 2/49 (start = 14th December 2022) No P: Day 2/30 (start 14th December 2022)
