Day 356! 9 days to my personal "happy new pornless year" Merry Christmas everyone! Joy, grace, happiness, , beauty, health! Best wishes!
How do you feel in terms of brain recovery. Do you experience any brain fog? Do you enjoy little things in life better than before? How is your motivation level to do routine tasks and achieve special goals, hobbies etc.
Well I do understand where you are coming from; most people think along those lines. You abstain for "logical" reasons; problem is when one falls back its for all the "illogical reasons" that are embeded much deeper in their psyche / plus the reasons in their physical brain (cravings / dependancy/ etc). Will power, as proven by psychologists, is inherently "limited reserve" - "limited amount", that's why for most people it is never enough to overcome complex addictions. Where is the will power with the millions and millions of relapses? Saying that the person lacks will power, and if he wants he will just stop; is right to a degree, yet it doesn't tell the whole story. Yes one needs will power to "initiate" / "resist"; but what more does he need to do to "fend off" / "protect" against every single internal and external issue that will "bombard" him and his "will power" afterwards? This complex deeply-embedded web of reasons that will "make it so easy to just let go.. this one time.. one time cannot destroy everything can it?"; will power will not withstand this for long, and so the rabbit hole scenario keeps replaying itself again and again. I am speaking from my experience of course, yet again, I have to admit: People are all different; and how P affects them also is different. There are people more addict-prone; they are others who are addict-proof (from the very start). Some are learners, some are more experimental, some figure it out as they go along, some make use of others experience. There are people who with no plan whatsoever, and no knowledge even, just decided to quit, at once, and succeed at it like a breeze! Psychology and human beings is COMPLEX, and this P problem just shows that in a COMPLEX world. Thanks for the discussion!
Lol I just deleted my original post because I thought it was too antagonistic... should have refreshed the page first. From what I understand, willpower is like a muscle... the more you use it (without overworking it) the stronger it becomes. NoFap isn't the first major crisis I've had in my life, so I have prior experience that required a ton of willpower, and because I was successful before, I feel a lot more comfortable with relying on pure willpower, since it worked before. But that's just me. The reason I gravitate towards a willpower based solution is because it's simple, and it puts the success of NoFap completely in my control. There is no external factor that can change that... even if I lose my job tomorrow... if I reset, it's because I screwed up, because I know logically that I can absorb a job loss and still stop myself from resetting, even though it will be extremely difficult. And there's a very positive emotional feeling from knowing that you are accomplishing NoFap through willpower... the more you accomplish it, the more your confidence grows, the more your capacity for willpower grows. It's kind of a positive feedback loop. "will power will not withstand this for long, and so the rabbit hole scenario keeps replaying itself again and again." - I disagree with this. Dopamine rushes are completely mental, so there is no logical reason why you have to reset. A person with enough willpower can resist any Dopamine rush, and you need to believe that you are capable of resisting any rush, and then piggyback off that belief when the rush actually hits. Self-confidence is everything. I will admit, it's the mental equivalent of trying to break wooden boards with your fist. If you're a black belt, it's not an issue. If you're an amateur, you're likely to end up with a sore hand and a solid board. But the important thing to remember is that the hand can get stronger, while the board always stays the same, (In this analogy the board actually gets weaker as your brain rewires itself) and eventually the board will break, as long as you don't give up. (I suppose in this scenario you would say that learning the correct technique makes the process a lot easier, which sounds a lot like a plan) I guess to conclude: There is only one rule with NoFap. Don't reset, no matter what. Keep it simple, and take full responsibility if you fail. Never give up, and always try and break the board with every punch. Willpower is 100% necessary. Plans make things a lot easier, but eventually there will be dark days, and only willpower can save you then. But plans can help you conserve your willpower for those dark days. The more confidence you have in yourself, the more willpower you can bring to bear on your problems. The longer your streak, and the more dark days you survive, the more confidence you will have. I am the most awesome bastard in the world. I have overcome crazy, life altering health issues before, and NoFap is just another challenge in a series. It's one of the hardest mentally, but I have absolutely no doubt that I will overcome it... and when I do, I will be even more confident and prepared for the next challenge. (And more awesome as well. To some degree, I will become a better man after getting rid of porn, that I would have been if I had never looked at porn in the first place) Thanks to you also for the discussion. Feel free to respond to this ultra-macho take on NoFap.
Well I was lucky then to reply fast LOL I agree on your demonstration of how people can give it a go using will power alone; its a beauty and has gems in it; I agree that this might work 100% with the very lucky few who are masters in using their will power. I did get motivated / learned a few things here and there; a very well put post! Best
I have been addicted for almost 25 years. It is double the length of life before I started M. I have tried many things. Still I am not sure that it is a thing to plan. I also don't know how one can plan this? I am not against planning but I don't think any plans work unless you want it hard ! It depends on how hard you want to escape. Also, I think that even in implementing and following the plan requires a certain amount of willpower. Off course plans can make things easier but when willpower surrenders I always bypass other measures like P blockers and I go any extend to get that dopamine hit once I lost from 'inside'. This is certainly a most complex thing. 2.5 decades isn't small.
In my opinion, when we think more and more that it is a physical brain that is being damaged and in turn damaging our whole life, the willpower boosts 10 times. It is inner instinct of survival when we don't want any physical organ in danger. May be? I started to implement this thought process recently and it has helped me. It is physical brain we want to save to get better life and that's it. Just reset the brain, the dopamine circuit.
This was great, thanks! I was looking for something like this that works on a similar theory to Alan Carr's Easyway of giving up addictions
Day 20 checking in! Been feeling much better recently. Past 5 days have felt like a breeze.. So this is when, from experience, I'm going to be more vigilant. It usually catches me out when I think the worst has passed and I relax slightly Merry Christmas everyone. Hope you all have a good one
Well that's a long journey and hopefully you've got some insight after those decades; will power is a must throughout the journey; before, during and after. No one can do without. The plan is for the "trouble points", and they are many and mostly diversified based on each and every ones' particular situation. You pointed to, for example, of "chasing a certain feeling"; then you might need a plan for that. Others might need a plan when they "feel low", or "get that urge", or "get angry", etc. Plans serve a purpose, they give us direction, help us understand our thought process, avoid the pitfalls, etc. Plans help us deal with the "complexity" inside us and around us beforehand. The P monster is a monster that attacks our "weakest points" on so many levels, and have been doing so over the years, both spiritually and physically, and to overcome such a deep embedded monster, one needs to methodically get to the root, extract it, replace it with something else, etc. etc.. As a person who learned from the experience of others, this is what worked for me; I tweaked their steps to specifically suit my case. Thus I reached "my plan". Hope that helps
Truly, my brother, it has been a long time now that I have not experienced brain fog. I think my brain has therefore been recovered. As far as everyday life is concerned, I have only one thing to say, freedom. And perhaps a second, usable time, i.e. multiplicity of options. Do you know how many hours someone can spend chasing false-pleasure through porn, masturbation, etc.? apart from slavery and mental disability. Long-term abstinence slowly brings all this. Ps: day 357 and counting
Glad to hear that brother! I wish one day I will have recovered brain too. Usable time is what I can notice even on day 45. Though I can't make use of it smartly, I do feel like I have surplus time. You are right about mental disability, now I also started to take it as actual physical brain disability as well. You journey is inspiring I wish I have a whole clean next year.
Calmness is the rarest quality in human life. It is the poise of a great nature, in harmony with itself and its ideals. It is the moral atmosphere of a life self-centered, self-reliant, and self-controlled. Calmness is singleness of purpose, absolute confidence, and conscious power, ready to be focused in an instant to meet any crises. ~ William George Jordan ~ When adversity strikes, that's when you have to be the most calm. Take a step back, stay strong, stay grounded and press on. ~ LL Cool J ~ Through perseverance many people win success out of what seemed destined to be certain failure. Benjamin Disraeli Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. Better to fight for something than live for nothing. -George S. Patton Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things. Henry Ward Beecher Success doesn’t just find you. You have to go out and get it. Thanks to @Calm @jk243 !
