I had a sexting addiction. I managed to reduce it to flirting or (suggestive?) flirting. I have been working to cut it down further. A few things help me stop sexting. First, I don't sext on websites that are financially connected to prostitutes or porn producers. It's the same as going to a place where women are naked, but then being punished for saying sexual things to those naked women. In the offline world, being naked or posing sexually is usually just as criminal or wrong as being verbally sexual. The internet tries to change that reality. But if a woman can't walk around naked in my city, then she should not be sharing naked pics on my website. I do not communicate on or visit websites that support or facilitate such prostitutes or porn producers. Second, I am very picky with whom I flirt online with. I usually only flirt with heterosexual cisgender young women in any English-speaking nation. This is hard to discern because a man can not distinguish a heterosexual or cisgender woman just through looks alone. Surgery has made it nearly impossible to distinguish between transwomen and ciswomen. Now add that I flirt on a website where women lie about their age or don't show photos of themselves, and I find myself not being able to flirt with anyone. But this "pickyness" is good for me because I usually lose interest during my long search. Instead of interrogating women for half an hour, I realize I could be doing a lot more in my life. Even watching a funny youtube video about electronic games is better than trying to determine if a woman is heterosexual and cisgender. Third, I've realized that most women (who are not on websites that have prostitutes or porn) are usually not interested in flirting or sexting. Heck, some women don't even care about some men. Flirting or sexting with an apathetic person is like talking to a wall. It's a huge waste of time. I have better things to do in my life. I can't get time back. Some of them are also married and fear flirting. I have better things to do than to try to encourage a woman to flirt or cheat on her partner. These chats are usually the worst because they seem sporadic. And the sporadic nature is usually because a woman's husband or social circle is dissuading her from flirting with other men, which is totally right. And yet instead of teling the other man "I'm married," she just drags him along like some play toy. Then when her husband comes around, she stuffs the toy in a box or under her bed and it hurts. It's a horrible situation to be in. Not fun at all.
Really, oh waw brother u just opened my eyes, i really thought that loneliness was the problem, i was saying to myself all the time that maybe when ill get into a relationship everything will be different.
Yes, I can relate. At this point I'm pretty good at quitting PMO and getting through 30, 60, 90 days... whatever... But the thing that always sucks me back into the void gradually is sexting and online roleplay. That's all text, so it doesn't seem as harmful or intense as viewing pornography... but it's probably the same addiction. It's edging with your mind while abstaining with your body, which is bound to either make abstaining very stressful, or just lead you to relapse with something more.
Indeed, I believe that sexting and cam-girls etc. is part of the recovery process. I had a few resets due to sexting and cam-girls after I quit P. Personally, I believe it to be a part of the "recovery brain" trying to pull you back into the addictive process of P. Now after 30 days being free from P, the urges to sext appears to gradually fade away. At least, the urges are much less intense at the moment. This shows how addictive P is, that one is searching so desperately elsewhere for that dopamine hit... It sure is a mountain to climb being free from P, but I do actually see a light in the end of the tunnel atm.. Brain fog is suddenly lifted, with no P 30 days coupled with tough exercise.. I think it is helpful to keep in mind that P addiction is just a sub-addiction of internet addiction, and also contains an element of sex addiction. So we should keep screen time to a minimum. Let's keep going guys. This sexting thing is temporary.
I think we was all separated at birth as we all have a very similar story and mindset. I’ve gradually overcome the sexting so called phase (I think) and I’ll give you some tips on how. Basically I was in the same position. Managed to find a website which lets you post ads and message people easily. Not mentioning it on here as it was one of the worst decisions relating to nofap and PMO. At first I was talking to just women and one in particular for 9 months. I honestly don’t know if it was a fake account or real. Only problem with the internet. But she acted like the perfect woman. Sexting was really intense and would PMO or get hard over the conversations quite a lot. When she didn’t message I would get annoyed. Sometimes she wouldn’t message for weeks and in the end she didn’t message for maybe a month and randomly emailed asking for pics. At that point I felt used in a way. Towards the end I had loads of men and women messaging me. Some of the guys were trans and always were messaging me. At the time I thought I was maybe bi but to be honest I just wanted the attention. Even when I sent a picture of my face and body to these men they were amazed. I don’t think I look anything special but I was getting so much attention. Even from the same sex I enjoyed been wanted. Was going through a rough patch (still am) and was simply filling a void I guess. Anytime I was annoyed. Sext Didn’t get sex. Sext. Bored at home. Sext. I was close to meeting a few people but luckily didn’t. As I’ve been cheated on multiple times by an ex and it just makes you feel sick and broken. So I’ve got all these people messaging me. Loving my fetishes and fantasies. Better than porn in my head due to how it was making me feel. Why stop. Oh I’ll tell you why. It was the biggest waste of time in my entire life. Do you know what’s better than chatting to horny strangers online? Real life. Living in the real world is so much better. Been with people who actually care about you and respect you as a person and not view you as a sexual object. I mainly did this to suppress my emotions with what was happening in my relationship. And was doing that with Porn and PMO until 11 days ago (aiming for a month). Here’s the plan to stop. 1. Delete any email related to your dating accounts. I found doing this to be a huge barrier to creating accounts. 2. If you find yourself about to go into old habits, especially when bored or frustrated. Trade it for a cold shower, walk or gym. Or all 3. 3. Aim on improving what you can in life. Whether it be working more hours to save for something, doing DIY/ home improvements, meeting friends and family and improving the connections, cooking, reading. Really invest in a hobby. Most men are into gaming. I’ve just bought last of us 2 after waiting forever. Or Elden ring. (Good luck) 4. Get off your phone. Unless it’s nofap. When I was in my bad sexting phase I seemed to be constantly on instagram. A lot of triggering things for me on there. Avoid social media like covid. 5. If you have partner. Invest in them. More time together, treat them. Try something new. Might be crazy golf, new restaurant. New position in the bedroom. Anything. Love them and appreciate them. Because unfortunately tomorrow isn’t guaranteed and we can’t change yesterday. We only have today. (Deep but true). In general I think focusing on myself was a massive factor for getting over this. Focusing on a good fitness routine and watching videos on YouTube on fitness helped me focus on myself. Been smart with my diet and training and been grateful for what opportunities I have in life. Also work helps. I’m finally in a job which is less stress and what I love. Work in property maintenance/ building so always busy and get a lot of satisfaction. Always progressing as I guess I’m fairly new to it. My work offered to pay for a plastering course for me yesterday which is amazing. It’ll be an evening course for a few month which will keep me busy and obviously less time getting distracted with things I shouldn’t. Very hard to PMO when my hands are filthy and I’m busy lol
"So I’ve got all these people messaging me. Loving my fetishes and fantasies. Better than porn in my head due to how it was making me feel. Why stop. Oh I’ll tell you why. It was the biggest waste of time in my entire life. Do you know what’s better than chatting to horny strangers online? Real life. Living in the real world is so much better. Been with people who actually care about you and respect you as a person and not view you as a sexual object. " so, so true. I realized i was sexting because p brain wanted to find validation somewhere...."find someone messed up online who understands broken, traumatized you, and that will look like love" - no, it looked like addiction. and wasting ALLLL my time. eventually I got attached to people that didnt give a rats ass about me. man, life is hard right now. but ive stayed away from the sexting which I actually think is a lot worse than regular p.
I can understand you very well. Used to do it at 2021-2022 in reddit, talked a lot with women, showed nudes to them and they did the same with me, but i lost too much time and just got bad after i break these chains. Porn was the main reason to start it all btw
How to stop the sexting because you are in a relationship,, IMAGINE the entire time your partner has been doing the same, with someone way hotter than you, with more goals, with a bigger dick, and who ultimately treats them better. Are you still hard for strangers online? Do you want to continue, so your partner can too?
