365 days A year after being born again.

TideHunter · Mar 31, 2023

Thanks for sharing

It was amazing, I hope I'll be free for 1 year and experience it by myself.

TonyTokoyo · Apr 1, 2023

I can't thank you enough for posting this.

'the stutter that characterized me for a long time has drastically decreased'
This is me. Social Anxiety at its peak and I stutter alot in social situations. When alone, I am the best orater and speaker. So, this tells me the stutter is not a medical problem with me but only due to PMO.

Can I keep in touch with you until I have made it beyond 90 days?

sayem10 · Apr 12, 2023

Ebervg said: ↑

Hey guys, a year ago I wouldn't have imagined being here. I thought I was doomed to live the rest of my life as a miserable hypocrite, a slave to pornography and masturbation. But, look at me today, a year without PMO. I really can't believe it, but it's real. There is a deep gratitude in my being for having the opportunity to reach this stage of the process. The road has not been easy. I remember the first few weeks and how I went through the withdrawal symptoms, but it was worth it, and it's not like I'm completely healed, but today is a great achievement in that healing process.
I am a few weeks away from turning 32, in which 20 years I have lived as a PMO addict (at another time I will share my story of how to become prey to this terrible addiction).
This year, without a doubt, has been the best I've ever experienced. I have really been reborn, these months have been a starting point to change the course of my life.

Some of the keys to my progress are as follows:

Change the way you see addiction. Due to my religious beliefs I used to see this addiction simply from the perspective of a “horrible sin” that I had to secretly repent of, it was a pattern of feeling bad and hoping that this pain would help me not fall again, but it was just a repeating cycle. Everything changed, when I stopped seeing this addiction as a simple spiritual problem, and learned to see the other areas in which this addiction was destroying me. When I saw the physical damage, the mental deterioration, and the effects on my social development, the picture widened. Pornography and masturbation is a serious disease that has consequences on a physiological, mental and spiritual level. Learning about the damage that porn causes made me aware of the true face of this terrible addiction. I stopped looking at porn as a hobby or a harmless action and looked at it for the first time for what it is; a deadly disease.

Adopt a new style of eating and exercise. I learned to change my eating habits. The key was to move again. I had a sedentary lifestyle, without taking care of my diet, I had a problem of being overweight. The truth is that I wasn't happy with myself, I didn't feel good. But, at the same time, he didn't do anything to get out of there, he didn't have the strength to do it. However, this was where discipline became vitally important. I stopped eating sugary foods, I stopped staying awake, I stopped drinking coffee, I started drinking 2 liters of water daily and above all things; I promised to exercise. Currently, I work out at home, I haven't decided to go to the gym yet out of caution to the visual triggers I may face. But, there are no excuses, there are exercises that can be done at home, it's just taking the first step and starting to move. In truth, you cannot imagine the benefit this will bring to your process.

Meditation and dealing with my emotions. For me, porn was a way to self-medicate the emotional pain in my heart. Faced with any situation of anxiety, of frustration, I used to flee as a coward to take refuge in the PMO. But, everything changed when I learned to face those uncomfortable emotions and face my demons from the past. Facing the traumas and healing the wounds of my childhood was the best decision. Porn never helped me, it was just a drug that temporarily reduced the pain, but only made it worse. If you don't start to heal your wounds, porn will always be in control of your emotions. Practicing meditation and therapeutic writing have been fundamental tools in my process and, above all, memorizing biblical portions to face temptation has been the key.

Knowledge is the best method to deal with addiction. He lived in ignorance. Like the frog in the boiling pot, I had adapted to a destructive lifestyle. But, this Nofap community, and other men who have shared their experience, helped me see that there is new life behind this addiction. I let my addiction normalize and the cases of overcoming it made me see that I can also get ahead, and in the same way, the testimonies of brothers who have relapsed, helped me identify myself and learn from the mistakes of others to avoid them in my process. Keeping the mind occupied in studying about the restart and in everything that can help us is of great importance, otherwise, an idle mind is a breeding ground to continue reproducing this addictive behavior.

Some of the benefits in this process:
Greater self-confidence. Years of insecurity, of living in shame have been exchanged for a new version. Now I am able to look anyone in the eye, I have eye contact with women. I no longer look at them as a beta man, but as a true man, with respect and cordiality. I walk safely and with my head held high.

My appearance has improved significantly. My eyes radiate a special sparkle that children admire, women notice, and men respect. The light of life is in the eyes, it makes sense. If you cultivate your inner being, if you heal the soul; your eyes will manifest this to others. My skin is no longer oily and full of acne, I struggled all my youth with this, but in this year, this problem has completely subsided. In short, you feel alive and you transmit it to others with your gaze and your presence.

Better work performance. It is as if the creative potential that I had not experienced for a long time resurfaced. The reality is that it was always there, but the brain fog produced by PMO always hindered it. Now, I have a better ability to memorize, my verbal communication skills have improved considerably (the stutter that characterized me for a long time has drastically decreased).

Living true Masculinity. One of the things I have achieved this year is learning to live my masculinity in a healthy way. I am learning at this point in my life to see that my virility does not consist as society promotes it, as a hypersexualized being. Actually, masculinity lies in taking care of our essence, guiding those around us, leading our lives, governing our impulses. As a man I was not created to live worshiping women and their bodies. On the contrary, I was created to transcend, to inspire, protect and motivate others. Porn castrates us as males, but abstinence gives us back the manhood the world needs and real women crave deeply.
I am aware that there are areas in my life where I need to work more, but this year has been just a starting point to continue becoming that man that God always wanted me to be. If anyone took the time to read this far, thank you very much.

Truly, I hope you can have hope knowing that there is an extraordinary life waiting for you. I am experiencing it.

I apologize for the expression errors, I'm using Google translate.
Click to expand...

WTH Man @Ebervg , what an aspiration man! Your message was coherent and hit my heart, and I have something to ask you. By the way, I am an anonymous guy, and I have been sacrificing for about 2 months; however, recently I have masturbated after 55 days without watching pornography. I was in sexual arousal, was not able to control my horny, and had masturbated. As a result, I promised I would control my urge in the future even if It becomes difficult. Have you faced the same thing, and is it normal at first time?

Ebervg · Apr 15, 2023

TonyTokoyo said: ↑

I can't thank you enough for posting this.

'the stutter that characterized me for a long time has drastically decreased'
This is me. Social Anxiety at its peak and I stutter alot in social situations. When alone, I am the best orater and speaker. So, this tells me the stutter is not a medical problem with me but only due to PMO.

Can I keep in touch with you until I have made it beyond 90 days?
Click to expand...

Yes, you can count on me!

Ebervg · Apr 15, 2023

sayem10 said: ↑

WTH Man @Ebervg , what an aspiration man! Your message was coherent and hit my heart, and I have something to ask you. By the way, I am an anonymous guy, and I have been sacrificing for about 2 months; however, recently I have masturbated after 55 days without watching pornography. I was in sexual arousal, was not able to control my horny, and had masturbated. As a result, I promised I would control my urge in the future even if It becomes difficult. Have you faced the same thing, and is it normal at first time?
Click to expand...

If I have found myself struggling with those urges getting in my way. This is the difficult part of the road, there are days when those impulses in my case have been manageable and others when it has been hard to stay on my feet.
Actually part of that energy (temptation) will always be there, the key is to learn to keep it under control. I had a relapse after more than 500 days. In this post I share my experience. The reflection of someone who stumbled after more than 500 days. | NoFap®

But mainly it was because I neglected to keep these urges in check, I was neglecting this part.
Do not let your guard down at any time, know your impulses, ask yourself what triggers it, and above all, have a defined action plan when you are in a dangerous situation.
Greetings and encouragement!

Ebervg · Apr 15, 2023

adbread said: ↑

Thanks for sharing

It was amazing, I hope I'll be free for 1 year and experience it by myself.
Click to expand...

Have confidence!
I know you will make it, and it will be extraordinary.

sayem10 · Apr 15, 2023

Ebervg said: ↑

If I have found myself struggling with those urges getting in my way. This is the difficult part of the road, there are days when those impulses in my case have been manageable and others when it has been hard to stay on my feet.
Actually part of that energy (temptation) will always be there, the key is to learn to keep it under control. I had a relapse after more than 500 days. In this post I share my experience. The reflection of someone who stumbled after more than 500 days. | NoFap®

But mainly it was because I neglected to keep these urges in check, I was neglecting this part.
Do not let your guard down at any time, know your impulses, ask yourself what triggers it, and above all, have a defined action plan when you are in a dangerous situation.
Greetings and encouragement!
Click to expand...

Thank you so much, brother.

rkingqueen · Apr 22, 2023

Ebervg said: ↑

As a man I was not created to live worshiping women and their bodies. On the contrary, I was created to transcend, to inspire, protect and motivate others. Porn castrates us as males, but abstinence gives us back the manhood the world needs and real women crave deeply.
Click to expand...

I'm really happy for you that you feel good and energetic now!

Just wanted to say something about the quoted text because it can be interpreted as kind of toxic masculinity. Man don't have to lead others. This would be especially problematic if all man see it like this and try to command eachother around - this may result in conflict. In fact, we had and have enough such conflicts of in our society, where man with hurt egos get violent, subjugate others and even go to war. The world does not crave such kind of masculinity - in fact, the world have seen enough of it and it's time to be better than that. I'm not saying that you meant it like that - just want to lay out how it could be interpreted.
And what is a "real" woman? Just dividing women into "real" and "not real" makes an alarm bell go off in my head. Things like this can quickly sound like the "wisdom" those "Dating Coaches" try to inject into the world.
If I may, I'd like formulate it differently: As a human being (independant of sex/gender) we're created to live our lives as good as we can and do as much good for others as we can. If others find a person inspiring, they may follow this person but nobody is forced to lead (e.g. based on their sex/gender) nor to follow. We're all free beings and everyone deserves the same respect.

nomo · Apr 25, 2023

Very good post, an inspiration for all of us.
In an hour or so I should have 1-day on my counter. I had 27 days, PMO'ed about 5 days ago, and did it again yesterday. I'm here reading these forums for inspiration and you have given me what I need for now. I'm working on quitting one day at a time, but with the goal of achieving 365 + days on my counter. It has been harder each time I fail, so I feel like I have hit bottom and have enough reason to make this work.
Peace,
Nomo

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365 days A year after being born again.

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