Hi Guys, So here is a question: What you think/know about masturbation during actual sex with girl. is it bad? wrong? good? its OK? what i mean is, sometimes you cannot reach orgasm from actual sex, but you still want to cum, is it OK to "finish" yourself with masturbation? yesterday, i had sex with girlfriend (after almost 2 weeks of no sex), and the feeling was a little bit weird.. its not that i didnt enjoy it, of course i did, but the sensitivity was very high and i couldnt hold for long, so i finished very quickly (2 weeks no sex and 5 days no fapping..). but later, 2 next acts, for me was very difficult to finish, and to release pressure, i had to fap, with her present.. what you think about this? is there any chance in hell, i could forget about fapping at all? or am i cursed to be sexual-fapper for eternity..:facepalm:
If she is a participant I would say your in good shape. You are trying to remove your addiction to false things, fantasy, porn, a screen. You should encourage sex with an actual person. Preferably one with an actual connection, we sex addicts tend to take the sex and leave the connection, you don't want to quit masturbation and porn just to escalate to random strangers or escorts.
@FacingmyDemon well.. I never ever went to escorts, what i did always is watch a lot of pron and wank.. (from age of 14 probably). what happens now, is that by stoppoing to wank, i cant still get to proper orgasms, i finish too soon or i cant finish at all and it takes time and by only (almost) waking i can finish (with woman).. i agree that connection is extremely important, yet, by wanking in front of my girl, i feel like i am failing her and myself in sex. she is kinda "ok" with me waking, becouse she loves me and wants me to orgams too, but i feel its like ... i should be able to finish normally in her and not in my hand.. anyway, probably too complex all this, i will try my best to not masturbate during sex at all, better not to cum than to cum from hand i guess.. probably need more time to get used to "new sex without wanking" and re-wire my brain..
the obvious question… and this my challenge your thinking a bit - why do you need to cum at all if you have enjoyable sex with her? we seem to be programmed by porn to see sex as a linear process that ends in orgasm… but why? What if you can enjoy a long slow intimate session with your GF… and you don’t climax with an orgasm, but you get much intimacy and enjoy. Just an idea - maybe time to read up on the Karezza technique. As for us it OK - I suspect you’re right that watching you may not make her feel great. I think would be much more OK if she finished you off “because she wanted to” but I’d be reluctant to do myself as this suggests you still have an urge to O - and could lead you back. I didn’t expect to have these views 96 days ago when I arrived at the site - but I don’t see why we want to orgasm any more… if life can be this good without it.
The time to rewire your brain will certainly help with the PE. I was not saying that you were using excorts or that you would. I was trying to imply that this is a progressive disease and in my meetings I see the advanced stages of our "Condition" and like to put out the warnings to people in the early stages.
Newbie Jasper..... BRILLIANT!!! As I was reading his post I was thinking.... Why do you have to come? I would think she would love that! She could have multiple orgsams and you still not come. Most chicks would worship you for that. You coming should be optional. Jasper is dead on that it doesn't have to be a linear process. Nobody ever said it had to be start to finish. I don't know if you realize what opportunity you have with that. Imagine you just rocked her world 2 or 3 times and she was tired. Then you just cuddled her and let her rest in your arms. You kiss her gently and do nothing by show her affection. When she knows you didnt come you just say hey baby, the was all about you tonight. Nobody said I had to come. Just being connected to you and our bodies warmth together is sufficient. Why don't you out rest here in my arms to get to sleep. I love you. Dude. You will be so hot for her you will bend over backwards being kind, considerate and helpful with her. You will open the car door, and other chivalrous treatment. Your body naturally responds when you are denied for a bit, ans it changes the chemistry in your brain. Not only are you hot for her, she is feeling so special because of the treatment she is getting. She will feel like, wow, he is treating me so special. Next time.... Watch out. She is gonna bangnyour brains out so bad you will be crosseyed. The way into a womens pants is thru the heart. Consider yourself lucky that you can't come. You keep control of that and she will be begging you. You are using what women who deny their husbands in a playful way in reverse. Think about it. Damn you are so lucky. It's all in how you frame your situation. I just turned your dilemma into something any guy would give his left nut for.
Oh yeah. I don't think normal girls actually like seeing guys masturbate. Maybe I am wrong, I could be corrected on that. I have heard that some girls dont even like seeing your junk. Again, maybe I have been around too many good clean girls.
hey give up both!! What do we need them for in your beautiful painted scenario buddy!! (It’s OK!! I’m joking!!) But you’re 100% right buddy and whilst I can see that now and am working towards it… I wonder why it took me till me 50s to realise! And the answer… I only just gave up PMO 96 days ago! The world is lovely without PMO and the girls will love you!!
Girls like to see you cum, it makes them feel good that you get off. If it isn't during sex, then jerking off after is fine. Get her to lick your balls and then jerk off at the same time. She will be happy when you bust your load
guys, thank you for your kind words and support. last night i had sex with my GF.. this time what i did is following, i concentrated all my energy on her.. i came only once at 6AM ) and we started our "session" at 11PM... i have no idea how many time she finished, probably 10? maybe more? no idea.. yes, i have "cheated" a little bit, i too a pill, but still, i wanted her to feel good in bed ...(LOL, now my junk feel "tired").. there was no place in house where we didnt do it.. table, bed, floor, sofa.. even freaking washing machine in laundry room where i sometimes go out to smoke (it has huge window). she said multiple times during our sex "i love you", even tho, hearing these words from her is very very rare... she said it was amazing sex. i am starting to change my ways in bed and i would say with 100% knowledge from my own first hand experience, stopping PMO cycle help alot, its 180 degrees turn! i told her about nofap-com, and that i keep journal and everything, she laughed and said - "I told you years ago to stop fapping but you didnt listen, but you need some random website or strangers to tell you that so you do it. hahaha" by the way, that time i did finish.. it was so intense.. i thought for a second i was going to explode this one time huge orgasm at 6AM was 10 times more worth it than stupid PMO 10 mini orgasms... dont PMO boys and gals
I don't speak for all women, but I can't imagine this is possibly correct. There are ways to make it fun for each partner to touch themselves during intimacy. As long as you're not zoning out or withdrawing to finish, it can still be a good and intimate experience. I'm going to try not to get explicit and put a bunch of triggers on this page, but it's definitely something you could talk to her about, even just in the moment (asking her where she wants you to finish on her, etc, you can turn it into part of the experience). But also if you're death grip syndrome-d, you should be mindful of how often and how you do it and consider long-term policy of "if you can't finish in her/if she can't finish you, you don't finish".
Make sure SHE reaches orgasm. After that, it’s probably okay to masturbate, as long as you think of HER. But on the other hand, why don’t you just continue having actual sex with her as long as it takes?
