I’ve been thinking about the various motivations I’ve had to view porn. Although it’s not something I’m proud of, I believe that at times my motivation to view nude women was passive-agressive. When my wife was rejecting me and it was my way to respond like a weak child. “You don’t get to control me. You don’t get to control my access to sex.” I understand that this was wrong and a childish way to act. I would never do that now. But realizing this motivation made some things click for me. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this motivation?
Yes, I've essentially done that as well. I hadn't ever labeled it a passive-aggressive. Two instanced come to mind, 1. the situation you described. 2. when my wife actually makes promises of "what we are going to do tonight" and then doesn't follow through. The 2nd instance for me is the one that gets me the most often. Will still be working on that one when I finish this hard mode deal I bet.
Holy shit yes I have. I met my wife after my first time quitting and things were phenomenal for a couple of years. But she began to gain a little weight, and then some more. I tried to encourage and nudge and push her towards healthier choices but it fell on deaf ears. Then I began to get bitter….and now full blown relapse and the addiction is even deeper than it was before.
No, I used porn as a way to reject my wife when she wanted sex with me. It wasn't intentional, but I was sexually satisfied from watching porn all day while she was at work and I didn't need her for sex. Needless to say, it hurt our intimacy and my marriage was becoming weak. Now that I'm rejecting porn, I feel much more attracted to my wife. She's as sexy as she ever was and I can really appreciate that now.
I believe I'm just using it as coping with boredom. Which I'm really not proud of, also realizing it's a child's way of getting what I want and that you can get it now at the click of a type. It's like a weird adult child mind trick..
