One thing thats bothering me is how do I move forward with the fact that I did a terrible thing last night. How do I recover from that. I've gone to such extreme extents for sexual pleasure that P is now just the most basic and maybe least abnormal thing or maybe a normal thing for me. I've been in the place where if I Masturbate to P, I feel better about myself that atleast I didnt do "that" stuff. How do I recover from something that deep? when I try to move on thinking whats done is done, I can't. I feel ashamed of myself even trying to convince myself that I'm a good person because I am NOT. what I did just last night isnt my PAST. It is me, my acts define me and I have done some terrible acts. Just to be clear. I havent lost hope yet. I know that there is a way, but I'm unable to see that right now. I want, and I need some guidance. If anyone could help?
Another point that is not that much discussed is about overthink. You know you made something awful, now you shouldn't shame yourself or think that you are the worst person alive. It's a moment to think about changes, what you did many moments before you consumed it and how can you circumvent it. If you start to get obsessed and shameful, thoughts will start to roll over your head, making only more obsessed and then relapsing again (a cycle). The way to avoid it is not OVERTHINK
If you did something illegal without consent of the other person or abused a minor you should turn yourself in to the authorities and take the punishment that is given to you. Without more information on what you did, there isn't much advise anyone here can give you.
I disagree, guilt is what keeps humans in lines, besides fear of course. Without fear nor guilt, we will all be sociopathic monsters.
I disagree, it's not about shame, it's about learn the mistake. Sociopathic people are alive because the state is weak to defend the population
Guilt is about the action, shame is an identity. Guilt implies change is possible, shame tends to involve a blanket judgment. In terms of guilt it's not about judging yourself as a good or bad person, it's about the action. Telling oneself they are either good or bad implies an absolute judgment and does not do the work of actually evaluating the action, not just the judgment but what it may cause. From this perspective of evaluation, which will involve not having all the answers (but still a concerted effort) BOTH positive and negative identification are kind of a cop out, it doesn't really tell us anything and is too easy and doesn't do the work.
A super simple look is that action is about change, identification is about remaining the same. Guilt is about action and shame is about identification. The flip side or positive identification is understandable, to want to lock in positive change but it kind of misses the point and is not realistic, but plenty of people try to do that in some form.
I would put my Focus on my Feelings and Emotions and see how my Body reacts to it, by that means -> before and after I have watched P. and MO.d to it. What is it that you felt uncomfortable? You have said that you went through some extreme extents....what is it? ....it can not be as much shocking as I have experienced in the Past, but never made it public anywhere. And I have seen literally everything.
We still don't know what OP did. Could have been something relatively trivial he's catastrophizing in his head.
We can give advice without knowing the details. We don't need to know everything. It's not a good idea to go into detail on this forum because other users will use it against you.
i think we should acknowledge it first, but not accept, otherwise we'll not feel any guilty or shameful.just like DeepRecovery said, guilt is about the action,which implies change is possible. paying attention to action is pretty significant cause sole emotions or affections themselves don't make sense and even harm physically.
about what I did. I can't really tell. I dont have the guts to admit it. Its not something illegal, and No I havent hurt a minor or something thats ridiculous. they're things which totally oppose the kind of personality I have in public and all my image would be totally fucked if someone ever came to know about that. I have grown some really retarded fetishes and fantasies, I have used pictures of people I know (my friends) to Mas* , I have done s*xting and stuff (and really weird type of it) and some extreme fetishes. And sometimes I just feel like I dont have a limit to this. I dont know how low I can get. I really didnt wanna tell this but I dont know if It helps anyone give a better advice, then okayy.
but if someone came to know about what I did and they asked me about it, I cant say that "I'm not like that, that was my past, I was drunk" etc etc. I have no fucking excuse and I have no justification to it. It will be the end of the world for me.
but the guilt, it will always be there with me. Even if I somehow escaped all of this, became a better person, still, I can't change what I did? guilt will live? or I dont know what will happen!
so...I should judge myself for the act that I did, but not for the person who I am? But I believe in "you are what you do", its the actions that defines you, if you do good deeds, youre a good person, if you do bad deeds, youre a bad person, and I think that my bad acts are more and heavier than my good acts. and even if I became a good person one day, I would still know that once I wasnt, the shame wont let me move on.