I am stupid

This is a bit long but please just bear with me until the end. Please....

Listen...i was diagnosed with schizophrenia...if i don't take pills i literally go insane. I also have severe anxiety and ocd.

I feel like im the dumbest person i know. Common sense doesn't common sense, meaning in my life is meaningless. I make such simple mistakes and my brain doesn't process such simple things. I have issues reading mate. My memory is staggering horrible. I. AM. WORTHLESS. AND. I'LL. NEVER. BE SUCESSFUL

Yet here i am after almost 5 years of having the worst experience i am in life. Going everyday with the mentality that I will do better.

And after 5 years of hating myself and believing i will never succeed, i spend every day fighting porn, trying to get a degree and improve myself as a human being because i told myself that i will die a better man than i was before. I am more happier than I've ever been. I live with my problems but i refuse that my problems live with me.

I have now found more success in myself than i have ever found even before being diagnosed with schizophrenia.




Mate listen. Let go. There are people with even worse problems than we have who have died being some of the most incredible human beings you will ever meet.

Just look up how Jim Kwik received brain injury when he was a kid and because of that he was the slowest learner he knew. Yet now he's considered to have a super brain and teaches brain training courses that are taught to world famous people.

Its to starts with letting go mate and it starts with you finally acknowledge that you have worth. The mind is a powerful thing mate; if you tell yourself you will never be great, you will never be great because your body will react to the mind and act accordingly.

But the moment you start telling yourself everyday: i got this, i will be better, the whole story changes and your whole world changes.

Do you want to tell anyone that they are worthless; that they have no value? Do you want anyone to say that to you? No? Then why do you say that to yourself, mate? Its ok mate, i get how screwed up it feels man i was there -i am there- but it always starts in the head. Start with the mind and everything changes.

The moment you start telling yourself that you got this, will be the day you start telling yourself the truth.

And accept it mate. Once you accept a problem you stop complaining about it and find ways of fixing it. What's the alternative man? Just to be depressed till we die?

Nah mate. That's the game mate. You gotta play the game. To play the game you gotta accept the game and tools you are given in the beginning. And then slowly as you start improving, as you start winning, your life that had nothing of worth, you will walk out feeling worthy of it.

You will go from level 1 to level 50 and you will marvel at how different it feels. Play the game mate. Beat my score. I just started leveling up recently im sure you'll catch up.

 

I don't think having a learning disability means you're stupid. There are plenty of people who are successful who have learning disabilities, and from what I've seen on this site, you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders.

I also read this:

Despite many countries only recently diagnosing students with dyscalculia and it being an under researched condition there are some clear strengths of a dyscalculic profile.

Like dyslexia the dyscalculic brain is wired differently but this is what makes having dyscalculia a positive attribute like a superpower.

6 superpowers of Dyscalculia

• Creativity – a lot of people with dyscalculia are very artistic and have above average imaginative skills which is reflected in their learning style.
• Strategic thinking – people with dyscalculia see situations holistically enabling them to identify the important elements and not just focus on one element or the minor details.
• Practical ability – people with dyscalculia are very hands on and practical which is a great to skill to have both inside and outside of education and can lead to some very exciting careers.
• Problem Solving – people with dyscalculia are fast problem solvers have the ability to think outside of the box and can reflect on past experiences. This provides unique insight and methods for solving problems.
• Love of words – people with dyscalculia are often exceptional at reading writing and spelling.
• Intuitive thinking – people with dyscalculia are good at interpreting reality and processing knowledge experiences and signs around them. Albert Einstein who had learning difficulties said that his studies relied a lot on intuition.

 

Sorry sent a half finished essay by accident before. Hope you read through

 

Our value as persons doesn't depend on our brains, usefulness, capabilities or lack of them.
We're human beings with dignity and are valuable for ourselves (from a religious point of view, we're creations and loved children of God and this makes each of us very valuable!)
We all have different limitations, defects, drawbacks, no one in this world is perfect. But we also all have strengths that are important to recognize and appreciate!
I have OCD also and I felt inferior due to this. Certainly there are diagnoses hard to accept, but they don't mean the end of the world, believe me. Disabilities do NOT make anyone inferior or worthless!
In the same way, outstanding abilities in anything do not make anyone more valuable or important than the others!

I completely agree.
With the right support, people can achieve their full potential.

(Btw, there is a group about mental health in these forums if anyone is interested)

 

Beautifully said. Thanks for sharing your story bro. Very encouraging!