ED still not cured, feeling depressed!

Ok guys so after years of relapse cycle I've made it to three weeks for the first time in my life, I'm confident that I'll never relapse again but... I met this girl, (as a result of increased confidence as a nofap benefit). Last night we made out and wanted to progress to seks, it took soo long for me to get an erection and then it was still weak. A bit later while cuddling I got a rockhard erection but then when we progressed and she started touching me it went soft again. She even gave me oral which didnt work either.

I'm feeling soo frustrated with this. When is ED supposed to be cured? Is it because of the nerves since I could get it up but it went down when she touched? I tried deep breathing and even took half an erection pill before the act. I'm desperate for advice, please guys, I could really fall in love with this girl, I don't want it to end because of ED.

 

Thanks for the support.
I realize i need alot more healing to do and I forgive myself for needing this healing. I'm allready so happy that the addiciton part is under control and i know it will al get better in the next few months. But me and this girl are so into eachother and she's texting me telling me that she just doesn't understand how that happened last night, she's worried. But obviously i dont want to tell her i'm a recovering addict, I've only known this girl for a few months.

Just don't want to loose her, I mean what do I reply to her now, i'm really freaking out. I wouldnt care less if it was a random girl I tried to have sex with but I really want more with this girl, we're such a good match.

 

Great advice has been given indeed, thanks alot for the support guys,

It's mainly in my head I think, because I had spontaneous erections a few days ago aswel, I think i'm just too nervous, and then when it doesn't go, i focus more on my dick, and then i see it still doesnt get up so i get more nervous and the cycle continues and remains dead dick. Thank god she's quite cool about, just worried and curious on what's going, she has every right to be.
I told her it's not her fault but that i think I know what causes it and that it's temporary, but she's going to expect further info next time I see her. The burdon of PMO is too much to share with this girl right now, any advice on what medical condition I could say i have that's not that embarrassing? @TheIdealMan

 

@traveller22

Yea i know it wont be a big deal if it doesn't happen again but if it does... We're still getting to know eachother so such a big issue like ED is too much to accept from a person you haven't known for that long, not being pessimistic here just realistic. Anyway going to pick up a big dose C_ialis for the next date and try to keep my nerves down by focussing on her and nothing but her. Hope it works, I'll let you guys know. Thanks again for the support, really do appreciate it guys!

 

Yes i intend to be very careful with it and build down. If i could just get a few decent sexual experiences with it I can build it off as confidence builds up. That's what my doctor told me too.

 

Moral and trigger alert.

So tonight I'm meeting with the girl i really want as a girlfriend again. Last time I was with her I suffered PIED. I've taken some actions to ensure greater success.
Yesterday I had sex with a prostitute. I got rockhard and managed to control cumming (grreat success in borat voice).
What I conclude from this is. With the hooker I had zero stress, I could care less about impressing her and it went great! So i believe it's about focus, if you're too worried about failing you set yourself up for failing. So my technique from now on will be focussing on being in the moment and enjoying eachother.
As an additional measure I went out and bought C_ialis. My god that was akward to buy and expensive as fuck. Fucking hell i near died. But i have it now.
I know a lot of you guys would'nt agree with these drastic measures but I did what I feel I have to do. I really really like this girl, and it's my first real shot at love I ever had, I'm not leaving any stones unturned on this one.
I'll let you guys know how tonight goes. If you don't hear from I probably had PIED again and jumped off a bridge or something.

Again thanks for the support, and keep your head up! Yes the little one too!

 

Yes ofcourse it was with a condom, i'm not retarded lol. I'm not morally for prostitution if it's merely out of lust but in my case I see it as medicinal. I tested the plumbing and it works perfectly fine which is a great relief and confidence booster for when I go to my real girl tonight.

I indeed really need to be able to handle emotions and all that stuff. I've so numb since my teen years, it's like everything regarding dating and women is new to me. But at least i feel more alive than ever before. So tonight i'm just gonna go, relax, connect, and let nature run it's course, hope all goes well

 

I'm confident that i'll not relapse again because after years of relapse I made a switch in mindset, now every single cell of my body wants to connect to real life women and is disgusted by porn. When I get an urge now, thoughts of kissing and connecting with a real life girl cross my mind whereas before it would've been porn. Mind you i'm still very concious about dangers and relapse potential, i do not take risks, i still meditate, avoid triggers and all that. It's just now my focus is 100% on connecting with the other sex in real life and I feel more alive than ever before. Out of that I conclude that I will never go back to pixels. Thanks for the concern though!

 

Nothing is ever 100% safe but condom is way up in the nineties, so can be considered "safe enough". I think it's safer to fuck a prostitute that always uses condoms than fucking the local slut who gets banged bare back by different men every weekend. As for the rushing into sex, I'm 24, the girl is too, where we live at this age you don't wait for too long to have sex, it's what you do starting from about 3rd date. Believe me I would've preferred to date her without having sex until I was rebooted but that's just not the way it goes. As for the focus as main thing in the relationship, you're right! We have been intimate in many ways, cuddling, kissing, sweet talk, shower together, sharing food etc. It's been the most beautiful weeks of my life so far. But sex remains an important part, I just want to be able to have sex properly. Thanks for the support!

 

Ok so last night, was sort of in between. Had trouble getting erection, did get one after all but lost it again. Did manage to have sex for few minutes though. So I see it as great progress but still akwardly bad. She's very sweet though and asked what the problem was. I told her I'm battling an old psychological issue that causes me to block sexual energy sometimes, didn't want to tell her the full truth about nofap, as it comes accross as pathetic to your average uninformed person. Anyway she was very understanding, I pleased her in other ways and we were very close and cuddly for the rest of the night. So it didn't go exactly as I had hoped but all things considered last night was a huge progress in my nofap journey. Just connecting in an intimate way with a girl is the most powerful way of getting porn and all that bad shit out of your mind, in the face of a real life connection, it all just fades away. I'm feeling alot more comftable with her now that I told her I do have an psychological issue that causes ED. I think this will take alot of pressure off me next time we get together and will hopefully lead to a proper erection. Thank you all for listening and supporting!