I broke up with my first girlfriend ever last year, I still keep her pictures on my laptop. Is this unhealthy when one is trying to move on and should I delete them?
The first relatioship is always important and hard to get over with. Try first saving the pictures in a hard disk, erase them from your computer and try not to ever look at them from your hard disk.
Personally I think it depends on how much that person meant to you. This is an insanely intimate topic, so I don't think anyone here can give you specific advice, unless you give out all the details (which I don't recommend doing). I don't really see the point in deleting her pictures, unless you of course can't control yourself and look them up every 3 minutes and thoughts about her don't leave for your days, yes, in that case it would be advisable to remove them. You have to find the right balance here. Of course you can go cold turkey and delete everything and forget her completely, but I don't think that's a good idea either. Just learn to keep the right distance. Just my 2 cents.
Difficult to say. I guess my original thought was yes throw them away but now that I think about it. If I had taken a polaroid or had a picture developed I would more than likely not throw it away. At the same time it would be in a photo album with past friends and family members. So I guess with modern technology it makes it so much easier to glance at an old relationship and hard to put in a closet. I think it's a good idea to make a CD of those photos but not just her. Put other photos on it too and then delete them from your computer. Then you'll have a photo album of memories. Good and bad. After a while things do become junk. I had a picture of my 4th grade football team. We never won a game. I never spoke to any of the guys I played with again. I would look at the photo every year and not throw it away but I finally got rid of it this year. I looked at it and accepted that was a bad memory and no one cares if I keep this or not. I'm glad I got rid of it. It was torn and had no value to me. Anyway that's my 2cents. Football team not the same as an ex.
^ This. While it's healthy to move on and forget those we're no longer with, we don't necessarily have to let go of the memories themselves unless they're causing us trouble. Old photos and such will probably be painful to you now - but they were steps in your journey to get you where you are today, and to where you'll be 10 years from now. So I suggest hanging on to them and just stick them on an external hard drive or CD for safe keeping, out of sight and out of mind - but not erased completely.
No you need erased it out completly, there is no point hanging in old memory, you have your time with her, now both of you need to move on, erased it doest meant you forget every good moment you share with her, its just show your resolute to continue your life, without her. If in the future both of you meet again, you should feel less awkward, and can start new beginning like 2 people who never met each other, however if you keep her photo forever, its will made you always remember her every single fucking days, so its dont help you anyways
@1996 : keep them, and look at one pic everyday for hours , do it for a week, then u would want to delete them without asking because you will find it extremely boring
I've kept all the photos I have of my former fiancée, in part because I'm not done fighting for her and in part because being with her was the first time I've felt really happy. They remind me I can be happy, they remind me how enormous my capacity to love is, they remind me that when I showed my true inner self to another person all I got back was love because the real me is worthy of love. And that makes me feel pretty good. However if you're trying to move on from her then keeping hold of a constant reminder might not be a good idea. At the same time don't erase every happy memory you have.
Yes. Delete them. I'm not sure a lot of people are aware, but keeping the pictures is a sort of psychological trigger. Every time you see the picture, subconsciously your mind goes back to the moments you had spent. I know for me it does. Even up to today, if I look at her picture I get teary. Also it raises your urges on two levels at least. The first level is the intimate level. Because you don't have her intimacy anymore it can sort of tie in with the depression. And generally the more depressed you are about life or the pressure you face, it can cause an overall backfire on you. The main thing you should focus on is moving on from that time in your life. Pictures will only take you back their and ignite those pieces that will just keep you held back. Delete them dude. In my head right now even if I think of my ex is bad, just imagine what the picture must be doing. Reply to the previous post right above mine....damn dude. It's been like 5 years and I still can't get my first outta my head. Life in a sense feels like one big rolling cage. So happy you didn't give up on her. Keep going dude!!
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I know you can't do this with photos on your laptop, but, when I had actual photos left remaining around my place I took them to my fireplace and burned them. It felt really good. A couple years later we met and she asked what I had done with our pictures. I told her I put a match to them. Her expression of total shock was priceless.
Photo's are a moment in your life captured for you to enjoy forever. For that reason it's alright to keep pictures of your ex-girlfriend. However if you look at them everyday and if you are stuck in the past, you are not acting in a healthy way. They are only for an occasional review if they bring you good memories, don't dwell on anything neagitive in the past. I'm glad I kept the pictures of my ex-girlfriends, I had some very attractive women in my life and it makes me proud that they were a part of my life. I don't consider myself good-looking, so it's nice to see that I was able to have beautiful girls in the past. Today I feel the same about my wife, she's pretty, and looks better than almost all the women I know that are her age.
