Male, 30, very recently signed up because I'm finally getting serious about beating my addiction. Porn has been part of my life for as long as I can remember using a mouse. In the past few months it's gotten really bad, compounding with stress at home, affecting my mood and performance at work, wiping out my sex drive, and now seriously impacting my relationship with my wife. I opened up to her about my addiction to Internet porn this week, after she finally pressed me for answers on why things have been so distant between us. It's been hard. I've never told anyone these things. There's this heavy cloud that's been hanging around our home for the last couple days. And the shame is unbelievable. I'm reflecting back on all the lies and sneaking around just to masturbate or watch videos, and it's awful. I really hurt my wife's self-esteem, and it's going to take a while to win her trust back. Understandably, she's gotten very upset with all this, yelled at me a bunch, cried a bunch. But when the raw emotions subside, she's been surprisingly supportive, trying to understand what I'm going through, and listening without judging (too much, anyway). She was actually the one who pointed me to the NPR story on NoFap, and now here I am. I'm starting off with a challenge to go porn-free in September (and today, 31 August). Today went as well as I could've expected. The urges were strong, really strong. Images and flashbacks of my "favorites" were running wild in my brain at times. But I held out. One day down. I'm only doing PM-mode because I want to be able to be intimate with my wife again, when she's ready too. I'm incredibly lucky to still have her love and support, but I'm going to need all the help I can get. I know this almost lifelong addiction isn't going to go away in a month. Here's to hoping I can turn things around and save my marriage.
Please save your marriage man.If guys without a girlfriend or a wife can do it, you can do it too.You have a hell of a reason to quit. And remember that you will benefit in many ways.Not only your relationship will be healthy again, many other aspects of your life will improve too.
Similar situation here man. Im 26 with in a long term relationship. I haven't opened up to her about it yet, but stress is definitely one of my triggers. Between the responsibilities of work and home it just became my go to habit to unwind. I never thought of it as a problem until the last 4 years when I noticed it taking a toll on my life. Personal goals were pushed aside, my work got sloppy and my relationship hit some low points and it all just added to my stress. Trying to do something about it now!
Thanks for the support, guys. I've tried kicking the addiction before, but I never seeked out a community like this. Just knowing I'm not alone helps so much. I'm on day 3 of 30 and I'm feeling good. Still get urges and images flashing in my brain, but I've held out. Small success so far, but I've got to start somewhere. Just need to keep building on it.
And yea, I didn't recognize how bad the problem had gotten either. Reflecting on it now, my addiction has reached out and tainted every aspect of my life, in ways both large and small. Turning things around from a years-long addiction won't be quick and easy, but recognizing the effects on the people around me gives me that extra bit of motivation to finally conquer this. Good luck, dude. Keep posting in this thread to let me know how you're doing.
Your wife's support is certainly greater than the one you will get on this forum, but the most important thing is your own attitude and determination. You're probably aware of that, I'm just saying this. Of course being able to share with others can be helpful, too. So yeah, good success!
I'm in a serious relationship as well and having the support of my girlfriend has made a major difference in me fighting this. Glad you came here to this community to fight this addiction! Can't wait to hear about the progress you will be making
Between the support of your wife and this community, you will be able to beat this addiction sooner than you might think. The changes it's made to your brain and life will take some time to heal, but there is no reason why you can't do this without a single relapse. If you do relapse, the two most important things will be to forgive yourself and apologize to your wife. You don't want this to become a secret again. Painful as accountability may be, it is better than secrets.
You're right. I need to be able to man up and tell her when I slip up. It'd definitely sting, but it'd be better than hiding it again. Thanks for the support.
