Something to strive for in life other than sex/porn

I'm also trying not to be a sexual person so I understand what you are saying.

I'm still looking for something meaningful in my life as well other than thinking about sex. I now want to be a lifelong virgin because PMO really f'ed me up when it comes to sex and women but yeah I'm still looking for something meaningful.

 

Well guys have you considered that "sexual" attraction can be intellectual? Maybe you have more energy and concentration to develop yourself mentally, and that will attract a whole other kind of women. Maybe sex is involved but there may be more, it could be the whole person.

I mean given a choice, would you rather be with a woman that's dumb and hot or smart and hot? Would you rather be wanted by the dumb one or the smart one?

 

I don't understand what you're asking.

 

Wouldn't a woman that is both smart and attractive be more interesting than one that is only physically attractive? And the same goes for you - so if you don't fap as much, which seems to help with concentration and so you can develop your mind, you can be smarter and attract women who are also smarter.

 

Yeah I guess so.

But I want to be a virgin forever because sex to me is a distraction.

Life is better, my mind is more open when I don't think about sex and PMO.

 

That's certainly one way to go, I was thinking of the OP actually.

 

Its not that there is only sexual benefit when you quit pmo, there are lots of other effects, in general when you are addicted to it most of the time you are focused on that thing only, once you quit you can focus on your professional life, academic life, etc. why just considering the sexual life..
Its all about pmo which direct effect your brain, brain in involved in every part of life...
May be the primary benefits are related to sexual life but you can't ignore all other secondary and tertiary effect of quitting porn....
Everyone here is fighting with pmo not just because they want to sexually active, someone is lonely, someone is in depression, someone's performance is academics is extreme low, someone's is not able to complete college degree and so on there are many stories..read them you will find what they are fighting for...every fight is not about sex and women..the hardest battle is for ourselves with ourselves within ourselves where looser and winner both are you only..........

 

Get a life - Yes! Music, Arts, hobbies, books, Meet up groups, yoga, tai chi, community outreach, learning languages, dancing, sports, travel. Life has so many things to offer, so go for it. Sex is no great defining activity - dogs can hump in the street, so what. Life is more than things going in and out of holes. Challenge yourself to do something new that involves interacting with people at least once a week.

Be Strong Brothers.

 

It's just for me, sex has been a distraction through thinking about it over and over (I have ocd) and PMO really f'ed me up as well.

When I quit pmo, obviously it is easier not to think about it. Life is just easier for me when I don't think about sex so that is why I want to be a virgin for life (even though there is a social stigma attached to it).
So I guess not. I don't want any relationship or partner at all.

 

We all have a gap inside of us. Some people fill it with money. Some people fill it with fast cars or a bottle of vodka. We tell ourselves that if I just get from A to B then I will finally be "happy".

Well, we get to point B (better car/boob job) and we realize we just need to get to point C. It's a cycle.

I used to be the same way with my life. I would lie to myself and just say wow if I had that, then I would really be happy. It's a vicious way to live and it breeds anxiety and unrealistic and unhealthy expectations.

I'm not saying I'm better than you. I still struggle with this and I think a lot of us do. If I could give you some advice I would say find something that is bigger than yourself. Something bigger than more money or a better body. These things really are fleeting.

For me it was finding God and growing a relationship with Him. It doesn't have to be a religious thing though.

Pick up a hobby. Something where you can see measurable growth. Keep trying new things until you find what sticks. I'm 24 and eventually found out (last month) that I love wood carving. Instead of focusing on my addictions I'm starting to focus on wood carving. It may seem silly but it really does help.

Last thing I can say is enjoy the little things. Life is short. Make yourself a cup of warm tea and savor it. Step outside and take a deep breath. Look at the beauty of nature.

When we find things that are bigger than ourselves we tend to see just how silly some of our pursuits are. You are strong and you can do this. Don't give up. Developing yourself is a journey and not a destination.

Hope this helps.

-CA