Hey there. As I said in other threads i'm a 17 y.o female. My problem isn't P-related but it is about Compulsive M. It's quite a lifelong thing and I could be doing it from 3-15 times a day, sometimes with Psubs, sometimes with nothing at all, just for the sake of it. I don't have anything planned but when I finish my 90-day reboot I don't think I'm gonna restrain myself from M-ing, but I will just do it maybe one or two times a week so I can live it healthily. I don't think M itself is a vice but the compulsiveness and addiction is. What do you think? I want to know your opinion and advice.
I agree with you, but some on here wont. You are spot on that it is the addiction to M that is the downfall of MO on it's own as opposed to PMO. My problem in recent years hasn't been P so much as M-ing too much. I haven't used P at all for about 6 months, maybe more, it is completely out of my life. But I use M as a substitute for real relationships, I M rather than getting out and meeting real women. Clearly this is bad. At the moment I'm trying to vastly reduce my amount of M with some success. I feel better for it, more in control, I've noticed women noticing me and I successfully asked a girl out although that won't be going any further for various reasons. If I can become confident in myself, connect with real women, form real relationships and live a normal successful life then I won't care if I also fap once a week or so - I don't think that is a problem. My advice to you is to stick to your 90 day reboot, no M at all (although I am a hypocrit for saying this, because I have relapsed and M'd twice in the last 3 weeks, but that's far better than multiple times a day as it was until recently). Once done, focus on the sexual relationship you really want, and go and find it. As a 17f you have loads of options, even if it doesn't feel like it. Find what makes you happy, and if you still M occasionally then no big deal
The problem with addicts is that, USUALLY, that's not going to happen. They are just going to fall back in the addiction, with no self-control. But if you want to take the risk, all power to you ma friend
I agree with this, but I think it is important to understand WHY someone has a compulsion to M. For me, it is/was about lonliness and lacking a real relationship. When I was in a reasonably stable committed relationship a couple of years ago I didn't PMO at all and I didn't M much because I was happy and was getting sex. So for me, as I said in my first post if I can sort my life out then M-ing occasionally won't be a problem. But I agree that doing nothing to change, and telling yourself you will just M occasionally, is likely to lead you back to where you started.
Dopamine. If you're getting it from somewhere else ( being happy with a partner, sex, etc ), you'll probably won't get addicted to porn. But if your life is in total misery ( i may be exagerating a bit ), your brain will want dopamine, and if you find out the pleasure driven from porn and masturbation, you're off to a one-way trip to addiction.
Well, first of all, it is a myth that you will 'finish your reboot in 90 days'. People vary greatly and there is no way that 'one size fits all'. You might reboot a little quicker than this, but in almost all cases it will be longer, sometimes MUCH longer! Okay, I can understand that. But neither is drinking alcohol a vice and most do it responsibly. But for someone that's been a lifelong binge drinker - would it be wise for them to say, "I don't think I'm gonna restrain myself!" We can all see where that will lead. Sex more compelling than drinking alcohol. You will have to restrain yourself if you return to it at all. I think @CuriousOrange makes a good point - WHY do you masturbate compulsively? An honest appraisal of that may also indicate caution. For example, he use masturbation as a substitute for real relationships. As a teenager such real relationships may not occur for some time. You may also face negative emotions which you may use masturbation to cope with. I would advise you not to predict your future. Just concentrate on staying clean for the next few months.
My reboot doesn't make me only rewire my brain, it also makes me change my habits, grow as a person and stop thinking like an addict.
Well, good luck I have already ended my 90 NoFapChallenge but I'm still going because: 1. Why not ? 2. I'm not sure if i M again i could do it in a healthy way 3. I worked so much for this record, I'm not going to throw it away *like that*. 4. Unfortunatelly, I'm the same as i was when i started NoFap ( except that i don't M or watch P ), so i obviously still have a lot of things to work on, and if i start PMO again, it will ruin the progress. 5. I'm not in a flatline, but Im not interested in M and P like i was before ? If i see a hot girl ( in real life, or in the internet by accident ), i just don't M If it was a couple months back, i see a hot girl ( mainly on the internet ), i would IMMEDIATELY start fapping, because i was that desperate ( and bored ). 6. Because M makes a mess, and I don't want to clean it afterwards. 7. My genetalia smells like shit for 2 days straight, even with shower. 8. Chaser effect really scares me ( goes along with point 2. ) 9. I get REALLY anxious before ( and during ) M. I don't know if it is supposed to be that way, but my heart would be beating really fast, faster than when working out. 10. I shouldn't mess up what is working for me ! I'm not PMO'ing, and I'm doing alright. Maybe I'm missing out on a good M session ? But hey ... just 5 seconds of O, who cares ?
This is an issue I often think about. I keep going back to the fact that I was "managing" my addiction before, and failing miserably at it. I don't know if it's possible to manage an addiction. Most of us just have to cut it out completely.
