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withdrawls and girls

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by I_will_be_free, Jun 8, 2014.

  1. Jun 8, 2014 #1
    I_will_be_free

    I_will_be_free Fapstronaut

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    So I have a question... has anyone been in this place before?

    Porn was an awesome bandaid for the lack of dating in my life. Lonely? Check out the hot chick with beautiful eyes on some porn website... Frustrated? repeat the previous experience.... bla bla bla....

    Now, I'm in this place of freedom. I mean, I haven't looked at porn for 12 days. I haven't M'ed in 12 DAYS!!!! It's like one of my greatest personal achievements ever. Before this I think I M'ed once a week at LEAST. In times of stress, it was waaaaaay more often.

    Now, in terms of girls, I've not had a whole lot of action in my life. I would blame this, in part (or the majority of it) to porn. I mean, I could go to it whenever I needed a fix to feel better *in the moment*. Later I'd feel bad for days, but still it was a way of soothing a wound if you will.

    Now, I'm in a new place. Feeling free(er) than I have in a very long time. Every fiber of my being is screaming to date a girl. Only problem is, there's not a lot that fit the bill. There have been times of my life where I had more girls to pick from, but at this point, the pickings are slimmer, and I'm in graduate school and holding down a full time job. So my free time to date/explore is relatively slim.

    Normally, this wouldn't be a problem because I'd just go PMO and feel better (again, this is in the moment). Now, that's not an option.

    So today, I was stuck in a cycle... I want to go on a date, realize I don't have a lot of options/free time, then think of porn. I feel crappy that there's nobody to ask out, then I want to look at porn again. It's like some sort of self-torture withdrawal.

    Has anyone experienced this? What do you do to help with it?
     
    I_will_be_free, Jun 8, 2014
    I_will_be_free, Jun 8, 2014
    #1
  2. Jun 8, 2014 #2
    Geyser

    Geyser Fapstronaut

    3,703
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    Congratulations on reaching 12 days. I-will_be_free,

    May I suggest you have a time management problem and not an options problem. We all have the same 168 hours in a week. It's what you do with those hours that make the difference between the successful and the unsuccessful. Grab a pen/pencil and a sheet of paper, what are those? :p, and write down all you time expenditures. And I mean EVERYTHING from your morning routine before you leave for work/school to hour many hours you sleep a night. You should find you have more available time then you realize. If you don't, rare but it happens, you have to prioritize your efforts and see where you can cut from somewhere to gain somewhere else, like tv time or internet time. You probably have 5-10 hours a week you waste on nothing. We all do.

    Try this and see if you can carve out some time to find yourself a new girlfriend.

    Good Luck,
    Geyser
     
    Geyser, Jun 8, 2014
    Geyser, Jun 8, 2014
    #2
  3. Jun 8, 2014 #3
    Nevafapagain

    Nevafapagain Fapstronaut

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    Yo man we are doing and dealing with the same stuff! Just do what Geyser said, be bolder, and get out there! best of luck!
     
    Nevafapagain, Jun 8, 2014
    Nevafapagain, Jun 8, 2014
    #3

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