Hi all. I'm a newbie to this website and I'm very thankful I have discovered it. When I was young (approx. 17-25) I did some research on M and P and found articles/videos saying that there is nothing wrong with it and that every guy does it. So I can probably say that M and P have been part of my life since I was about 13 - until now - which would be about 18 years. My actual sex experience with women are very limited. Due to me being Asian living in a Caucasian dominated society since I was 10, I have not really had many girlfriends and I feel not many girls are attracted to me. The only girl that I have ever been in love with was not comfortable with having sex before marriage, so we didn't do it while we were in a relationship. It is only until the last year or two I have been running into literature saying that M & P have negative effects. In particular the Asian Efficiency website. It seems like I have gotten myself into a negative feedback loop, going from lack of relationships to resorting to M&P which causes even more barrier to finding a relationship. My longest NoFap so far has probably been about a month or 1.5 months. My most recent NoFap is about 2/3 weeks. I'm here to seek some feedback, talk to others with similar experiences and perhaps advice about what to do regarding my single life. Look forward to hearing from everyone. Cheers,
Hey NoFapAsian, I think you just gotta have faith and keep going at this first. During that 3 months I tried rebooting, the effects I found were really something I didn't expect - it was true that I got more notice from the girls around me. Of course, it could just be because I was more conscious of the social dynamics around when my mind became clearer. Or that I became less self-conscious, sorta in that 'fuck it' attitude, which made it easier to talk to the girls. I think bottomline is, when you shift your focus to the people and opportunities that are out there, you can definitely change yourself. But in saying all that, it's really still a mammoth task for me nowadays. Hope that you can go the distance!
Hi NoFapAsian and welcome to this forum! I'm in the middle of my 90 day reboot right now and some quick pointers are 1) set your goals 2)set personal rules and be strict with yourself 3) there is a wealth of information on this forum and elsewhere on the science behind pmo 4)find someone who you trust to keep you accountable and 5) realize that this is a process and journey not a race. There is a lot more stuff and I'm not an expert. Most of what I know I learned from others who have walked the recovery process before me. And about your ethnic background and being an ethic minority, I think ultimately love is color-blind so it doesn't and shouldn't matter what your background is as long as two people mutually love each other any thing or obstacle can be overcome. I know this is easy to say but growing up in California with so many different ethic groups my upbringing has helped me to realize that we are all seeking the same thing in the end which is love. Good luck!
Thank you hope2013. I've been watching a lot of Nofap academy and Sacred sexuality project channel on Youtube. One of the things they said that really hit me was "Quitting M is not hard. You basically just have to do nothing". And since then I pretty much followed that advice. Do nothing. And somehow it's been 40 days since I last M. Perhaps the longest record since I was 13. I will update you guys at the 90 day mark and see what happens. So far I have noticed I have done alot more work since I stopped fapping. I'm more productive and energetic. Even my parents have been saying to me you seem to have a lot of energy.
Hi all. Really excited about reaching over half way of 90 day challenge. I discovered an old USB drive with porn on it and just deleted all of it without hesitation. Very proud of myself. At the moment I am pretty confident that I will never Fap again. It's just not real. Why lie to yourself. Anyway can't wait till I reach 90 days and discover the full benefits.
Felt a slight urge to go back to my old habits just then and thought I'd share it. Heard a little voice in my head saying "it's okay, you haven't done it in a while". But as soon as I thought of the word "NoFap" the urge was gone. The magic word, NoFap Cheers all,
Hi, have you been over to the main forums? There's lots of perspectives in there. Get stuck in and help and be helped just by making an honest contribution. Stay strong and all the very best to you
nearly hitting the 60 day mark. Experiencing a few episodes of urges but didn't give in. Feeling like I've got this down and can definitely get to a successful reboot.
Good for you, NoFapAsian, keep going. You control you. Just remember that. Keep posting, you are an inspiration to all of us who have struggled.
Happy new year everyone. 60 days of nofap as the new year starts, my longest streak ever. Will definitely keep this going and see where life takes us. So far have been doing amazingly well productivity and fitness wise. I wish everyone all the best on their nofap journey in 2014.
Hey y'all. Reached the 70 day mark and thought I'd post an update, since I've been getting some messages about what it's like to be on 70 days. Firstly thank you all for the encouragement and the group effort to quit PMO. Could not have done it without you. It hasn't been an easy journey (and I know there will be more obstacles later). But I do believe I got over the hump and now I feel it is easier not to Fap than it is to Fap. Some of the benefits include not getting tired, more concentration, which will help with other areas of life. Also I discovered I'm not thinking about women as much. Before when I was a PMO addict, I used to fantasise about women all the time, which doesn't help because women run away from you as soon as they feel you're desperate. Now without PMO I'm able to focus on other things and realise that there is a purpose to life other than women. For those of you who are still fighting to get over the hump, good luck and I really hope you can do it. Will post another update at 90 days. Cheers all.
Hi all. Thought I would update you guys after completing 90 days of NoFap, on each area of my life, so hopefully the newbies can see the benefits and the masters can comment if necessary. 1) Love life: Started getting a few coffee dates. Was dateless for along time (perhaps P induced?) but managed to get a girl to go on a date with me - even though we felt no chemistry, at least there was enough initial attraction for her to accept the date. Getting a few more comments saying that "you look good" or "something's different" from friends and colleagues. Still single but things are looking up. Getting back onto the Internet dating scene and have received a few potential suitors. 2) Fitness: Getting bulkier from having spent more time at the gym. Lifting heavier weights and do not get tired as easily. Training martial arts every morning and generally feeling fitter. 3) Work: Have a lot more energy to do work. Almost never get tired from working anymore. The end of each day comes a lot quicker now - where as before I was always hoping for the day to be over quicker, now I usually get stuck into the work and don't even realise the day was over. 4) General life attitude: Feeling very positive. Talking with a loud / energetic / uplifting voice. Not getting into any arguments and never feel upset about anything. Areas for improvement: 1) Still finding that I procrastinate a fair bit - go on facebook etc. Need to truly focus on the task at hand. 2) Have been trying to slow down my eating speed for a while - still have a tendency to swallow too quickly and not chewing the food enough. That's it really. Happy with pretty much every other area of my life. If I can do it, you can too. Cheers,
