Purpose of this Forum/Choosing Struggle

MelancholyWeightlifter · Jul 6, 2014

I've seen in the past couple of weeks 3 different threads asking whether or not it was "ok" to masturbate while rebooting. Let me just remind everybody of something. Please, look up to your address bar. This site is called NOFAP. Of course we know porn is bad, but it is dangerous to think masturbation is somehow less destructive and even acceptable during this challenge. If you continue to masturbate through this journey you're just shooting yourself in the foot. it still releases dopamine, worsening addiction. It's still reinforcing the psychology of instant gratification, selfishness, lack of self-control and auto-eroticism.

This brings me to my more philosophical reasoning. It is incredibly important to CHOOSE STRUGGLE to grow as a person. Now this isn't inflicting self harm or searching for suffering like a masochist. It's choosing GOOD goals that require EFFORT. Our collective goal here is a great example. So many shrink back from this journey because it is hard. But I say hard things are the only things worth doing! Choosing to masturbate during your journey here is choosing the path of least resistance. It's self sparing and will stunt your recovery. I did it, it was simple, I quit porn while masturbating and it was WAY easier then quitting masturbation. I knew deep down my battle wasn't finished, the enemy was only half vanquished. Anything worth doing is worth doing ALL THE WAY. Not half way, not just porn but ALLLLLL THE WAY! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36CYMdFmDeQ

215 · Jul 7, 2014

well said bro.
I'm having hard time understanding fapping nofappers..

OSU32 · Jul 7, 2014

Spot on!!!

the_count · Jul 10, 2014

MelancholyWeightlifter said: ↑

It is incredibly important to CHOOSE STRUGGLE to grow as a person.
Click to expand...

Insightful, my friend, very insightful.

dbubman · Jul 18, 2014

MelancholyWeightlifter said: ↑

I've seen in the past couple of weeks 3 different threads asking whether or not it was "ok" to masturbate while rebooting. Let me just remind everybody of something. Please, look up to your address bar. This site is called NOFAP. Of course we know porn is bad, but it is dangerous to think masturbation is somehow less destructive and even acceptable during this challenge. If you continue to masturbate through this journey you're just shooting yourself in the foot. it still releases dopamine, worsening addiction. It's still reinforcing the psychology of instant gratification, selfishness, lack of self-control and auto-eroticism.

This brings me to my more philosophical reasoning. It is incredibly important to CHOOSE STRUGGLE to grow as a person. Now this isn't inflicting self harm or searching for suffering like a masochist. It's choosing GOOD goals that require EFFORT. Our collective goal here is a great example. So many shrink back from this journey because it is hard. But I say hard things are the only things worth doing! Choosing to masturbate during your journey here is choosing the path of least resistance. It's self sparing and will stunt your recovery. I did it, it was simple, I quit porn while masturbating and it was WAY easier then quitting masturbation. I knew deep down my battle wasn't finished, the enemy was only half vanquished. Anything worth doing is worth doing ALL THE WAY. Not half way, not just porn but ALLLLLL THE WAY! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36CYMdFmDeQ
Click to expand...

Thanks for that. Like I said I haven't been fapping. I was just curious about the effects of fapping. Totally agree that while rebooting it's probably better not to do it. I was curious about some opinions on fapping itself. What were people taught? what do people know scientifically and experientially? In this process I have questions about desire and my relationship with my body? Thanks for your contribution!

Audaz · Jul 18, 2014

Nice thoughts bro.

MelancholyWeightlifter · Jul 18, 2014

Thought provoking questions indeed dbubman.

Strictly physically, there is really no harm in masturbating in moderation. High amounts can really mess with you though. If you're doing 5 times a day you can expect physical and physiological harm.

To move into the mental, emotional and spiritual side, I argue there are adverse consequences to even occasional masturbation.

Some religions teach that it is a sin, so that can be a driving factor for some. Even if it wasn't considered sin I think it hinders spiritual growth. I won't linger on that though, that's up to you to decide about religion.

I think mentally it still reinforces the attitude that sex is for personal pleasure. Your brain relates your hand with sex, which is far from ideal. It engenders auto-eroticism. In my opinion this is dangerous thinking.

Emotionally Sex should be about forming a connection with someone else. It should be about expressing love.

Geyser · Jul 18, 2014

Well said Melancholy Weightlifter.

Nothing worth while is ever easy. Awesome video btw.

Geyser

coolmike87 · Jul 18, 2014

noFAP! i agree. alot of people trying this out or just stopping porn or idk... the point is to stop fapping and stop watching porn as a given

Squeaky Soul · Jul 21, 2014

Agreed! those are some deep words of wisdom!

~Squeaky Soul

sasukexx17 · Jul 21, 2014

i have been fapping 5 times everyday for a month now , it was phucking me up ! decided to stop ! found this great site to help me

Main motivation = have great sex with gf

hellfire2 · Jul 24, 2014

I completely agree with the struggle. I also agree nofap is the ultimate way to live sexually. However even you melancholy admit you needed to quit porn first while masturbating. . It's baby steps guy's... Let's not try take on too much at once it will get you no where. I know after 4 years of struggling with addiction myself.
I am sick of this almost impossible abstaining just to end up binging myself into a deeper whole. . That is not recovery! !
Porn is like alcoholism. .Once you start you lose all control and edge for hours. . Masturbating we have some control. Still addictive tho.
My advice focus on Porn first then masturbating.

MelancholyWeightlifter · Jul 24, 2014

I tried quitting both though. And I succeeded in greatly reducing the frequency of masturbation. It was just so much harder to quit for me. Even if you're not successful, never make the decision to masturbate. Always TRY.

IWantABetterLife22 · Jul 24, 2014

I have to disagree with you, MW. Like Yoda said, "Do or do not, there is no try." "Trying" not to relapse implies there's a possibility of relapse. Just don't relapse. This is harder than it sounds, but it's possible. I know I'm one to talk, but I'm getting better everyday. And your streak is awesome man! Way to go!

Also, you're right about the no masturbation thing. There may come a day when we can masturbate healthily every now and then, but that day is not this day because we're addicts. An alcoholic cannot have just one drink because they can't handle it like a non-alcoholic. Masturbation, to the addicted mind, can lead to porn viewing. Just be safe and don't masturbate friends.

MelancholyWeightlifter · Jul 24, 2014

I totally agree betterlife. That fact is, I always "tried" before my current streak. Now though I have definitely adopted your same attitude. That was really the difference, it's just not an option anymore. My main point is that when trying to quit porn, never make that decision to masturbate, thinking it will somehow make it easier. I'm a bad example, because although I didn't make that choice, I still did it. I will say though, I went over a month cold turkey on PMO as a whole, I just slipped into M again, though that was very inconsistent.

hellfire2 · Jul 24, 2014

I'm sorry but i respectfully disagree. In my own experience i can control masturbation. I saw therapist a few years back and she recommended it without use of porn fantasy. We are all different. When i watched porn I edged for hours every relapse it would take me back to square 1 or worse. Now I will focus on clearing my mind of porn then i will quit masturbation. They are not hand in hand for me. I agree this is not for everyone but for me this works.
We are all after the same outcome no porn and no masturbation I'm just taking different route there.
We will see where we all end up.

hellfire2 · Jul 24, 2014

If you would like to know my method to stop watching porn it is this. I call it the killswitch.
As I feel the dangerzone coming (for me it's going to bed)I masturbate without porn or porn fantasy it kills any urge for porn for the next 2 hours. Then I can sleep. My body will slowly learn that it's not getting the reward of porn and urges will dissipate. Then once I'm ready I will also remove masturbation. I reckon after a month of no porn.

As I said before this not for everyone. This is for the people who have tried to quit both but have had no success after numerous attempts and find themselves getting worse not better. if you are using the normal method of quitting and having success stick with it.

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