30 days in, benefits? :/

Keep going man, it's really hard, you plateau and stuff but you gotta hit that 90 days. You're doing good

 

Hmmm... Maybe you simply are the lone-wolf type. The question is: are you ok with that or do you want to change it? I'm not saying there's anything bad with prefering to be by yourself if that is what makes you happy in the long run. But if you don't want to be like that, you will have to act.

To me it sounds a little as if you were hoping that NoFap would do all the work for you and just by staying away from PMO you would magically become more social, more in shape and more focused. The thing is though, changing yourself is still hard work, NoFap is just a way to facilitate it. I'm over 90 days now and I still have trouble concentrating. I used to indulge in these hour long distractions when I actually had to get work done but now I catch myself much faster. I think this comes from NoFap because the act of catching myself thinking about sex / fapping is very similar and I sure got a lot of practice with that over the past 3 months. Now this practice is spilling over to catching myself being lazy. It's all about teaching yourself self-control.

As for your goal of having more energy: you won't feel this if you never let it out. I was sick for the past 2 weeks and didn't go to the gym. I felt very down and weak in general and starting thinking "where did all the energy go I used to have during the past 3 months?". Then I pulled myself up and went to the gym again and BAM it was all back! I guess I just don't notice it as long as I'm only hanging out on the couch.

 

Dude I read you loud and clear. You see, I myself am in the same situation. You dont do nofap for focus. You do it to cut out masturbation and porn. You read self help books to improve social skills. Focus is a muscle. You develop it by meditation. You workout to gain energy.

Nofap is not the solution to our life. You yourself have to work on your skills. You have to control your procrastination by understanding reasons for it. Procrastination is not being lazy. Its being afraid of failure, afraid of being judged or sometimes even fear of success. Read "the now habit" by neil fiore and you will understand what I am trying to say. Nofap is not a magic pill. Its just you controlling yourself in one domain. It gives you confidence that you can control yourself in another domains.

Read this too "http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=15558.0"

If you are much of a miser like me, here is the link to "the now habit"
"http://www.slideshare.net/mobile/sahilwhiteday/the-now-habit-by-neil-a-fiore-full-book-free

 

hey Big Dreamer, just to comment on the working out part of your post, I disagree that for you to workout is pointless. I'm a skinny guy like you, never able to gain weight (either fat or muscle). But you should work out. First, it will help you with avoiding PMO. Second, if you are looking for more energy, vigorous physical working out will do wonders. I would recommend lifting weights (go heavy, but don't sacrifice form) and avoid too much cardio.

Honestly, the amount of protein in semen is very small. Not enough to impact your weight gain goals. What I do believe is that P consumption ultimately decreases testosterone (some conflicting info on the web about this, but I believe it does harm T levels). Testosterone has a huge impact on your ability to gain muscle. So if you haven't been working out for the past 30 days since you stopped PMO, you should give it a try because you may see better results. Of course, increasing T is a two edged sword, it will help you gain muscle but also increases your libido, which can be rough when trying to stop PMO.

If you ever want to talk about muscle building for hard gainers, let me know.

 

Hey BigDreamer, BTW. I lift weights and I am currently 193 lbs. I can tell you that if you are not gaining weight, you are quite literally not eating enough food guys. The math is simple. It's Calories in VS. Calories out. If you are both 150 lbs for instance -

150 lbs say you workout 5x a week 1 hour a day + Jog 3 times a week for 1 hour a day. You are going to burn about 4500 calories a week in exercise alone. Your bodies still have "X" amount of calories to maintain themselves just by living from random functions like breathing, digesting ect. Let's say that's 2,000 calories a day for simplicity. This means that in order to simply "maintain" that 150 lbs, you need to eat 14,000 calories [2,000 calories a day] PLUS 4,500 [divided out by 7 days = 643 calories per day].

So for you to maintain that 150 lbs, you need to eat 2,642 calories every single day whether you lift + do cardio or not. That is simply to MAINTAIN your body weight. If your goal is to gain 2 lbs a week you need to eat MORE than your "maintenance" calories which in this case is 2,643 calories per day, by 350 calories. For easy numbers sake lets call it a simple 3,000 calories per day.

I am willing to bet at 150 lbs you will struggle to eat 3,000 calories per day. Even if you eat "junk" food you will still struggle. Don't forget this is just a starting point. You very well could need MORE calories if your metabolism is truly higher. That number jumps easily to 3,500 if you need 2,500 + your expended calories from lifting + cardio.

So - if you want to gain weight, and you aren't, it IS because you are not eating enough. I can promise you that. Unless you are on drugs you WILL gain weight if you eat enough. There is no exception to this rule.

 

Bigdreamer, you are misguided to think that the amount of protein [if any] withdrawn in semen is causing your lack of weight gaining. Also there is no such thing as "too skinny to gain muscle." Start pounding the food and lift weights. you will gain muscle [and fat because you literally cannot gain one without the other].

 

NoFap is neither the magic wand nor the silver bullet - neither of these exist. It is a strategy to allow us to be more free to do what we want and be who we are not distorted by pornography addiction which hijacks the brain and makes us live our lives according to someone else's agenda - the pornographers who push this stuff. Of course nature has made sex super interesting and appealing but it was never meant to be available 24/7 with an unlimited number of incredible girls doing exactly what you want with no effort or commitment on your part. Sex (as we are meant to experience it) involves another human being and hence involves relationship, communication, negotiation and understanding. This takes more effort and isn't so instantly pleasing - but is much better for our psyche and social functioning in the long run. So having got pmo out of the picture we can start actualising who we are or who we want to be. This involves a measure of self knowledge and both living with the reality of our personalities and striving to evolve to who we aspire to be. I have found the Myres Briggs test incredibly helpful in understanding myself. There are heaps of online versions but here is one though maybe not even the best...

http://www.freepersonalitytest.info/index.php

Myers Briggs is a complex and comprehensive way of understanding yourself with impressive real world authentication. Once you understand yourself you can start living with that and maximising your powers. Some people are very social, others less so. Quiting pmo won't necessarily change that but it should unmask your real personality and allow you to be who you are and adjust both behaviour and expectations to your unique and special personality. Understanding yourself means living with some limitations but also knowing where you can make changes to achieve what you want. For example people with a strong tendency to introversion need to know that its ok to prefer your own company a lot of the time but also know the benefits of that. See Susan Cain's excellent Ted Talk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0KYU2j0TM4

So know yourself, be yourself, learn to love yourself and don't let pmo get in the way and screw you up!

Good luck to the real you!