sex frequency question

Bad toddlers makes good teenagers... Good toddlers makes not so great teens.
Just my observation

 

I showed my SO the vx wife test.
He said it's mandatory for getting better.
You need that mindset vs parental guide settings. (obviously he has that too) but so you never test the fence.
You need to feel comfortable with knowing that your wife can see everything at any point and it be fine.
He's apparently been doing that for awhile.
He said it's very helpful.

 

Wait for it...
They have girlfriends?

 

Sad.

 

All well and good.... But they can't act out if they aren't having those emotions.
It's not a bad thing though. My stepson is going down hard and fast.
Had to curb him.
Haha
Not his fault..
He's got 4 parents and we don't all share the same views and values

 

Yeah
.
You gotta wonder if it effects genetics... I mean, drugs do

 

We noticed it in one of ours and had a Talk right away.
No longer a issue and now he's much more aware of women and asking good questions about the world and appreciative of the fact that TV is fake.
These were eye opening complexes to him.
Glad we did it.

 

Interesting.
But question...
I'm a recovered (using loosely) drug addict of 17 years.
I went from drug to drug to drug... To cigarettes to vaping to clean... Not porn, but I have vices.
So I here's my question.... No addiction on either side of my family.
How is this?
Because I have been asked, so I asked.
I also suffer recovering anorexia, and other pain modules.
None of this, going up at least 3 generations on either side of my family.
How does this fit your theory?

 

I'm familiar with genetic matrixing. I just didn't think that is where you were driving it, specifically.
Nice, I like it.
So you think it's hardwired.
Cool.

 

My 18 year old was an amazing kid and still is. Toddler years were great, early years were great..the only real problem I ever had was the tween years. Ages 8-12 I got a lot of attitude and eye rolling and huffing and puffing. I was terrified of the teen years. As soon as 13 hit, the kid was golden. Best teen you could ask for. My other one was more difficult as a little one...tween hasn't been too bad...so far. We shall see. Lol

 

hello everyone! i have a question: ive just recently started to try to get out of this vicious cycle called P. and M.
For me the reason was that i got completely desensityzed to real sex, not in a not cumming kind of way, but in a not interested kind of way. The main porblem here is that my girlfriend of 4 years is obviously and understandably getting fed up with me not bieng as sexual as i was before it got so bad. For us it has become a matter of once a month if lucky. Does anybody have a problem like that? if so, has stopping P and M helped anyone in any way to getting back to normal libido with gf?

 

Yes.

 

Not yet but I will see. I was having sec once a month or so too, and so far without P and M for 10 dayslibido has been the same or less.

 

Thanks bro. that keeps the hope up.

 

This thread depresses me seeing how many times everyone else is having sex. My wife and I have sex once a week and half the time she’s not even into it. definitely one of the reasons why I was watching porn.

 

so don't let this thread depress you. the SOs here are WONDERFUL in every possible way, but they do not form a representative sample of the population. The SOs here are way more sex positive, IMO than the average married wife bear. (I had a thread that pondered this months ago.) From my very unscientific observations, the more important sex is to a SO, the more she is hurt by our PA and the more likely she is to be here. that could all be utter BS - but it makes a little bit of sense. my wife, maybe like yours, is ok with or without sex (she recently told me this explicitly). and she says my PA has nothing to do with her, is no reflection on her. and she claims she is over whatever hurt she had. and she has no desire to be here.

so the national average is 55x/yr - you're right on that number. whether that number is good or bad is another question - but you're at least like most couples, whatever that means.

my suggestion is to dig into this. maybe you already have, sorry if I'm preaching to the choir. with a similar history, I've discovered lots of things by digging into that. here's a few: I felt rejected and unimportant to her; I quit initiating to see if she ever would; by not initiating I was treating her the same way I was mad about her treating me; I was hunting her desire more than the sex; by letting her set the tone of things, I was in effect handing her my balls and feeling emasculated and victim; I was interpreting her enthusiasm by my scale - not hers.

I dunno -see if any of that fits. gotta get past the blaming, dude.

 

I think for guys who have anxiety about this sort of thing, this thread would be more helpful by stressing that the quantity of sex isn’t nearly as important as the quality. If you’re focusing on the frequency of the sex you’re having, I think you’re focusing on the wrong thing.

 

There is a deeper reason. Many of us made ourselves available to our husbands as often as possible and still we were turned down for years. Frequency is an excuse, not an actual reason. I wish you luck as you reboot and seek to find more answers on your journey and strengthen your relationship.