My porn addict inside me hates when I take action towards my goals. It despises the fact now when I get an urge, my first response is to take action towards my goals. I have stopped dwelling on it, now whenever I get an urge it is a sign I need to take action towards my goals. In a way if I was feeling stressed, anxious etc I would see porn as a way out, and try and act (view porn) to release the stress and anxiousness. Now I see these triggers as my brain helping me towards my goals. It is telling me yeah you feel stressed because you need to take proper action to relieve your stress and anxiety. Watching porn is not proper action.
If u don't mind be asking, what is it you do when you feel these triggers? How do you deal with stress and anxiety now?
Great philosophy, a perspective that doesn't just seek to hide from urges but puts them to use. A tool for each of us to 'Know Thyself'. One thing I'd like to add is that, when feeling urges, I feel that the stronger the urge the greater the benefit is of not succumbing to it. I think this fits in with what you were saying that the stronger the urge the bigger the problem or need that you're brain/body/YOU are trying to escape from and that needs to be fixed.
100% agree mustynasty. Malik, what I mean is when I get an urge I am normally trying to escape pain of some sort. Whether it be boredom, stress or fear. It is my primal/limbic part of my brain saying "hey you feel stress, I know an easy way of relieving it through porn etc", but the real way to relieve it is to take action towards improving your life right then and there (which removes that stress properly). That way you get the benefits of improving your life and the urge dissipaters. Check out a book called the obstacle is the way.
Hi Zendoc, I'm very new here, and this is very helpful. It is indeed stress that points the way to PMO, when actually it is some other action that would relieve the cause of stress itself. I have a lot of issues with stress and anxiety, and in good periods I do a lot of meditation, exercise, teach martial arts, and PMO fades away. If I don't and let the stress get to me... I will take away a question, next time I feel the urge, I will ask "what am I stress and anxious about?" an d perhaps the next question is "what small positive first step can I take towards dealing with this stressor?"
Yeah, exactly Elfrog, it is important to remember that. Also it is important to remember that PMO only offers temporary relief from that stress. It will never ever relieve that stress. Good luck.
That is a really powerful insight, Zendoc. When a natural feeling or experience is hijacked by the addiction it is only then an urge is created. And we are only aware of it when that urge plants suggestions in our conciousness trying to guide us to act on those urges. For many, the way to resist the urges is to resist at the point of decision to act on those urges. That is a point where you have the freedom to make the right decision. But you have to be aware of the urge enough to be able to decide against it and often the arguments placed by the addiction can be very persuasive. It is difficult, but with practise it is very powerful. What you are doing, it seems, is reacting to things even earlier on. You are learning to recognise the emotions and reactions that are commonly hijacked by the addiction and you are addressing them before the addiction can use them. Impressive. Most impressive. Now you have a 2 stage defence against the addiction. Being mindful of what you are feeling and what you are thinking subconsciously leads not only to a quicker recovery from addiction, but also a deeper understanding of yourself and less mental conflict. Having a purpose - a list of tasks that need completing or a skill to learn or a meditation to practise is necessary to draw from while you address those feelings. Good luck!
Wow perusan, eloquently said. Some interesting thoughts indeed. Thanks for your expansion on the topic.
