Comments on Profile Post by Halpherisdusfrey

basic life skills that need more work . https://www.smartrecovery.org/life-after-relapse-how-to-bounce-back-and-start-over/

I'll keep going, and always keep hoping, and keep trying, keep doing. I hope we all do that :)

I wrote in my paper journal about my best version when i'm 'sober', versus the person i am after a relapse. And it's a complete contradiction, two different polars of Earth @@

When i'm in my best version, i'm resistant to stress, i can work actively, i'm playful with my family, open-minded in work and to my working partners, i'm maybe that 'cool calm unwavering serene happy' person i wish i am.

After a relapse (go on Incognito mode), i can't maintain a single eye-contact, before i'm fairly good at that, pay attention to people and being present in the conversation. I lose track of time, i always think about relapse. I talk less to my parents, i'm not playful with my mum as i do everyday. Now i'm working alone but imagine there're my friends and i have to go to school, socialize, stay in class...

That's the worst nightmare i've been through, and i never want to be in that state again in my life. And after a relapse in my old days, the next day i was literally in muscle pain (as i am, yes you may feel that), and in my mental was like "act in the role of H" (H is my real name irl, as my 'version' i am interacting to people)

but inside no i'm not H right now, i'm just acting like her. You can see it's depersonalizing there. So yeah, i notice tons consequences: like less socialize, being discreet, inferior, lost track of time so not in good performance => lead to bad interaction, bad affair, bad relationship, lack of social relationship, depression,

loneliness, and the envy and jealousy to my fellows who have stable mentality, and their life was manifest in that happy stable way, not up-and-down of emotions, like me.

Sometimes i'm too happy and forget how i was struggling those old days.. And how it's so freakin hard for me (as for anyone in here) who try hard to get here, get to today, being present and do their work effectively, live a healthy and happy life they wish to live.

But yeah, my work needs me. My working partners need me. I need myself the most. And i need you fellows in this site who are so supportive to others. Thank you, i never thank you enough how you have participate in my life in the way so amazing :) Hope you all great health, great mentality, inside and out, good luck to us, we are capable of anything we want to achieve :D ! Fighting :D

https://destinationhope.com/how-to-stay-positive-after-a-relapse/ :D

https://ibb.co/ZzrfXPK Here're different effects of Dopamine and Serotonin to brain , one for addiction, one for everlasting happiness

Ah my friend, I do feel you. Especially in the last messages. I had a bad relapse as well for similar reasons. I forgot. I forgot how hard was to build all the happiness I had. Just took it for granted. But we struggle with those things.
So we can't let our guard down. It's a continuos fight halphie. But worth it.
So let's keep on fighting.
A big big hug

@fg4795 .. yeah, to PMO there were mixing things in there, about instant gratification and long-term fulfillment, sometimes it's a thin line between them. My mentality is wavering now and i notice that, and i try not put to many pressure and weight and blame on me, cause i know i'd be counter-productive and it can be harm.