1 day challenge

good bad good bad good bad.

I had these great long streaks but now I am back to square one. Everyone has the right the right to challenge my commitment.

When I am doing well I forget I am a compulsive person. I feel normal then eventually I crash. but when I crash I annihilate myself.

the good thing is I am able to function in society and am productive. 3 or 4 years ago I was just fapping and doing shit.

now I am a functioning addict/compulsive person. So I will check in 24 hours. No PMO.

I will set goals but at the moment my brain is so gone I just need to focus on 24 hours.

 

Nearly 24 hours.

That's was easy. But when I get home I will sort out my shit. The worry is after that. So I will need to write out my day 2 goals.

 

ok just focus on doing another 24 hours.

I can't tell if I am flat lining. I don't care just get the job done. the week end is the focus. this Sunday and next Friday. but one day at a time.

 

2 days done. boom pretty easy. not saying this will last. again focus on the next 24 hour is:

watch morning glory.

and focus on Sunday when ill be alone tired and bored. replacement behaviour could be designing on adobe photoshop.

 

Morning time is a hard period. Because of the old hormones kicking in.

So I am checking in. 2.5 days in. Basically I'm tired and get morning glory.

A recipe for poor behavior

All I need to do is get up and take a shower

 

3 days. Done. Easy. Next few days I really need to watch out. And Sunday. Anyway. Well done me

 

5 days. And it's easy but I know a tough time is ahead. On Sunday. Wish I had the answers but I just need to keep typing away here and reading and supporting others.

When I'm on here I start planning out my day and reflect why I do this.

 

So it is the weekend. Up to now it has been easy.

I enjoy my work so I am fully occupied but now comes the challenge when I am alone, tired and bored and the weekend.

Fap can cure all these things in one go. I don't even want to do it but I can feel that creep of thoughts of Doing it.

My stomach feels sick and it feels tough. So this is every persons challenge. I could do my house chores then go back to sleep and rest more. I guess I need a 6 hour challenge before I check in for day 6.

 

done my 6 hours and now another 6 hours.

I did my work. I am up to date. and thats a problem. now I have no challenges and I am tired bored and all alone. my brain is also wired from going out last night.

so I have to focus from 2pm till 8pm. this is breathing meditation time and house project time.

a healthy focus. lets get on it.

 

Done.

Tough but done. I need to break things up to 6 hours this weekend. I really want to achieve 7 days.

The next 6 hours is hard.

I'm stressed tired alone and bored. But I do feel generally positive about things.

I just need to chill. Watch YouTube and pass time. I feel bad for doing that but really it's a great thing to do. Once this stressful situation comes to ahead I'll be good. It's out of my hands I just need to run the clock out.

 

Again I am stressed tired and bored and alone.

The cocktail of all the elements are there hence why I am finding it tough.

Again to get rid of the stress I just need to run the clock out. After 2pm it will be a lot easier.

5 hours and 20 mins of hard work then I can chill.

I also feel guilty for not supporting others on the site. I will give myself permission not to do that till week 2 once I get my strength. Now I just need to focus on getting my strength back by tuning down the clock.

 

blogging my way out of this. somehow putting it online does something. 1 hour from 7 days and that feels nice but I feel tired, hungry, bored and I'm alone. the stress is way down not gone put the immediate stress has gone. I just need to get to 9pm and the week is done. again its the 6 hour chunks. weekends are hard for me. I am saturated watching youtube and organising stuff. however, for the time being thats all I can do. the next few hours I can design something and go food shopping. or cook lentils!