112 Days but Feeling Low...

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by springwater30, Feb 25, 2018.

  1. springwater30

    springwater30 Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone, so I have good news and bad news.

    The great news is I have been free from porn and masturbation for 112 days! I came clean about my addiction to a trusted friend and have asked for his help in keeping me accountable. I never imagined that I would be able to make it this far. Previously, my longest streak was around 28 or 29 days.

    I feel more confident, more engaged, and more a part of my community than ever before. Honestly, up until just recently I've been thinking about PMO less and less; definitely having an easier go than I imagined.

    The bad news is I just broke up with the girl I was dating. We had only been dating a couple months (met her about 40 days into my streak) but she was really special. My cravings to look at porn have come back with a vengeance over the past couple days since our breakup. I now see that loneliness and longing for connection is a huge trigger for me.

    I'm committed to remaining PMO free for life. I am an addict and there is no amount of responsible porn use for me; it all leads back to a life that I wasn't happy with.

    I guess I'm asking/looking for support, encouragement, and maybe even a few words of wisdom as to how to remain PMO free through times of loneliness and struggle. I really don't want to slip up at this point. I've come too far and there is too much at stake to go backwards.

    Cheers and keep fighting the good fight!!!
     
  2. sakagamii

    sakagamii New Fapstronaut

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    keep fighting bro! please don't slip what you have now a 100+ days streak is what all of us here want to achieve! trust you will regret it more then anything if you relapse now. Not having a girlfriend is not a sign that NoFap is not working and you can go back to porn! nofap is all about changing yourself to become a better man! maybe breaking up with your girl is for the better! whaat you should do now is try to get a better girl! and do you really think going back to porn would help you do that??
     
    spitfire likes this.
  3. scote73

    scote73 Fapstronaut

    As a guy who went right back into porn after a break-up, I can say that it's truly commendable that you haven't to this point. I admire you sir!

    Patience is key. Keep living a PMO free life, keep living a life of confidence, and things will begin to fall into place for you. You just have to be patient, *especially* when it feels like nothing's happening.
     
  4. zaboomafoo

    zaboomafoo Fapstronaut

    There are nearly 8 billion people in the world which means there are lots of people you may love, be friend, marry etc., there are countless things to do and buy, there are thousands of places to visit.
    As long as you breath there is a hope. You have time to make a cup of tea/coffe, sit on your favourite chair, get relax and enjoy the moment just because you're alive.
    Don't obsess about the future, focus on the present and make something good with it.
    Don't be a prisoner of people who knows your instincts better than you and tries to earn money by poking your urges.
    Punch your grim thoughts in the face and be happy.
     
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  5. Inactive User

    Inactive User Fapstronaut

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    That is awesome dude—stay strong. You are now enduring the true test: finding a reason to keep resisting—to keep going in general—that is within yourself instead of someone else. When you finally meet the right girl then you will be stronger than ever before.

    You can do this man!
     
    j_pwc_bat likes this.
  6. Mkngitwrk

    Mkngitwrk Fapstronaut

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    How did you find these connections? Do you still have them? I try to just have platonic relationships and I get to attached to quickly and scare them off or I am the polar opposite and just want sex because i am abstaining and get annoyed and move on. How do I keep if sex free and still enjoyable?
     
  7. Mkngitwrk

    Mkngitwrk Fapstronaut

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    You can do it. There are plenty of fish in the sea. You have made it this far and I am taking all of the PMO days free as motivation to achiebve those same results I read about in this forum. You are strong.....keep on moving forward. It is easier to give advice and harder to swallow.
     
  8. springwater30

    springwater30 Fapstronaut

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    Hey thanks for all of the encouragement guys! You'll be happy to know that I've stayed clean over the past couple days. Weekends are sometimes the biggest temptations when I don't have my normal school/work routine to keep me busy.

    As a matter of fact I think I'm going to head home and visit my family for a couple days. I'm on a break from school and I just don't trust myself to be alone for that long while I'm feeling this way. I think getting out of town and being around people I'm close with will be a big help in getting me past this breakup. When I come back I should be ready to jump back into my normal routine and the temptations should subside a bit.

    I just think it's smartest to not put myself in a situation where I can get into trouble over the next few days...
     
    spitfire, Kris456 and Mkngitwrk like this.
  9. Good man.

    And yeah... couple things I noticed about myself. Early on in the process I noticed if I was super upset or agitated, I'd actually start to fiend masturbation, exactly as a self-soothing mechanism. A break up would have defintely done that. But with time it lessons and I find myself more resilient.

    I also find that when I'm starting to crave and fantasize a bit, I'll think of the life and future I want to have, and that keeps me focused and kills the urges.
     
    j_pwc_bat likes this.
  10. Timeforachange90

    Timeforachange90 Fapstronaut

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    You're doing great - I'd try and keep busy during times of temptation. Try and plan ahead and make sure each day you have something planned with others and avoid the alone time as much as possible. That's always where I falter - but if you're with others and doing things you'll feel more connections and feel better about yourself and as a result you're less likely to succumb. Good luck with it and stay strong!
     
  11. R2Bees

    R2Bees Fapstronaut

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    i can tell you right now bro, coming back to this hell hole issa big no no. its not good at all. right now im on one day after relapsing from 4 days and i can tell you that i feel like shit right now, and i find it hard to socialise and this is the reason why. as you have 100+ days under your belt, its best you carry on doing what you have been doing and dont masturbate. its for the better, and as your girl left you, use the confidence and will power that you have now to go and do bigger and better things, find a new girl and the right girl, because it could be that she wasnt right for you and as i say to myself when things i want dont happen, "things happen for a reason and its usually a good one". your confidence will help you find a new partner in no time. stay strong for us at least lol, because hearing that someone with 100+ days wants to give it all up is very worrying for ME espcially that is trying and struggling to stop at the moment. STAY STRONG BRUTHER!
     
    spitfire likes this.
  12. spitfire

    spitfire Fapstronaut

    I agree with all the other comments - stay strong - we're all here with you. Hard to accept emotionally, but the guys are right when the say that you will find the right girl sooner or later - use your non-PMO time to go out and find her - go out and socialise :)
    And enjoy the family time.
     
  13. UnitCircular

    UnitCircular Fapstronaut

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    Hang in there springwater30. 112 days is a hell of an accomplishment and you don't want to give that up. We all deal with painful emotions and we have to find healthy ways to deal with them. Numbing them won't help either and we need to feel our depression and loneliness in order to feel happiness and joy.
     
    spitfire likes this.
  14. Mkngitwrk

    Mkngitwrk Fapstronaut

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    Congrats! I will try to keep my excitement under control and focus on what is going on. If there are any techniques to share please do.
     
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  15. RememberWhyWeQuit

    RememberWhyWeQuit Fapstronaut

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    Stay strong and realize that it isn't worth you have improve a lot and the days will be brighter in the future. Understand that you made the effort to quit and that resuming this activity will not help improve your life but rather derail you from accomplishing what you can do.
     
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  16. springwater30

    springwater30 Fapstronaut

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    Hey brothers! Just wanted to clarify that I don't want to give up or go back to PMO; I just know that I'm more susceptible to those temptations when I'm feeling low.

    For all of you guys early on in the journey, keep up the great work! It does get progressively easier the further along you go. I won't say that there aren't temptations but they get easier to avoid and to push back against. I do however think it's important for us to recognize that we are addicts and we must always be vigilant because the addiction will come for us when we are at our weakest.
     
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  17. spitfire

    spitfire Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the encouragement, @springwater30 - keep going - I'm sure the low will pass & you'll feel even happier that you stayed PMO-free.
     
    Awakeatlast likes this.
  18. Mkngitwrk

    Mkngitwrk Fapstronaut

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    I guess once my confidence is as high as yours I will succeed in this dance of courtship. I don't want to get cocky and miss an opportunity.
     
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